


We've Come A Long Way

by SolaceActor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Major Character Deaths, F/M, Manga Spoilers, Ongoing story, Possible eventual sex scene, Possible non-canon pairings, Romance, Sequel, Slow Romance, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:31:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 59,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolaceActor/pseuds/SolaceActor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to 'The Outsider and the Thugs'. Six years have passed since Isabel's and Farlan's deaths and Rhia and Levi must protect Eren Jaeger and the new recruits in the upcoming events of a new expedition, new discoveries and an impending revolution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arguments and the New Recruits

**Author's Note:**

> As I said in the summary, this is a sequel to my story 'The Outsider and the Thugs'. I'd recommend reading that first before reading this, as it'll give you an idea of the relationship between Levi and Rhia and also the horrors they experienced in 844. This will be slower in updating since I've returned to school, and concerning the speech and the plot, I'm going along with the manga, not the anime so it'll hopefully be quicker to update. The story opens on the Scout Graduation Day, where Eren and the rest of the 104th (excluding Annie) have joined the Survey Corps.

      “You want me to do what?” I raised an eyebrow.   
      “Teach them how to survive.” Erwin instructed, crossing his arms as he sat back in his chair. It’s the year 850, six years on since Levi and I returned from that expedition, and Erwin is the new Commander. Keith had retired to being the instructor for all cadets and Levi had been promoted to being a Captain and Hanji was a Squad Leader. I was Levi’s deputy, which was a pretty hefty responsibility.   
      “They’re still kids.” I shook my head. “They’re fifteen. How can you enroll children into the Scouting Legion?”   
      “This is how it’s always been, Rhia.” His office was comfortable but mostly filled with books and documents. Being the Commander meant he had a lot of privileges, though he hardly ever utilised them. He was still an honourable man. At least, I had thought so until he asked me to train the twenty one newest recruits and the Titan shifter, Eren Jaeger. I had yet to meet him, as he had been taken away to Levi’s Special Squad that I _wasn’t allowed_ to join for some reason, no matter how much Levi and I insisted I should be there.   
      “It’s wrong. Children shouldn’t have to see those kinds of things.” I muttered.   
      “But they do. Surely you of all people, Rhia, should understand that they need to know how to defend themselves.” I paused. “They’ll stand a better chance of surviving if you help them and teach them. You’re the only person who can do this.” He watched me imploringly. At last, I sighed.   
      “Fine, Erwin. I can’t promise anything. I’ve never really… interacted with kids before.”   
      “Treat them as adults then. Don’t go easy on them.” I sucked on my bottom lip and nodded.   
      “Sure thing. Anything else, Commander?” He started rifling through his paperwork.   
      “The top ten soldiers from the Southern districts are assembling in the training grounds now and are waiting for you.” I narrowed my eyes at him.   
      “You assumed I’d agree?” He looked up at me.   
      “I know that you wouldn’t leave them to die. Thank you, Lieutenant, that’ll be all.” I hated being called that but I inclined my head respectfully and left his office with a glum expression. How am I going to train kids? I’ve never even spoken to one before! Would they even like me? _They don’t have to like you. They simply need to learn_. Right, right, yeah, but I want them to like me. If I’m instructing them, I’m undoubtedly going to get attached to them and if they die… _Then teach them how to live_. Okay… I walked down the stairs and nodded to Hanji as we passed each other in the corridor.   
      “Hey, Rhia, what are you doing now?”   
      “I’m teaching some of the twenty two recruits from the 104th Squad.” She looked at me with an envious smile.   
      “Ohhh, you lucky person! You’ll like them, trust me! Eren is really nice and he listened to all of my experiments and asked to hear _more_ about it!” He did? Wow, he sounds like a nice kid. No-one really expressed any interest in all of Hanji’s experiments, mostly because she rambled on and on, but they were interesting in their essence. A lot of the newest things we’d discovered about Titans had come from her experiments.   
      “Oh, okay… We’ll just have to see, I guess.” We said our goodbyes and I made my way through the courtyard to where the recruits were lined up in the dusty training ground. As I approached, they stopped talking and stood to attention. Only one of them was shorter than me, dammit. She seemed cute though and a little scared. _Don’t get attached_. I probably will but I’ll try not to.   
      “Good afternoon, recruits.” They saluted.   
      “Ma’am!” Ma’am? That sounded… weird.   
      “Um, don’t… Don’t call me that.” Some of them lightly frowned at me. “I’m probably the only person here who will encourage you to address me by my forename rather than… ‘ma’am’ or ‘sir’ or even ‘lieutenant’. You can call me Rhia.” They seemed speechless but they didn’t let it on except for a few sideways glances to each other. “It’s my job as of ten minutes ago to teach you how to stay alive on the outside. For those of you who don’t know, I was born and raised outside of the sanctuary of the walls.” Some of them dropped their salute in shock. “I was brought in six years ago through the Shigan-” I cut off because I realised I recognised three of the recruits. They waited patiently for me to finish my sentence. When I didn’t, they frowned.   
      “Uh… Ma-Rhia?” One of them, a girl with brown hair in a ponytail and light skin asked.   
      “S-sorry… I… I’ve seen you three before…” I was looking at the short blonde-haired boy, the girl wearing a scarf and the boy with messy brown hair and blue-green eyes. The blonde tilted his head.   
      “You have?” I was about to speak when the girl beat me to it.   
      “She came in through the Shiganshina district on the back of Commander Erwin’s horse in 844, Armin.” She informed him. “I’d been with you and Eren for three months.” I huffed a chuckle.   
      “And you still wear the scarf you wore that day.” I muttered, mostly to myself. Clearly, it had sentimental value to her, much like my gloves.   
      “You’re not wearing yours.” The brown haired boy, Eren I assumed, said boldly.   
      “Being a Scout meant I had to sacrifice a few things.” I explained. “I still have everything I brought in with me that day though.” I saw that we were getting off-topic and cleared my throat. “We’re getting off track, apologies. I’d like your names please.” I started from the left side.   
      “Ymir.” No surname, like myself and Levi.   
      “Krista Lenz.”   
      “Reiner Braun.”   
      “Bertholdt Hoover.”   
      “Jean Kirchstein.”   
      “Connie Springer.” Connie’s cheeks were pink when I stood in front of him but I ignored it.   
      “Sasha Braus.”   
      “Armin Arlert.”   
      “Mikasa Ackerman.”   
      “Eren Jaeger.” I nodded and returned to stand in front of them.   
      “Give me a few days so I can learn your names. If I get it wrong, bear with me; my memory for people still hasn’t, uh… adapted, if you will.” _Put a wall between them and yourself. So you’ve seen three of them before. Get rid of that emotion now._ “Your first exercise. Arrange yourself from most capable soldier”, I gestured to my left, “To least capable.” I gestured to my right. They hesitated for a moment, thrown off by my sudden dismissive tone. A little bit of guilt gnawed at me. _Don’t feel guilty. You’re here to teach not to get to know them_. I watched them immediately place Mikasa as the most capable and Reiner and Bertholdt soon followed. As others struggled amongst themselves to get into position, Eren and Jean argued.   
      “The Instructor had me placed above you in the top 10 list!” Eren yelled, getting up in Jean’s face.   
      “Considering the fact that you’ve never killed a Titan as a soldier and I have,” Jean retorted, “I think that ranks me above you, Jaeger!”   
      “Like hell it does, I’m still better than you!”   
      “Better than me? Shut up!” I stepped between them and shoved them apart, both of them surprised at my strength for my stature.   
      “Already I can see what’s wrong with you.” I stated. “What I asked of you all was unfair, and I apologise, but it’s given me the insight I need to know how best to help you now.” They gathered around in front of me and awaited my conclusion. “You can’t work together, _you two in particular_.” I looked pointedly at Jean and Eren, who were still eyeing each other with glares. “Whether something has happened between you two already or if it’s just a simple clash of personalities, this needs to stop. Let’s put this into a hypothetical scenario. Eren and Jean are separated from the group and are pushed by Titans into a forest of ordinary trees, the ones you see around you every day. Your gas is low and you’ve lost your horses. Three Titans are following you. What do you both do?” They answered simultaneously.   
      “Kill the Titans!”   
      “Escape with what’s left of the gas.” They glowered at each other.   
      “Escape, what are you thinking!?” Eren demanded. “We’re trained to fight Titans!”   
      “You want to sign your own death wish? Be my guest!” Jean growled.   
      “It doesn’t matter because you’re both wrong.” They looked at me with surprise. “Think about it rationally, boys. Titans are unpredictable and it’s easy to get cocky and then get eaten or killed. Escaping with what’s left of your gas is quite foolish as well. You don’t know for certain how much you’ve got left and if you get stranded on the floor with no gas, you’re done for. The forest was an ordinary woodland, right? Then use the trees to your advantage. Titans can smell you but they can’t see you through the trees and leaves. If you’re quick and if you work together, you can escape the Titans without dying and without using what’s left of the precious gas.” They were speechless, which I guess was good. “What would you do if it was a Tall Forest?” They blinked and didn’t speak. “Not a great answer, boys. There are no branches on the trees closer to the ground so you can’t climb them unless you use your swords if you’re stranded with no gas. It’s difficult but it can be done, and I’ll be teaching you how to do that soon. But in this hypothetical situation, you have plenty of gas but no horses and you don’t know where your squad or the rest of the Survey Corps are. Now what do you do?”   
      “Escape the forest?” Eren asked after a long pause.   
      “Wrong again, Eren, sorry. Get high up into the trees and stay on the branches that the Titans can’t reach. Do you know what you do then?” Again, they didn’t respond and the rest of the recruits were listening intently. “You discuss your next move calmly. The variables I’ve given you may not be identical and you may be stuck with someone else in this situation, but you need to discuss what happens next no matter what. If you knew the next destination of the legion, you may decide to cut through the forest to the other side to see if your squad or anyone is on the other side. Or, you may think it’s wiser to stick to the edge of the forest and swing around, hoping for horses or people (hopefully friendly ones). Something that you should definitely take into account and hopefully utilise are your flare guns. Black is for an emergency and red is for a Titan spotting, only the vanguard have the green flares. If you think it’s a dire situation for you and whomever you’re with, fire the black one. The Commander will dispatch a squad to collect you from where he sees the flare.” _You’re rambling a little_. “The point I’m trying to make is that teamwork is critical. Your friendship and ability to function under pressure with others is paramount outside the walls.” I sighed and took a few paces back. “We only have one month. Our training will be hard and I will push you to your limit. I will teach you how to climb, fight, hunt and anything else that I think is important. You’re not Cadets anymore and you’ve seen what Titans can do. I can’t force you to take my advice, though it’s highly recommended. But know this: if you don’t listen to me and learn what I have to teach, your rate of survival is below twenty percent. Heed my advice and it’s tripled. It’s up to you… Is there anyone who doesn’t want to be here?” I waited for one of them to raise their hand or to nod and walk off but they stayed where they were with a grim determination in their eyes. _Astonishing_. Uh, okay…   
      “Good. Our training begins first thing tomorrow. We’ll start with climbing. Don’t be late. Scouts.”   
      “Ma’am!” The salute required the formal title, it seemed. I grimaced a little but shrugged it off.   
      “Dismissed.” I marched off and went straight to Levi’s office (he'd want to hear about my amazing defusing of the situation, it's not just me wanting to see him, having not seen him at all that day, I swear), passing Mike, Nanaba and Hanji on the way again. “Hey guys.”   
      “Rhia, hi! How were the recruits?”   
      “They were… good, actually. I’m still scared I’ll fuck up their lives outside the walls but we’ll see.”   
      “Don’t be hard on yourself.” Mike urged me. “They’ll be fine.” I smiled weakly.   
      “Thanks, Mike. See you guys later.” I moved on and came to Levi’s door. I knocked on it and waited.   
      “Enter.” I heard from inside and I pushed the door open. Levi’s office was spacious and was much cleaner and more organised than Erwin’s office. I found myself wanting an office but whenever I needed to do some documentation, I used Levi’s office. He was lounging in his chair, his legs propped up on the desk and he was drinking tea, as per usual. I’d practically stopped noticing that Levi still wore the cravat every day and he no longer commented on my constant wearing of the gloves he’d given me.   
      “Afternoon.” I said, stretching my limbs and walking over.   
      “Long day?”   
      “Surprisingly, no. I’ve done practically nothing today except paperwork; I didn’t even attend the Scout Graduation Ceremony. I did, however, just conduct a small lesson with our newest recruits from the 104th Squad, including the shifter, Eren Jaeger.” He put his cup down and laced his fingers together over his lap.   
      “Oh? Are the brats any interesting?” I seated myself on the edge of his desk.   
      “Hm, they seem alright. Eren and another recruit, Jean Kirchstein I think his last name was, had a bit of a scuffle. I like to think I settled it pretty well.”   
      “When you say settled, are you saying you beat the shit out of both of them?” I snorted.   
      “No, they’re still kids… I won’t beat the shit out of them until we have our first lesson.” He smirked.   
      “That’s more like it.”   
      “Hm. It’s odd, actually… I’ve met three of the recruits before.” Levi tilted his head, gesturing for me to continue. “When Erwin brought me in, we passed through the Shiganshina district. In the crowd, I saw three kids who turned out to be Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman. It’s strange seeing them again. Who’d have though it, huh?”   
      “Weird coincidence. Are you teaching them tomorrow?” I nodded.   
      “Mmhmm. We’ll be doing climbing and I’d like to get them started on using a spear. Fighting with the swords is awkward.”   
      “We’ve managed to get by with them.”   
      “I don’t like the fact that it’s not a double-edged blade though. It requires more maneuvering.” I complained. “We’ll see, I guess… Shit, I hope they don’t die.”   
      “You’re attached to them already?”   
      “No.” I snorted. “It’s just that if my lessons get them killed, it’s another ten people that I’ve let die, isn’t it, with an added twelve once I’m acquainted with this lot?” His jaw clenched. _Fuck me… Please?_ He rose out of his chair and for a terrifying moment, I thought I’d said it out loud. He stood in front of me with his arms crossed instead. _Damn_.   
      “You’re still blaming yourself for them.” He stated.   
      “Obviously. If I hadn’t have gotten myself separated from you all, they’d still be here. I’d promised Dana that I’d protect her and yet she still died. Gred died and I could have saved him and then the squad leader was killed and if I hadn’t have gone on some stupid Titan killing rampage, I could have saved him too… I didn’t even know his name…” I hung my head and sighed. “It’s been six years and I still dream about it…” A hand grabbed my ponytail and my face was pulled up to his, leaving barely an inch between our faces.   
      “Shut up.” He growled, both of our cheeks pink (though his were very light pink and mine were practically tomato red). “Stop punishing yourself. It was the Titans and the bandits that killed them and all of the squad you were with. If you want someone to blame, blame them. We’ll be killing even more of them in a month’s time. So shut up.” Levi could be sweet in a very insulting way. I sighed.   
      “Right… ‘Kay.” After another moment, he let go of my hair and crossed his arms again, looking down at me.   
      “Don’t fucking ‘kay’ me.” I laughed.   
      “My bad, sorry.” He was still watching me sternly. “Okay, fine, I promise not to punish myself about it anymore. I can’t exactly help the dreams though…” I muttered the last bit under my breath.   
      “Fucking get rid of them.”   
      “Pfft, don’t be a hypocrite.”   
      “I sleep perfectly well, thank you.”   
      “Right, yeah, sure, I believe that. Communication is a two-way thing, Levi.” He rolled his eyes. “I can’t help if you don’t fucking tell me what’s happening.”   
      “I don’t need your fucking help.” This was an argument we’d been having a lot lately. Ever since Levi had fallen asleep on one of our days off a week or so ago and woken up practically screaming (like he had done the night we’d settled into the castle after the disastrous expedition), we’d been arguing about this and he’d been avoiding the subject. I watched him with a scowl for a few seconds longer before shaking my head with a scoff.   
      “Fine. Fuck it.” I pushed myself off of his desk and strode over to the door. “See you at dinner.” I heard him sigh but I left the office anyway, closing the door firmly but not enough to slam. Speaking of dinner, now was about the right time to go and eat something. When I got down there, the recruits were down there on their own table. I nodded at them respectfully as I passed and grabbed a roll.   
      “Hey, Rhia!” I turned. Sasha was calling me. After a small pause, I headed over.   
      “Yes, Sasha?” I asked.   
      “I-I was just wondering what else we were doing tomorrow?” She had a lot of bread in front of her and was eating a potato. I guessed she appreciated food.   
      “Well, as I said, climbing in the morning. You’re all familiar with the 3DMG so we won’t be spending long on that in the coming weeks. I’d like to get you using other weapons as well, other than your swords.”   
      “Other weapons?” Ymir asked. “But other weapons won’t kill Titans.”   
      “Not entirely true, I got along perfectly well without swords when I lived outside. I used a spear for the Titans and bandits, along with a knife. I’d like to get you familiar with using those.”   
      “Bandits?” Krista squeaked.   
      “There’re bandits outside the walls?” Eren was quite shocked, just as everyone else was. Apparently not everyone had been informed of the increasing numbers of criminals outside the walls.   
      “Mmhm. They pose just as much of a threat as Titans, that’s why I’m teaching you how to fight as well. If you were caught by these guys, you’d be dead in minutes if you didn’t know how to fight. So we’ll be working on that later and, if we have time, I’d like to see how you all fare in hand to hand, in case you don’t have a weapon.”   
      “Mikasa, you’ll enjoy that.” Armin encouraged with a smile. Mikasa hummed in agreement.   
      “Rhia!” We all looked to see Hanji waving with a grin. Levi was already seated there (he must have followed me down but kept distance between us, the little shit) and he watching me carefully. I nodded and held a hand up to indicate I’d be there in a minute.   
      “Long day tomorrow so eat well and rest up. Your easy training has hereby ended. Tomorrow, you’ll get the proper training to be the best Scouts you can be.” I went to move away but a hand grabbed my arm. I looked back with a small frown. Armin held my elbow.   
      “We appreciate this, Rhia.” He said with a warm smile. I blinked at him.   
      “Yeah, thanks, Rhia!” Sasha grinned, the rest of the group smiling or nodding at me to agree.   
      “Uh… Um… You’re welcome…? You really don’t have to…” They looked so cute though… _Don’t get attached_. But… Aww… “I’ll try my best to keep you guys alive. Tomorrow’s gonna be fun.” I nodded at them and then departed for Hanji’s table. Erwin, Levi, Mike, Nanaba and Moblit sat there. I settled between Hanji and Moblit, sitting opposite Erwin.   
      “They really seem to appreciate what you’re doing for them, Rhia.” Erwin observed, looking at me pointedly as he ate a potato.   
      “I guess. Just gotta hope I don’t fuck up and get them killed, huh?” I said airily.   
      “Have some faith.” He encouraged. I hummed and bit into the bread as they continued to talk. I tuned out of it for a while. They seemed like good kids. They were determined and brave, having joined the Scouts after witnessing their friends being eaten during the invasion in Trost. They seemed enthusiastic and kind as well. Mikasa reminded me a little of myself, I’ll admit, but I had to keep my distance from them emotionally. I couldn’t teach them properly if I was friends with them and cared for them. _You’re still going to end up caring for them. It’s inevitable_. Yes, thank you, I don’t need that from you.   
      “Isn’t that right, Rhia?” A heavy slap on the back brought me back into the present. Pain ricocheted through my back and I seized up, my eyes going wide and my breath caught in my throat.   
      “Arrgghh…” I let out a strangled noise, my face now going red from not breathing. I exhaled and tentatively reached my hand around to touch the area carefully. Despite the wounds having healed since 844, strenuous training and the multiple battles with Titans (particularly since the breach of Wall Maria in 845) had caused the scarring to become inflamed occasionally and was very sensitive still.   
      “Oh shit! Sorry! Oh god!” Hanji fussed, her hands over her mouth.   
      “For fuck’s sake, Shitty Glasses…” Levi cursed.   
      “Ahhhh, fuuuuck…” My back stung like fuck and I hissed, bringing my hand back around again. “Hanji, fucking hell, warn me when you do that!”   
      “Better yet, don’t do it.” Levi bit out again. What was he doing? _This is his apology for earlier._ Pretty shit apology, really.   
      “Oh god, I’m so sorry! Did that hurt? That hurt a lot, actually, didn’t it? Shit, I’m sorry!” She continued to babble.   
      “Hanji, it’s fine… It didn’t hurt that much.”   
      “Don’t fucking lie.” Levi narrowed his eyes and I did the same.   
      “Don’t be a fucking hypocrite.” I ground out and we glared at each other for few seconds.   
      “... Right.” We looked at Erwin. “Clearly something’s going on with the two of you…”   
      “It doesn’t matter.” Levi mumbled.   
      “Of course it doesn’t fucking matter.” I rolled my eyes and broke my bread angrily.   
      “Don’t start.” He warned.   
      “I wouldn’t start if we’d just finish it!”   
      “Definitely trouble in paradise…” Hanji looked between us. “What’s going on?” Even if we were both angry at each other, we wouldn’t go blabbing to others. This was a personal matter.   
      “Don’t worry about it, Hanji, it’ll be sorted out. Right, Levi?” He glared at me again but nodded.   
      “Yes. Eventually.” I heaved another sigh but left it. The other four were staring at us but they nodded and left it as well.   
      “Rhia, if your back is still stinging, you should probably see a doctor about it.” Nanaba prompted, which was rare since she hardly ever spoke unless it was to Mike.   
      “It’s fine, she said it’d probably do that. It was a lot of scarring so she said it could still be painful later.” I brushed it off and finished my bread. “I’m gonna head to the roof.” Which meant I wanted to be alone. I left them to their conversation that would probably be about me and headed upstairs to the roof. I inwardly thanked Isabel, Farlan and Levi for making me aware of this place and for taking me up here. I breathed in the clear air and stood in front of the wall for a moment. It was warm and I pulled my jacket off, dumping it on the floor, and sat on the wall. The sky was practically clear and the sun was setting ahead of me. The HQ was one of the tallest buildings in Wall Sina, beaten only by the castle where the King lived and all legal matters and Military Police were. I hoped that one day, before I died, I’d get to stand at the top of the tower of the castle and be able to look all across Walls Sina, Rose and Maria. I sat on the wall for about ten minutes before the door behind me opened. I ignored it and continued to watch the sun set. Footsteps came to a stop beside me and in my peripheral vision, Levi sat beside me with a muted sigh. We didn’t speak for another five minutes or so.   
      “It’s been hurting a lot recently. Hasn’t it?” He was referring to my back.   
      “Only when people touch it. But I can’t lay on my back when I sleep anymore.” I informed him, running my hands over the leather of the gloves. “It’ll fade soon.” I dismissed.   
      “Will it? Or are you just saying it to get me off your back?” I snorted.   
      “If you jumped on my back, I’d flip you onto yours.” I joked. He wasn’t amused.   
      “You know what I mean.”   
      “You had a poor choice of words there and you know it.”   
      “Fact remains the same, you’re in pain.”   
      “It doesn’t hurt that much, it doesn’t even matter. Why do you care anyway?” It sounded harsher than I intended but he didn’t bat an eyelid.   
      “Holf still walks free and you expect me not to be concerned.”   
      “By all means, beat the shit out of him then.”   
      “I plan to. I’ve been hoping for a Titan to take care of him but we haven’t been so lucky…”   
      “Hmm, if only. He’s let off a little in the past year or so though.”   
      “He still threatens to kill you, Rhia.” I paused.   
      “Okay, when you put it like that…”   
      “I plan to make good on my promise to kill him.” We didn’t speak for a little while until I sighed.   
      “Let me guess. The guys sent you up here to see if I was okay.”   
      “I’m the only one you don’t mind approaching you when you’re up here.” He reasoned.   
      “Hmm. True. But you’re the only one who knows everything.” Of course, Hanji, Erwin and Mike all knew what happened to me when Jayden, Winnie and their friends carved ‘Outsider’ into my back, but they didn’t know about the assaults that had happened outside of the walls from bandits when I was growing up. Since the night I had told Levi, Farlan and Isabel everything, I hadn’t told anyone else and since Mick’s slow and painful death, I had killed four more bandits that had been on my list. I had one left - the one who had raped me twice. And he would die in the most painful way of all. Ever since the breach in 845, bandits had been piling inside the walls, pillaging wherever the Titans had missed and I’d heard that my final target had been one of those who had done the same. I couldn’t wait to find him.   
      “You’re not going to tell them about that then.”   
      “Of course not. I’m not going to tell anyone else about that.” I said firmly. “People don’t need to know.”   
      “I didn’t need to know.” I looked at him. “You still told me.” I shrugged.   
      “I told you because I wanted you to know. I’ve already said once that I’m not very good at keeping my own secrets.” We kept silent for another minute.   
      “The nightmares aren’t as common as they used to be.” Levi suddenly said. I turned to him and he was watching the sunset still. The sunlight warmed his features, making him look beautiful in the orange glow. His face was still indifferent but, like now, he often had a hard and brittle sadness inside his eyes that had been there since Isabel’s and Farlan’s deaths. Despite him publicly blaming the Titans and encouraging me to do the same, he still felt responsible for their deaths.   
      “I used to dream about them a lot and move around and shout when I was asleep.” It seemed he was confiding in me, at last. “I’d see their faces and hear their voices just before they died… Isabel didn’t see me but she shouted for me… And… Farlan saw me but didn’t speak to me… It’s been a near constant dream that I’ve had since then.” I listened carefully, not wanting to see him in pain talking about it but still hoping for him to tell me. “I didn’t dream about it so often after a few years…” He didn’t speak for a few seconds.   
      “And now they’re back…?” He shook his head.   
      “They’re different now. I’m seeing other people die instead. Erd, Gunther, Petra and Aururo.” His Special Squad that had been tasked with protecting Eren, then. Why would he be seeing them die? He sighed a little.   
      “But the dream I had the other day when I fell asleep under the tree wasn’t about that.” When he’d had the dream, we’d been relaxing under a tree in a park. Levi didn’t care much for the children but he liked the shade of the trees and I liked to read my books there. I’d been sketching him at the time actually (and there was no way in hell that I’d willingly show him the drawing, or drawings rather, since I’d drawn him multiple times) when he started to jerk around, shout and shake. I woke him up before he hurt himself and he seemed shocked at the time, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing when he looked at me. When I asked him what was wrong, he had deflected my questions and marched off in anger.   
      “I watched you die.” He admitted after a long pause. “First you were eaten. Then you were murdered by bandits. Then you were bitten but you fell to the floor and… you died in front of me.” I watched him dumbly. “You blamed me, in the dream, for not being able to save you.” I scoffed and he looked at me incredulously.   
      “You don’t know me as well as you think you do, then.” I explained. “I’m never going to blame you if I die. Note that I say ‘if’. I’m not dying anytime soon. You remember what I said that night? On the tower?” I paused to see if he could. “You’re stuck with me. Whether you like it or not.” He sighed after pausing.   
      “I can’t exactly help it if my subconscious doesn’t believe you, can I?”   
      “Excuse, excuses, Captain.” I teased. “I’ll admit I’m flattered that you’re dreaming about me but…” His cheeks flared up and he glowered at me. I laughed loudly at his indignant expression, nearly falling off the wall in the process.   
      “Oh my god, your face!” He looked at me disgruntled and stuck his middle finger up at me, looking back at the sky. “Aww, Levi, you’re so cute, don’t be mad at me.” His face was going pink again and I kept giggling to myself. The adrenaline of being told a ‘Levi secret’ had made me feel weird and happy. I never usually acted like this, you know. Sure, I flirted with him (who fucking wouldn’t?), and occasionally he flirted back, but I was never so… forward.   
      “Alright, alright, sorry…” My chortles died down and we sat and watched the sun disappear behind the wall. “Thank you for telling me about that. I didn’t mean to pressure you into it or anything.” He looked at me sidelong.   
      “It’s fine. Just shut up about me dreaming about you.”   
      “Why, do you do it a lot?” I had intended it to embarrass him again but, alas, he turned the tables on me.   
      “More than you know.” He said, his cheeks going a little pink nevertheless. I stared at him with my eyes and mouth wide. _Don’t think impure thoughts._ He raised an eyebrow at me.   
      “You’ll catch flies doing that.” He remarked and I quickly shut my mouth, my own face going very red.   
      “Fuck you, I was having fun with that…” I said, referring to my teasing.   
      “Tch, so I can’t have fun either?”   
      “Sure you can, just not when I am.”   
      “Pleasing you is so difficult, you know that?”   
      “I’m a woman, of course it is.”   
      “I can see that.” I heard him chuckle when his comment made me pause. “It’s easy to get you flustered.” _Catch him off guard_.   
      “You don’t know the half of it.” This time, he was watching me with surprise. I smirked in triumph and stood on top of the wall, since it was the only way I could be taller than him even though he was fucking short as well.   
      “Shall we go back in? It’s getting a little chilly.” Levi always recovered quickly.   
      “It’s because you’re not wearing your jacket, stupid.”   
      “Oh, you wound me with your words, Levi.” He rolled his eyes and rose to his feet as well, already walking towards the door. “You’re leaving me here? Ouch.”   
      “Hurry up then.” He opened the door and I quickly ran over. “You forgot your jacket.” Oh. I sheepishly turned and grabbed it before following him with a pink face. He only smirked at me and we headed inside. We walked in the direction of our rooms but when we turned the corner, we bumped into someone.   
      “Argh, sorry!” The person apologised. It was Connie Springer, one of the recruits from earlier this afternoon.   
      “Connie? What are you doing on your own?” His cheeks went very red and he started sweating.   
      “I-I-I just wanted to come and thank you p-personally!” I tilted my head with a frown.   
      “You don’t need to do that, Connie.”   
      “Yeah, you don’t.” Levi interjected, crossing his arms. Connie, shockingly, was smaller than Levi, though still taller than me.   
      “S-sorry, Captain.” Connie muttered.   
      “Don’t worry about it, just go back to the barracks, okay?” I cut across Levi before he could say anything else. “You don’t need to come and find me to thank me, I’m seeing you tomorrow, aren’t I?”   
      “Well, yeah…” Levi tutted at him and rolled his eyes.   
      “The little brat has a crush on you.” He bit out. A crush on me? That’s absurd. Connie’s eyes widened with panic and his face was red.   
      “Don’t be ridiculous, Levi.” I frowned at him. “Look, Connie, I’ll see you tomorrow. I appreciate the thought of you coming to see me, but there’s no need. Go on back to bed.” He swallowed thickly and hurried back the way he went. “You humiliated him.” I said when he was gone.   
      “He was following you. It’s creepy.”   
      “He wasn’t following me, he was coming to find me. They’re two different things, Levi.” We continued on our way.   
      “He’s fifteen and he has a crush on you.” He said resolutely.   
      “I only met him today, don’t be silly.”   
      “Sometimes it only takes a day.”   
      “He’s only fifteen anyway. It’s probably raging hormones or something. He’ll move on quickly.”   
      “Don’t go easy on him tomorrow.” I looked at Levi. We were nearing my room.   
      “What? Why would I go easy on him?”   
      “Because he has a crush on you. Duh.”   
      “That’s not a proper answer.”   
      “It’s the only one you’re gonna get and it’s the only one that would make sense.”   
      “... Seriously? Are you _seriously_ suggesting that I-”   
      “Does he make you weak at your knees? Does he make your heart beat faster? Does he make you blush?” He mocked. _No, you do_.   
      “What the fuck? Levi, he’s _fifteen_. I’m _thirty three_ , for god’s sake! That doesn’t make any sense!”   
      “You didn’t answer the questions.” We’d come to my door and I stared at him, mouth agape and my hands clenching into fists.   
      “You are such a shithead, you know that?”   
      “Thank you for stating the obvious.”   
      "What do you care anyway? Are you jealous or something?" He narrowed his eyes at me and his cheeks flushed a little, most probably out of anger. He was right to be angry; what I suggested was ridiculous anyway.   
      "Of course I'm not jealous, what is there to be jealous of?"   
      "Exactly! He's fifteen, Levi, stop getting so agitated!"   
      "I'd say you're getting more agitated than me."  
      “Fucking…” I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “I don’t have time for this. I’m tired.”   
      “You’re avoiding me now.”   
      “What gave you the first clue!?” He watched me calmly for a few seconds.  
      “I’ve upset you.” My first thought was: _Well, no, duh!_ I kept that behind my teeth however and sighed.   
      “Yes. You have.” He continued to watch me.   
      “You want me to apologise?” _He’s acting strange._    
      “I’m not expecting you to.” I leaned against my door.   
      “But you want me to?” Again, I sighed. I’d been doing that a lot recently.   
      “Sure. It’d be nice, I guess.” He didn’t say anything and I shook my head and went to open my door.   
      “Sorry.” I blinked at him. “For earlier as well. I… should have told you sooner.” My hand fell from the door handle. “And I’m sorry for embarrassing you. And the brat.” He refused to meet my eyes after the apology was done. I turned to him properly and crossed my arms.   
      “We’ve been fighting a lot lately, haven’t we?” His eyes darted up to mine.   
      “We’re nearing an expedition. Stressful times.” He had a point. We were both always a little more on edge when it came to expeditions, resulting in a few more arguments than usual. During these times, we’d keep as civil as possible and usually only sit in silence, in case we struck a nerve. Most of the time, however, we didn’t fight. I argued with Erwin more than Levi but the past few months had been tough. I mean, come on, there was the whole issue with the breach in Trost and then Eren revealed himself to be a Titan shifter and he plugged up the hole in the wall and then there was the trial and then Levi left with his Special Squad while everyone else picked up the pieces. When Levi had returned, it wasn’t all hugs and smiles between us. We were both pissed off that I couldn’t join them and some of that anger was directed at each other as well as Erwin. Ever since he returned, things had been getting out of hand.   
      “I suppose so. I’m sorry too. It’s not really any business of mine to know about your dreams and I overreacted earlier.” We stood in silence until I opened my door and headed in. “And the answer to the questions is ‘no’.” I muttered, leaning against the doorjamb.   
      “Good. See you at breakfast.”   
      “See you then.” And we parted ways. As I got changed and laid down in bed, I wondered whether I’d really be a good teacher or not. The recruits were the top ten from the Southern districts, as Erwin had told me. Or as close to the top ten as they could be; not all of them would have survived the war in Trost. That being said, if all of them were the original top ten, they had to be astounding soldiers. Some of them didn’t really strike me as the fighting type, though. Armin Arlert, for example. He was shy and timid but he had a good heart. He just didn’t seem like a soldier though. The same went for Krista Lenz. She seemed too fragile. But if they were the top ten, they’d have to be good soldiers. But I wasn’t teaching them to be soldiers. Not really. I wasn’t teaching them how to be Scouts either. I was teaching them how to be survivors. And I wouldn’t rest until they were. _Protect them with everything you have. Teach them everything you know. If it comes down to it, sacrifice yourselves for them. Do what needs to be done for them to survive._ And I would. 

 

 


	2. Not Cut Out For This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhia has her first day of teaching the 104th Squad but things go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for my tardiness! I've had a lot of stuff going on at home and at school which has made it difficult to keep writing this chapter (which is super long) and update! I hope this makes up for it!
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains brief mentions of torture.

      I woke up with the sun and groaned heavily. Sleep had evaded me for much of the night and I probably only managed about two hours. At least, for that night, I wasn’t plagued by nightmares. I rose out of bed and changed into my uniform, grabbing my spear and blade and sheathing them both before setting off for the cafeteria. Not many people woke up at the crack of dawn so I was alone as I ate my toast and drank my coffee; I’d need it for the long day I was about to endure. The recruits would assemble on the same courtyard that we had met the day before and I would then lead them to the training grounds that Keith Shadis had tutored me on for my first day as a Scout. I’d see how they coped with climbing the buildings and then we’d see about the trees. Hopefully, I’d get to show them the Tall Trees as well (or ‘big ass trees’ as Levi liked to call them). After that, I’d get them familiar with weapons other than the blades and, if we had time, we’d have a hand to hand session before dinner. It was going to be a full day and they’d be exhausted by the end of it, which meant a job well done.   
      People started to come in, yawning and looking for coffee while chatting lazily. I considered hanging around and greeting Levi, Hanji and everyone else but I decided against it. Today was for the recruits and I wanted to get things ready for later. So I stood and headed for the Arena, which Erwin had booked out for me yesterday, and opened the store cupboard. The store cupboard was filled with stuff that we’d probably never ever use but we didn’t want to get rid of. There’d once been something called ‘gymnastics’ a few years before I joined the Scouts, so there were pummel horses, springboards, crash mats and even trampolines in there. We wouldn’t be using that stuff today, but maybe another day. I had to fight my way through cleaning equipment, broken bookcases and sports apparatus before I found what I was looking for. I had to take each weapon off of the rack and pile them outside the cupboard before I could carry the rack out. I arranged the weapons back on the rack and wheeled it to the middle where it would wait for us after our climbing. There were a lot of weapons and they were such things as: spears, knives, swords, bows and arrows, slings and axes. They all varied in size and, if I’m honest, I had no idea why we had them. But they’d come in useful. I’d never used an axe or a sling before, so I didn’t feel too confident about showing them how to use those… The others would be fine though; I wasn’t too shabby with a bow and arrow, I’d had six years to perfect using the swords (as uncomfortable as they were in combat) and I was raised using a spear and a knife. I was pretty much set as far as weapons and self defence go. Hesitantly, I placed my spear and knife next to the rack, leaning them against the wall and I marched out, locking the door behind me and moving towards the courtyard. Glancing at the trees, I could see that spare blades and the green cloaks had been set out by the Tall Trees, just as I had requested. _You have authority here, you seem to forget that._  
      It took them another twenty minutes or so to arrive and they were coming in by a trickle. About three of them would arrive at a time and I was beginning to get impatient. _It’s their first day_. I suppose. When at last they all stood before me, I stood to attention. They did the same, arranged in a line again. Connie avoided my eyes and my gut twinged in guilt.   
      “Scouts.” I greeted.   
      “Ma’am!” They responded with a salute.   
      “At ease.” They relaxed and smiled at me cheerfully. I blinked at them, taken aback by their sudden joy. It was eight in the morning and they were looking forward to today? Odd.   
      “We’ve got a long day today. I’ve got a lot in store for our training and we’ve only got a month to do it. Once we go on our expedition, you’ll be armed with the knowledge of surviving outside the walls and you’ll stand a better chance if you’re separated or confronted with bandits. Today, we’ll be climbing and focusing on combat. I’ve got a little… surprise, I suppose, after our climbing, but that’ll be in a few hours time. Are you all ready to learn?”   
      “Yeah!” The majority of them cheered; Mikasa and Ymir only nodded and people like Reiner and Jean grinned determinedly.   
      “Excellent. Follow me then.” I led the way, feeling like a primary school teacher on a school trip, and they trailed behind me, talking animatedly as they went.   
      “We’re doing climbing, I’m seriously looking forward to this!” Sasha gushed.   
      “Yeah, even in the Cadets, we only did a little bit of climbing.” Krista noted.   
      “What’re we gonna climb though? Trees?” Eren asked.   
      “Well, the outside _is_ mostly trees, Eren.” Jean mocked.   
      “Actually, there’s more open space than anything else on the outside, Jean.” I piped up, glancing over my shoulder at my students. “The forests are dense and huge, sure, but there’s more meadows and flat ground than anything else.”   
      “Dude, you just got told.” Connie sniggered.   
      “Shut up, Springer!” We arrived at the training grounds.   
      “Alright, alright, enough fighting, boys.” I defused. “We’ll be climbing these first.” They all looked at the flat buildings, the very same ones that I had climbed on my first training day. “We won’t be using the 3DMG today, as you can see.”   
      “You want us to climb wooden planks?” Jean deadpanned, suddenly disappointed.   
      “Yes. Is something wrong, Jean?” I asked, looking at him pointedly.   
      “N-no!” He stammered.   
      “Good. As you can see, these are simple wooden boards that look like the average building you’d find in a district or an abandoned settlement outside the wall. The window sills, doors, the roofs and the attachments are the only things that aren’t flat. You’ll be scaling the flat buildings today and then we’ll move onto the trees.”   
      “You want us to climb this… freestyle?” Reiner questioned, pausing a little.   
      “Precisely. Your maneuver gear won’t always be able to get you out of tight jams. What if your gas ran out or your compressor broke and you were stranded on the ground?” He didn’t respond. “Obviously these are modelled off of houses throughout the districts around the walls, but the lessons you learn from climbing these remain the same. Show me what you guys can do. Reiner, why don’t you start us off?”   
      “Gah, what?” He spluttered.   
      “Just try to climb it. Try and get yourself onto the roof.”   
      “But won’t it fall? It doesn’t look strong enough!”   
      “Trust me, it’s fine. The plank is weighted at the back to keep it standing ever since we had a huge storm here during training.” The squad looked at me with interest.   
      “A storm? What happened?”   
      “Long story short, lightning struck and the wind pushed the thing over*. It wasn’t fun.”   
      “Jeez…” Eren muttered.   
      “Yep. Now go on, Reiner, it’s perfectly safe. Climb it as if you’ve got no 3DMG and you’re stranded, bearing in mind that there may be a Titan right behind you or one may have spotted you and is approaching.” He paled a little but nodded. He was better than the first two soldiers had been on my first day. He climbed by the windows and he scaled it quickly; Reiner was probably the strongest one of the group. He sat on the roof, arms shaking slightly with the adrenaline.   
      “How was that?” He called down.   
      “That was good. You did it quickly and efficiently. If I had to give you a note for improvement, I’d say not to stick to just climbing up the building. Try to be unpredictable and climb diagonally instead.” He nodded. “Good. Now come down.” He swung down from the roof and lowered himself bit by bit from the windows. “Alright. Bertholdt, why don’t you give it a try?” He sweated but nodded. Each of them went up and, I’m glad to say, that every single one of them got to the roof (though this was only the first building). I’ll admit that I was surprised that Armin and Krista made it up there but Armin was surprisingly quick and Krista reminded me a little of Dana in the way that she climbed; fast but cautious. Mikasa was by far the fastest and I was beginning to understand why they had immediately placed her as the most capable soldier in our little exercise the day before.   
      “You guys have done a lot better than I would have thought.” Some of them looked a little offended and I blushed a little. “When I first became a Scout,” I explained quickly, “hardly anyone was any good at climbing. There were probably only twenty people who could climb these buildings and only about six of us could do it quickly enough. Either you guys are especially talented at climbing or the training for Cadets has gotten better. Maybe both, who knows? Let’s move on.” We continued on to the next building and the next and the next (all of the group clearing them and slowly getting faster and faster at climbing), until we reached the final one. This was the one that had fallen in the storm* and you could tell; the roof was still a little broken. This building was the four storey one with the tiny ledges and the roof that jutted out, mimicking an official military building.   
      “That… looks a little more difficult to climb…” Eren stared at the board.   
      “It is.” I assured him with a smile. “Off you go then, Reiner.” Once again, he was very quick and with his strength and height, he managed to leap from the window straight to the roof without having to turn around or use the hidden ledge. I watched, impressed, as the others made it as well. _They really are an astonishing bunch._ Indeed. Mikasa had found the ledge and had used it to pull herself up, Eren and Jean managing to use it as well. Sasha and Connie leaped for the roof and barely held on by the tips of their fingers. Bertholdt, because of his insane height, could practically reach out and grab the roof. Krista, like Dana, turned around and jumped out to grab it, barely getting a grip on it but managed to pull herself up anyway. Armin did something else that I’d never seen someone do. He didn’t stop at the top window and then jump for the roof; instead, he ran up the side of the top window and kicked off the wall, grabbing the roof with ease and climbing up quickly. When he got down, he seemed embarrassed at my shocked look.   
      “I’ve never seen anyone do that before and that really worked, Armin. How’d you think of that?”   
      “Uh, I… It just seemed like the best way to get the momentum to jump for the roof.”   
      “Well, that’s… a brilliant tactic. Well done, Armin.” He rubbed his neck bashfully but took the compliment, to my delight. “Alright, you all managed to clear every single building and fairly quickly as well. That’s good - you’re better than most of the Scouts from my first day.”   
      “Are any of those guys still alive though?” Mikasa questioned, looking at me imploringly. The cheerful atmosphere was lost, but it was probably a good thing. _You’re getting attached._  
      “No. As far as I know, less than twenty Scouts have survived the six years that Levi and I have been here.” I decided they should know the truth. “That’s Commander Erwin, Hanji Zoe, Mike Zacharius, Nanaba, your previous instructor Keith Shardis, Captain Levi and myself. There’s a few others but they’re not as cool as us.” I finished up, beckoning for them to follow me to the trees. “Come on. We’re here.” I watched them carefully as they observed the trees they’d be climbing. When they went up to climb the trees, I was, once again, surprised at how agile they all were (though Armin was the slowest by far). Sasha seemed to have a sixth sense for climbing the trees and I made a mental note to ask her how she acquired it. When we moved onto the Tall Tree (or big ass tree), everyone’s confidence dropped.   
      “Don’t panic.” I quickly assured them. “You can climb this tree. It’ll take a lot of willpower and strength though. I’ll show you all first.” Since I had left my spear and knife in the arena for our combat training, I’d have to resort to using the swords, though they’d be better to demonstrate with. I attached the cloak, grabbed the twin swords and stood in front of the tree. It was a _very_ tall tree.   
      “Obviously if you’ve got gas in your 3DMG, you won’t have to resort to this. Unless you were already running on fumes, you should be able to scale the tree with the maneuver gear. But, if you’re out of gas or if your compressor is broken, you’ll have to rely on your blades and strength. This _is_ difficult and I’m not going to expect you all to be able to do this first try. If you can, that’s bloody brilliant, but if you can’t, don’t worry. We’ll work something out.” Armin noticeably relaxed at that. “It’s actually pretty simple in movement, it’s just getting strong enough to get high enough to save yourself from Titans. Admittedly, it’s easier with a spear, but it’s more likely you’ll be stuck with these than the spear, since you may lose the spear but not the blades.” I readied myself, facing the trunk. “Watch carefully. I’m going to go for the lowest branches which will save you from thirteen metres and smaller.”   
      I crouched a little before sprinting at the tree and running up it, stabbing one blade into the bark. I forced the other blade in as far above it as I could before yanking it out and continuing my ascent. It reminded me a little of when I reached the top of the bar on my second day, having to pull the bar up all forty levels before dropping again. I recalled the pain in my shoulders and neck the next day when I lay in the infirmary and grimaced. I wouldn’t strain myself this time; I’d been exercising like this ever since then - I’d trained my muscles to withstand the strenuousness. Even so, my arms were throbbing by the time I reached the branches I had set as my target and I hoisted myself up, trying not to breathe too heavily.   
      “So… there you go. It’s bloody hard work but by the time we’re finished in a month, almost all of you will be able to do this and the rest will have a back up plan. So, by all means… Give it a try.” None of them stepped forward. “Am I going to have to choose someone?” They shuffled sheepishly a little. “Oh, for… Mikasa, why don’t you try it out? Grab two swords, put on the cloak and meet me up here.” She only paused for a moment but she obeyed. She was quicker than I thought she’d be, but she’d impressed me in every way today so I shouldn’t have been surprised. I was looking forward to combat with her. When she reached me, she was clearly straining and physically exhausted but she, like me, hid it as well as she could. She tugged her scarf over her mouth and I pretended not to notice her heavy breathing from behind it, just as she pretended not to notice my shaking arms as I patted her gently on the shoulder.   
      “I didn’t doubt you for a second.” I muttered reassuringly and she nodded, her shoulders still heaving with her breaths.   
      “Thank you.” She murmured back. I hadn’t expected a reply but I was shockingly happy that I got one. I looked down at the rest of the group.   
      “Who’s next?” I called. “How about you, Connie?” Even from where I was, I could see his cheeks go pink. Was he still embarrassed about last night? Levi had been a bit of a dick, and when I say ‘a bit’... He was clearly struggling about halfway but he pressed on, almost falling near the end. I yanked him up before he collapsed and he lay on the branch, gasping for breath and resting his arms.   
      “So, as you can see, it’s hard.” I said cheerily to the rest of the group. “Ymir? Give it a try.” Ymir made it sooner than Connie but definitely wasn’t as quick as Mikasa. Sasha was also very quick, almost as quick as Mikasa, and Eren was so determined that he almost beat her, despite his blades blunting less than halfway up. The rest of them were relatively average, though the fact that they made it at all was wonderful. Only Armin and Krista didn’t manage to make it.   
      “Don’t worry, you two,” I comforted, “we’ll figure something out for you two. In the meantime, you’ll keep training to make it to the top. I have every confidence in you both. Give us a minute to get down.” While Armin and Krista sat down and relaxed, I turned back to those who had made it. “Getting down is a lot simpler. If you manage to refill the cannisters, you can always use the gear to escape or do whatever you deem best. If your blades blunt, like Eren’s, or even break, you need to replace them quickly. If you’ve run out of blades, you’ll have to use someone else’s, or else you’ll be useless. If you’re _both_ out… Use a flare gun and sit tight. Someone will be dispatched to rescue you with supplies. But, continuing with our no-gas scenario, we have to get down without use of the gear. Don’t be scared and don’t panic. Watch what I do.” I dropped my blades to the floor, to their surprise, and I jumped off the branch.   
      “RHIA!” A bunch of voices shouted my name and others yelped in shock. I loosened the tie on my cloak and grabbed the hem, the cloak leaving my body and acting as a parachute. I glided to the ground, certainly not slowly, but hopefully quite gracefully. When I reached a safe height, I pulled the cloak down and dropped to the floor, rolling and then rising to my feet again. I turned back to them and smiled.   
      “Simple. Mikasa.” She was still recovering from shock and the exercise but, after some disapproval from Eren, she threw her blades away and followed me down. She was far more graceful than I was, it has to be said. She dropped gently and landed perfectly on her feet. I smiled in approval and the others soon followed. Bertholdt was quite clumsy in the air which was almost adorable.   
      “Your cloaks aren’t just there to keep you warm and dry. It takes a bit of maneuvering but it’ll save your life.” I explained as everyone gathered around. “Looks like our climbing is done here. We’re heading to the Arena next for your sort of surprise.” They followed me as I led the way to the Arena. When I unlocked the door and led them in, they all stared at the weapon rack in the centre of the room.   
      “Ta da.” I said monotonously. “Relying solely on your swords in a battle with humans is not recommended. Therefore, you guys can pick your own weapon to train with.” We approached the rack and I picked up my spear and knife. “These are my weapons. The spear is one of the best weapons that I can recommend. It’s agile, it helps with climbing and you can use it keep people at a certain distance. The knife,” I unsheathed it for them, “is a curved blade, causing maximum damage to a person and it also aids me in climbing. The edge is slightly serrated as well so it can help with odd jobs.” I handed them to Sasha and they were passed around. “On this rack, we have knives, spears, a bow,” Sasha perked up at that, “swords, we have a sling and an axe or two. I, personally, recommend using the weapons with a blade. Axes may be awkward to wield and slings are difficult to aim, but in the end, it’s up to you. You can pick one weapon but if there’s enough to go round, you can take a knife too.” No-one was using the weapons in the cupboard so they may as well have them, right? “Go ahead and take what you want. No bickering, Eren and Jean.” They looked a little sheepish but everyone chose their weapons. I took my spear and knife back and watched them choose. Sasha immediately went for the bow and arrows. Mikasa went for a knife that was similar to my own but, rather than having a clip-point, she had a trailing-point. Reiner grabbed a hatchet and Bertholdt took a light shortsword. Eren took my advice and chose a spear, one that was slightly longer than mine, whilst Armin took a small knife with a serrated edge. Connie had a sword of his own and Jean did the same. Ymir decided on an axe as well and Krista ended up with a knife similar to Armin’s.   
      “Alright, so you’ve all chosen your weapons.” I announced when they’d stopped chattering about their decisions. “I’ll be honest here; I’ve not used all of these weapons before. I’ve never used an axe before, so I may not be much help to you, Reiner and Ymir.” I confessed. “The bow and arrows… I’m not the best at that either, but, judging by your adamance on getting it, Sasha, I’d wager you’re pretty familiar with it already?” Sasha nodded, absent-mindedly stroking the feather on an arrow.   
      “I was raised in a hunting village.” She explained.   
      “Well, that explains why you were so good at the climbing on the trees.” I muttered. “Those of you who went for a sword, it’s very similar to how you’d use your 3DMG blades, only these swords are double-edged. These ones aren’t strong enough to cut down a Titan but they’re sharp enough to kill a man. The knives will take some practice to get used to, so I’ll be working with Mikasa, Armin and Krista closely for that. Eren, you were the only one who went for a spear, so I’ll be able to give your proper independent lessons on how to use that. Any questions?” None of them seemed to have any. “Alright then. We’ll get working on the weapons tomorrow. Today, however, I’d like to see your hand to hand combat skills please. Put your weapons aside; you can take those away with you after. Line up on this line when you’ve done that.” I waited patiently as they put their weapons on the side and lined up in front of me. “Hand to hand is incredibly important when you’re on the outside and, shockingly, on the inside too. If we’re lucky, our expedition in a month’s time will have no encounters with bandits. In my experience, however, they always turn up eventually. I’ve been on a total of thirteen expeditions and they’ve only missed out on ruining two of them.” I started pacing up and down.   
      “Keith Shadis, Erwin’s predecessing Commander and your instructor for your trainee years, will have taught you some basic hand to hand training. I want to see what you can all do. All you have to do is try to incapacitate me. Questions?” Armin raised his hand.   
      “Do we use a wooden knife? With the instructor, we had to disarm and disable.” That sounded relatively new to me.   
      “I don’t have a wooden knife on me and I’m not sure I want to give you guys a real blade for this. I’m not saying that you’ll hurt me or yourselves, I just mean that for now, I’d like to stick with the basic stuff. Any other questions?” No-one spoke. “Alright then. Armin, would you like to go first?”   
      “U-uh…”   
      “Don’t be scared. All it is sparring. Get me on the ground and unable to move and you win.”   
      “W-will you go easy on me?” He looked quite afraid of going up against me. His eyes were wide and he looked a little nervous. _He’s been bullied_. My heart swelled with sympathy and I suddenly wanted to hug him.   
      “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Armin. I need you to be the best that you can be. But I’m going to help you get stronger, okay?” After a moment, he nodded with a grim determination. _Aww…_ He stepped out of the line and we stood opposite each other, both of us in fighting stances.   
      “Alright? Let’s go, Armin.” We circled each other for a few seconds and I could see the hesitation before he tried to hurry in and punch me. He was quick and nimble but his pause gave me enough to dodge. I cracked my elbow into his and flipped him over. He gasped as he hit the floor, winded. _Keep him going_.   
      “I need you to dodge, Armin!” I ordered, raising my leg to stamp on his stomach. He got the message and rolled out of the way, surprising me with a kick up to my chin. I staggered back and he came in again with another punch. I grabbed his wrist and twisted him around, his arm bent behind him as he sank to his knees. He couldn’t move without causing pain in his shoulder.   
      “I’m done!” He yelped. I let go of his arm quickly and he massaged his shoulder, getting to his feet.   
      “Do you understand why I asked you to dodge, Armin?” He nodded.   
      “I can’t give up so soon in a fight. You needed me to prove that I could keep fighting, even if I was in pain or out of breath.” He was intelligent and I smiled.   
      “Precisely. I’m glad you got the message. You did well. Go on, back to the line. Keep rolling your shoulder and I’ll teach you that hold at some point.” He returned to his comrades quite cheerfully and continued to exercise his shoulder. “Bertholdt?” He started sweating a little but he walked over to me. He absolutely towered over me.   
      “How tall are you?” I questioned, awe seeping into my voice.

“I’m six foot three.” He replied nervously.

“Bloody hell… Right, this could be interesting. Let’s go then.” I backed away and went into defensive immediately. My jump and kick _definitely_ wouldn’t work with Bertholdt. He was bloody _huge_. I’d have to use my height to my advantage. He approached and swiped at my neck quickly and I barely managed to block it before he whipped his leg in and kicked my ribs. I inhaled sharply and shoved his foot away, ducking quickly and sliding between his lanky legs. Being small would have to be the way to win here. Of course, if he could best me, that would be bloody incredible, but I’m supposed to test them to their limits, right? He turned quickly and tried to kick again but I rolled out of the way and sent my foot into his knee. He yelped in pain and I dropped, swinging my foot around and catching both his ankles. His feet went out from beneath him and he yelled again, crashing into the ground. His height wasn’t doing him any favours on the floor and I got him into a chokehold easily. His face went pink from lack of air and he tapped the ground. I released him and he breathed heavily, staggering to his feet.   
      “Are you okay?” I asked him when he was breathing more or less normally again. He nodded.   
      “Yeah… Yeah.” He was sweating again.   
      “That was good, Bertholdt. Fighting people your size probably ends better for you, though. I’m remarkably small so you need to improve on how you’ll fight people who are less than five foot five.” I remarked jokingly. “Reiner? Come and give it a go?” He grinned and stepped forwards. He was a big guy, mostly in muscle, but he was the second tallest only to Bertholdt. His size reminded me vaguely of Jayden. Reiner was strong, very strong, and he nearly got me trapped between his huge arms. I’d managed to wriggle out, however, and aimed a hefty kick into his shin. Once Reiner had been beaten, Ymir stepped forward. She seemed pretty bored but she kept outrageously flirting with Krista, which I found quite cute and amusing, especially when Krista went pink and rubbed her neck sheepishly. _Why are they all so darn cute?_ Ymir wasn’t as good as Bertholdt but she was flexible, managing to get her foot high into the air. She did a freaking cartwheel to dodge at some point, which was pretty impressive. Eventually she went down. Krista was quick, just like Armin, but she was more afraid to punch me. In the end, I had grab her hands and force her to punch me. When I saw that we were getting nowhere, I sent her back to the line (“Krista, we’re gonna need to work on that.”) and Sasha stepped up. She was also very quick and she had the uncanny ability to predict what my next move was. I had to use the jump-kick on her to bring her down.   
      “Sasha, eventually, you’re going to tell me how you sharpened your senses so well.” I complimented, helping her up. She shrugged with a grin and Eren took her place. Eren was stubborn and wouldn’t stay down, much like Hanji. He was strong as well; his fists really packed a punch. I had to kick his legs out from beneath him to bring him down. On the ground, Eren wasn’t so proficient. We’d have to work on that, I guess. Jean volunteered after Eren and I noticed the three second staring match between the two of them as they passed each other. To make a point, I beat Jean very quickly.   
      “What did I say yesterday?” I crossed my arms at Jean as he sat up, rubbing his head.   
      “What?”   
      “What did I say yesterday about the two of you?” I looked at Eren as well. “Well?”   
      “Uh…”   
      “No rivalries. We don’t have the luxury for things like that in here. _Deal with it_.” _Hypocrite_. Shut up. As Jean went back to his place, Connie came up. He was fast and agile but he didn’t seem to have the attention span to know when I was about to hit him or not, which was a shame. When I flipped him over and sat on him to do the chokehold, he went very pink again. _Damn you, Levi_. He tapped out and I stood up, helping Connie up. He rushed back to the line and kept his head bowed, though I could still see his red face. Poor Connie. Finally, Mikasa came up.   
      “Am I to be worried, Mikasa?” I asked with a slight smile. “From what I gather, you’re the best fighter here.”   
      “I do what I can.” She replied, a tinge of amusement in her eyes.   
      “Shall we, then?”

“We shall.” This was going to be fun. We were both on the defensive and it seemed like neither of us were going to crack any time soon. To change it up a bit, I decided I’d make the first move. I made three quick steps towards her and kicked my leg out towards her head. She was almost a head taller than me but I managed it. She blocked it with ease and drove her elbow into my ankle, knocking it aside. Mikasa then grabbed my shoulder and tugged me in, going for a punch to my jaw. I shoved her hand off and ducked my head down, turning around so my back was towards her and driving my own elbow into her collarbone. She’d managed to take half a step back but it still made its mark, albeit one that was not as painful as it would have been had she stayed put. As revenge, she kicked the back of my knee, sending me to my knees. Her arm wrapped around my neck and for the first time, I panicked. _She’s definitely good_. I pushed my head back, hoping to headbutt her, but she’d anticipated that. Using my momentum, I threw my head forwards instead and flipped us over. Her arm loosened and I rolled away, going to stamp on her stomach but she was already rising to her feet. She grabbed my foot and pulled it towards her, punching the side of my knee and going to hit my gut too. I just about managed to block the punch to my gut but my knee was burning with pain and my ribs were still in agony from almost being squeezed to death by Reiner. I kicked my leg free and took a few paces back, going into the defensive again. Mikasa seemed to prefer being in the defensive, so I’d have to see if I could bait her into going aggressive. She was painstakingly patient though. It took me about forty seconds to realise that she wasn’t going to take the bait. _You’re getting slow_. Being thirty three does that to you. _Remember when you beat Levi all those years ago? Remember the move you used?_ The thigh-hold? I hadn’t used that in a while… I’d only used it three more times since my fight with Levi and none of those times were recent… What if I fucked up?

_I made the decision and sprinted towards him. I was about to jump when he kicked out._ Use it to push yourself up _. Thanks to that voice, I managed to jump and kick off of his leg to give me the momentum to close my legs around his neck. I didn’t catch his expression and I felt his hands rise to my hips to try and shove me off, but, thanks to the extra momentum his leg gave me, I twisted and flipped him over, though I did land on top of him. Before he could react, I moved down and trapped his wrists beneath my knees and pushed my hands down on his throat, enough for him to struggle to breathe a little._

      That had been one of the scariest moments of my life, to be honest. The thought of killing _anyone_ in that situation made me feel awful but the thought of killing _Levi_ made me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, in that moment, I had managed to close my thighs around his neck and not my knees, resulting in my decking him and not breaking his neck. But if I killed Mikasa? What would I do? What would everyone else do? Was it worth the risk? I could handle being beaten by Mikasa. She was talented and badass too. _You’re supposed to test her to her limits. Giving up isn’t going to teach her_. That was true. I shrugged internally and sprinted towards her. Please don’t let me kill her… She hadn’t been expecting my sudden action and didn’t have any time to defend herself before I was leaping into the air and wrapping my legs around her neck. _Those are your knees!_ SHIT! _WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?_ My knees were at her neck and if I made a twitch, I’d kill her. Time seemed to have slowed down. Though in reality it was happening blurringly fast, for me, it was like moving at a snail’s pace. I could see the panic in her eyes and undoubtedly, she could see the panic in my own. Her scarf was the only thing between my knees and her neck but it wouldn’t save her. Nothing could. She closed her eyes. Acceptance? I closed mine.   
       _You will not kill her. Don’t move your knees. Move your legs instead. Relax your back and bring your legs towards you but DO NOT move your knees. Your momentum will bring her closer and to the floor. Once she’s on the bottom and still dropping, you can release her and land on your feet, immediately sitting on her and keeping her down. Do it. Don’t kill her._

      My eyes sprang open and I relaxed, my back no longer horizontal and for a moment, I was suspended vertically. I brought my legs in and as she went flying over me, I could see her eyes open in shock. Gravity took its toll and she naturally fell from my grip. My feet landed on the ground as her back did and I sank down, my hand at her throat. I laid no pressure on it, still recovering from the surprise, and she made no move to bat my hand away and turn the tables. We sat and stared at each other until she nodded. I stood and helped her up.   
      “Are you okay?” I murmured, my hands landing shakily on her shoulders. I expected her to shove them off me. I expected her to push me away and shout at me for nearly killing her. I expected her to hate me and hit me back. But, for whatever reason, she didn’t. Instead, she looked at me, her eyes wide with an almost childish awe and her mouth hanging open a little.   
      “Will you teach me that?” She asked. I stepped away, taken aback. I’d nearly killed her and she wanted me to teach her the very move that nearly broke her neck?  _You almost killed her...  
      _“I-I-I… I don’t…” How could she want to even look at me!? She continued to watch me and I could see the hope in her eyes and some confusion. Why is she confused?   
      “Rhia?” She said, almost timidly.   
      “I-I can’t…” I looked at the others. They were watching us, their eyes wide and mouths open as well.  _You almost broke her neck... She's a child...  
      _“Please?” My gaze switched back to Mikasa. She had taken a step forwards, towards me. How could she stand to see me?   
      “That’s enough for today.” My voice cracked. “You can take your weapons away with you. Dismissed.” I turned away from them all and stormed out of the Arena, my face burning in shame and fury. Ordinarily, I would have gone to Levi’s office to do some more paperwork or, given the time, gone to get dinner. But I couldn’t face going in there. Eventually, _they_ would go in there to eat. They would all hate me. Mikasa’s behaviour had confused me but my sudden dismissal and refusal to teach her the move would anger her and cause her to loathe me as well. I walked straight past the cafeteria. I know that I didn’t actually kill her but the point is that I almost _did_. If it hadn’t have been for the sudden epiphany, Mikasa’s body would be on the floor, her neck crooked at a horrifying angle and the rest of the group staring in horror what I’d done. Eren was close to Mikasa, they were practically siblings. If I had murdered Mikasa, Eren would detest me and try to kill me then and there. Who knows, maybe he would have turned into his Titan form and crushed me? Or eaten me? Would the others have held him back? Tried to stop him? Would they cry immediately for the loss of Mikasa? Or would they stand still, too horrified to even move? Or maybe they’d just watch as Eren killed me, happy for the revenge?   
      “Outsider.” Fuck. Jayden Holf stood in my way to the staircase leading to the roof.   
      “Get the fuck out of my way.” I growled menacingly, not even the slightest bit in the mood for an argument with him.   
      “Or what? You gonna try and beat me up? You gonna call Erwin or that freak scientist? You gonna shout for help for you midget boyfriend?” Fucking hell, was he always this irritating?   
      “You know, I love that you say ‘ _try_ and beat me up’. It implies that you haven’t gotten it into your thick skull that you’ve never beaten me in a fight.” His eyes narrowed.   
      “I beat you that one time, though, didn’t I? In that room, surrounded by people who hated you, didn’t I? You remember the pain?” He unsheathed his knife, light glinting off its fine edge. “You remember this slicing up your back?”   
      “I think the scars you left me with do the job well enough without you pulling it out. It is a _very_ big knife. Overcompensating for something, are we?” I said with a dark smirk.   
      “You fucking-”   
      “Fuck off.” I said and pushed past him, already out of sight by the time he turned around.   
      “One of these fucking days-” I heard distantly but I ignored him, continuing on my way. I came to the door to the roof and I pushed it open, breathing heavily as I shut it and collapsed on the wall, laying on my back. My left leg propped up at an angle and my right leg hung casually off the wall as I stared at the sky directly above me. The clouds were going orange with the sunset, like yesterday, and the sky was fading from a faint blue to a light orange, growing steadily more vibrant as it got closer to the setting sun. I’d watched the sky countless times before, inside the walls and outside, but it never ceased to amaze me. When I died, I wanted to be able to see the sky, no matter where I was. If I was dying in the hospital or somewhere inside, I’d insist on being taken outside, preferably here so I could watch the sky with every fleeting breath until my eyes closed. But I wouldn’t want the sky to be the last thing I’d see before my life left me. I wanted familiar faces around me, because I’m an affectionate sap. I wanted Hanji and Erwin and Mika and Nanaba and even Moblit (despite not knowing him well) to be there. I wanted Eren and Armin and Mikasa and everyone else in the Arena to be there, even if they hated me. I wanted Keith and Krestian to be there too, as they always reminded me of a simpler time when we didn’t have to worry about breaches or Titan shifters or corruption within the military. Most of all, though, I wanted Levi to be there. The one person who would stick beside me no matter what; who had proved themselves to be an ally and a friend countless times; who had never left me alone without the promise of coming back and who had never kept secrets from me (at least, not for very long). Maybe he’d let me kiss him, as my dying wish. Unlikely though. As long as he held my hand as I died, I’d be okay.   
      And then I’d be with everyone I’d lost. I’d see Dana and Harry again after all this time, still being supportive and smiling at me. Isabel and Farlan would be waiting, probably already arguing with each other about who’d greet me first, and I’d hug them both instead because _god I really missed them_. I’d get to apologise to everyone who I had let die since 844, including the squad leader I’d never known the name of. I’d get to see Greyjoy again and stroke and ride him and feed him and hug him and fall asleep next to him again. He’d look pointedly at the tooth around my neck and I’d simply shrug because what did he expect? We’d be able to hunt again and just have fun. And, most important of all, I’d get to see Mum and Dad again. I couldn’t remember Dad’s face anymore and that prompted tears to rise but not to fall. I couldn’t remember whether his face was kind and soft or stern and rugged. I couldn’t remember if his voice was like a lullaby or like gravel. I couldn’t remember if his hugs were tight and secure or gentle and loving. But he’d be waiting for me still. I know it. As for Mum… I could remember her as clear as rainwater. Her eyes shimmered and were a deep brown with long lashes. Her hair was brown as well and she kept it short, almost like a boy’s cut, to stop it from being a hinderance. Mum was tall, taller than me and definitely taller than Dad. She always used to say that I looked more like my Dad than I looked like her. Whenever I looked in the mirror, I saw nothing that sparked a memory of him. I simply saw me. And that was one of the most disappointing things ever. I wiped my eyes quickly, just in case I did suddenly have a crying fit. I really didn’t want one right now. I hadn’t turned up to dinner and I hadn’t eaten since early in the morning. My stomach growled and I sighed. I’d go down later. My absence would have been noticed by now downstairs. It was only a matter of time until Levi came up to find out why I wasn’t eating.   
      “You’ve been coming up here a lot lately.” Speak of the devil and he shall appear.   
      “Things have been difficult lately.” I murmured. I turned to the left to look at him. He wasn’t wearing his jacket and his sleeves were rolled up. _Well, he’s looking fine as per usual._ Hm _. Really not in the mood, are you?_ Piss off _._  
      “What’s happened?” He asked, walking over and sitting by my head, his back to the sunset. His front was now bathed in shadow but he still looked fucking gorgeous. _There we go._    
      “I had the lesson with the new soldiers. Everything was going well. They did great at the climbing and using the cloaks to fall safely. We were getting along, even when we got into the fighting. They’re all good at it, by the way.” I informed him. “Krista needs to work on it, though, that’s for sure. Anyway, it came down to Mikasa and she was really good. Good like us good, I mean. She almost got me a few times, actually. In the end, I used that move on her, you know, the one I used on you ages ago?”   
      “When you wrapped your thighs around me and trapped me beneath you?” He glanced at me. Fucking hell. _He’s doing it to cheer you up. Flirting makes you happy and he knows that._ He’s such a fucking sweetheart, someone help me. I blushed and covered my face.   
      “ _Yes_ , Levi, _that_ move.” I grumbled from behind my hands.   
      “Go on.” I removed my hands but avoided eye contact.   
      “I… I used that move and… it went wrong.” He blinked down at me. “When I used it on you, it was my thighs at your neck, and that was how I managed to pull you over. But there’s another way to do it. If I got my knees at your neck and jerked them, I’d have broken your neck.” His eyes widened a fraction. “That’s why I was so shocked that I’d managed to do it. It had gone wrong once before and I’d killed someone instead of putting them on the ground. I’m fucking thankful that I didn’t kill you, by the way. Earlier today, though, my knees were at Mikasa’s throat and… we both knew what was going to happen.” I could feel a lump forming in my throat so I sat up quickly and gripped my legs, swallowing hard. “We both seemed to just… give up. We were going to let it happen. But… Something made me try something different. I managed to pull her down without moving me knees and I managed to beat her but…” It took me a few moments to continue. “When I made sure she was okay, can you even guess what she did next?”   
      “What?”   
      “She asked me to _teach the move to her_.”   
      “So?” I whipped around to stare at him incredulously.   
      “Are you fucking kidding me? ‘So’!? SO, I almost KILLED her!” I shrieked. “How can she ask me that? How can she even bear to look at me!? I’m-I’m fucking scum for even attempt-”   
      “Don’t you dare say that.” His sudden interruption made me blink.   
      “What?”   
      “Don’t say you’re scum, stupid, didn’t you hear me?” I stared at him. “You’re not scum, not even a little bit, and if you are then we all are. Fucking listen, okay? Don’t call yourself that and stop moping around. You’re acting like you’re fucking constipated or something. So I didn’t tell you immediately about that dream, so what? So you can’t stop thinking about everyone who’s died, so what? So you almost killed a soldier today, so what? So you can’t forgive yourself, so what? We _deal_ with it. We get past it and keep going on with our lives or however long we’ve got left of those. Get over yourself and we can deal with this together.” Levi is not a very talkative fellow, I feel I should mention that again. Having a speech from him is uncommon but not unheard of. But having a speech like that? He glowered at me for another second or so before turning away, his cheeks a delicate pink.   
      “That came out of nowhere.” I mused aloud, trying not to show my shock.   
      “Shut up.” He grunted.   
      “It’s endearing really.”   
      “Shut up.”   
      “I’m not messing around here, Levi.” He glanced at me. “It’s nice to know that you care, even if it’s in a backwards way like that. I’ve never been told that I’m constipated before though, that’s a new one on me.”   
      “Tch.”   
      “I needed that though. I’ve been acting like an idiot for the past few weeks and I’ve been moping around feeling sorry for myself. I’m sorry for that. I’ve been acting selfish.”   
      “You haven’t been acting selfish, stupid, you’ve been acting human. It’s natural for you to have a few low days. But a few weeks is a little excessive.”   
      “I guess.” I sighed. “I’m going to talk to Erwin later about this. I don’t think I’m cut out for teaching.”   
      “You’re gonna give up?” I rolled my eyes at him.   
      “I’m not giving up. I just don’t think I’m the best teacher for them and today is a pretty good example of that. I’ll ask Erwin to post someone else as the teacher.”   
      “If you’re sure.” I sighed and shrugged.   
      “I don’t trust myself to do this. I might as well go and tell him now.”   
      “I’ll come too. Here, eat this.” He handed me a roll of bread.   
      “Where was this? I didn’t notice you holding it earlier…”   
      “Just eat the fucking bread.”   
      “Yes, dear.” God, I love him. I nibbled at it as we headed inside and set off for Erwin’s office. As we descended the stairs, we passed the point where Jayden had confronted me.   
      “Jayden spoke to me earlier, by the way.” I spoke up. “He didn’t have anything worthwhile to say though.”   
      “The usual then.”   
      “Mm. All he did was try to block my way and threaten to beat me up.”   
      “One of these days, he’ll mysteriously fall down five flights of stairs and impale himself. Just you wait.” I laughed as he smirked.   
      “I look forward to that day.” We walked on in silence until we reached Erwin’s office. “Are you coming in with me?”   
      “I’ll wait out here.” Levi said as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. My eyes lingered on his sleeves tightening on his arms and I tore them away to knock and enter the office. As I closed the door, Erwin’s head rose to look at me.   
      “Rhia.” He seemed somewhat surprised by my visit. “What can I do for you?” I sighed and wrung my hands and approached.   
      “I think you should reconsider making me their teacher.” I admitted. He frowned gently and leaned forward, giving me his full attention.   
      “Has something happened?” I snorted.   
      “Just a bit, yeah. Today was good except for the last part, during some sparring. Mikasa and I were fighting and a move went wrong. I nearly killed her. I’m not even sure how I didn’t break her neck but somehow I managed to stop. I don’t trust myself around them anymore.” I explained as professionally as I could.   
      “That must have been hard for you.” I blinked.   
      “Mikasa asked me to teach her the move that almost killed her. I can’t… allow myself to teach her or any of them anymore. I can’t allow myself to get close to them. So I’d like you to assign someone else. Please.” Erwin watched me for a few seconds before nodding.   
      “If you’re certain then by all means, I’ll assign someone else tomorrow. Thank you for telling me. Is there anything else?” I shook my head. “Alright then, thank you, Rhia. Go and get some sleep, you look exhausted.”   
      “I’m not the only one by the looks of it. You should rest too.” He laughed tiredly and wiped his hand over his face.   
      “Yeah, I’ll be going to bed soon. Work has been piling up for the Survey Corps. It’s all part of being the Commander though.”   
      “Hm, it sounds like a lot of fun. I’ll leave you to your work. Night, Commander.”   
      “Goodnight, Lieutenant.” I walked out of the room and Levi’s head turned to me.   
      “Everything sorted?”   
      “Mmhm. Erwin’s giving someone else the job.” I couldn’t help but feel a little upset at not being able to teach them anymore. I liked them all and they were all great kids but this was for the best. _You’ll miss them_.   
      “Did he say who?” I shook my head.   
      “No, he just said he’d assign someone else tomorrow.” The rest of the walk was in silence until we reached my door. Mikasa, Armin and Eren were waiting outside my door and I blinked at them.   
      “What are you three doing here?”   
      “I wanted to speak to you about earlier today.” Mikasa said, adjusting her scarf a little. I looked at Levi and he raised an eyebrow.   
      “I’ll see you in the morning. You’ll eat your meal this time.” He said.   
      “Yes, dear.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He winked and walked away without so much as a nod to the group. Mikasa didn’t seem to care and Armin avoided looking at him, though Eren looked a little offended. I suppose he had spent weeks with Levi and his squad and had gotten to know them pretty well.     
      “We brought you these.” Armin said and held out my knife as Eren handed me my spear.   
      “Oh… I’d forgotten about these. Thank you.”   
      “We’re looking forward to our lessons with you tomorrow.” Eren smiled. Oh shit.   
      “I… I won’t be teaching you anymore.” All three of them stared.   
      “What do you mean?” Eren demanded. “Why not?”   
      “I-I told Erwin that I shouldn’t be teaching you anymore.”   
      “But why?” Armin looked genuinely hurt.   
      “Why? Because I almost killed Mikasa today! I can’t risk doing that again to any of you. You’re better off with someone who can actually keep control and won’t hurt you guys.”   
      “You’re just gonna give us up to some stranger!?” Eren shouted.   
      “Eren-” Armin started.   
      “Eren, do not shout at me. I’ve known you all for two days and you’re brilliant kids. I can’t risk it.” He watched me angrily before stalking off, Armin hurrying after him and apologising to me all the while. Mikasa made no move to follow them. I walked over to my door, opening it and gesturing for her to follow me in. She did so and I lit my lamps.   
      “I still want you to teach me the move.” I sighed and shucked my jacket.   
      “Mikasa, you know I can’t do that.”   
      “Why not?”   
      “Why do you think? I almost _killed_ you! No-one seems to realise what I’m capable of or the true extent of what was happening there. I tell Erwin and he says it must have been hard for _me_ of all people! I tell Levi and he tells me to get over myself-”   
      “That short guy isn’t worth your time.”   
      “That short guy is my best friend.” We looked at each other until she turned away.   
      “We’re different to the others.” She muttered. “I knew it, ever since I saw you when you rode through Shiganshina. You’ve seen terrible things and had terrible things happen to you and so have I. You can’t deny it.” I wasn’t denying it. I’d always felt a connection to her, as small a sliver as it may be.   
      “I know. We’ve both endured cruelty and brutality. You’re still just a kid though, Mikasa. You’re far too young to have seen such horrible things.” I walked over to her. “I need you to understand, Mikasa, that this is hard for the both of us. We’ve suffered and we’ve lost people. I’ve only got a few people who I’ve known for more than three years. Everyone else has died. I can’t afford to be friends with you or anyone in the 104th Squad because then you’ll all die too.”   
      “We can protect ourselves.”   
      “But you’re still kids. You’re all talented, capable kids and there’s so much that you can do. But if you’re all tied down with me, you won’t survive.”   
      “So everything you told us yesterday was a lie?”   
      “What?”   
      “You told us that without your help,” Mikasa was visibly frustrated now, “our rate of survival was below twenty percent. If we agreed to be trained by you, our likelihood of survival was tripled. Are you gonna go back on that?” I honestly didn’t have a response to that. I swallowed.   
      “What do you want me to do?” I said, sounding suddenly very tired.   
      “Keep teaching us.” I rubbed the back of my neck.   
      “I’ve already seen Erwin about it, Mikasa. I can’t keep changing my mind.” She watched me with an indifferent expression, though I could see the irritation and the disappointment in her eyes.   
      “I see. I apologise for bothering you. Sleep well, Rhia.” She turned and left. The door closed behind her and my gut somersaulted with guilt. Was this really the best choice? I _was_ the Survivor… No-one else was more qualified than me to teach them… But sooner or later, they’d all die. Everyone would, in the end. I got ready for bed and lay down with a heavy sigh. Sleep came in its ebbs and flows, pulling me under for forty minutes at a time but what felt like only seconds.

      The next morning, my mind was made up. I went downstairs to the cafeteria, a little later than yesterday since I had no reason to get an early start. When I got down there, the cafeteria was half full, most of those who had jobs to do had already set off to do them. The 104th Squad weren’t sitting in there, as their lessons had already started. I grabbed a slice of toast and walked over to our usual table. Erwin had taken to bringing his paperwork in for breakfast it seemed - he had a mountain of documents next to him that he was signing and checking as he gnawed on his toast. Hanji and Moblit had already gone and Nanaba and Mike were just leaving as I reached the table. I waved goodbye to them and sat next to Levi.   
      “So what happened?” Levi asked immediately, sipping his tea.   
      “Eren got angry when I told them I was no longer teaching them and ran off. Armin followed him and Mikasa and I had a little chat.”   
      “And?”   
      “And what?” Erwin was watching with interest.   
      “Anything else? Did you change your mind?” I didn’t answer and ate my toast. Neither of them pressed the subject and I stood before either of them did.   
      “I’ve got a busy day today.” Levi frowned.   
      “I thought today was free for you.” I shrugged.   
      “It was. Erwin, where are the soldiers?” He smiled softly.   
      “At the 3DMG. Krestian is teaching them.” I cocked an eyebrow.   
      “Krestian? Of all the people, you chose Krestian?” He himself shrugged this time.   
      “He’s capable.”   
      “He has the attention span of a spoon.” I remarked. Levi choked on his tea and I patted his back for him.   
      “Fucking hell…” He wheezed.   
      “Sorry. I’ll see you both later in any case. Swing by for a visit, maybe.” I patted Levi’s shoulder again and walked out of the cafeteria, making my way to the 3DMG station near the woods. They were all lined up with their backs to me, their maneuver gear on, and Krestian was trying (and failing) to seem intimidating. From the group’s postures, they were pretty bored. I strode up the line and approached Krestian.   
      “You can leave this to me, Krestian, you’ve embarrassed yourself enough for one day.”   
      “I wasn’t embarrassing myself. I was simply gaining their respect.”   
      “Right, sure. I’ll take it from here, thank you.” He shrugged.   
      “You’re the boss.” And he walked away with a grin. Nothing ever seemed to get him down. I turned to the squad.   
      “Trust me, you don’t want him teaching you, he’s a moron. Heart of gold but he’s not all there.” I rubbed my neck sheepishly. “So I’ll be your teacher again, from here on in. Permanently. If you all still want me helping you, that is.” They were all smiling, which I took as a good sign. “I’ll try my best not to kill any of you or storm out like that again either. Are you… alright with this arrangement?”   
      “Yeah!” Sasha cheered, jumping in the air excitedly. _She’s like Isabel_.   
      “It’s good to have you back, Rhia.” Reiner grinned. “That guy was really irritating me.”   
      “He may be half your size, Reiner, but you’re half his age as well. Don’t try and beat him up.” I said jokingly. “So, you guys were doing 3DMG, huh? Let’s get started then. Assemble yourselves on differing points at the start of the course. On my go, we’ll have a little contest. Whoever gets the most confirmed ‘Titan’ kills wins. And no cheating or I’ll know about it. Off you pop.” They rushed off to their starting points and Mikasa, Eren and Armin approached me.   
      “We’re glad you could stick around, Rhia.” Armin smiled.   
      “Yeah. Uh, sorry about getting angry yesterday.”   
      “It’s fine, Eren. I’d be quite angry if I were you as well.” They both smiled and walked off, leaving me with Mikasa.   
      “You decided to stay.” She observed.   
      “Yeah. It’s better than filing paperwork and training myself all day. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually end up liking you guys.” I teased lightly. She smiled softly and placed a hand on my shoulder before following her friends. _No more overreactions. No more temper tantrums. No more breakdowns. Get the job done and keep them alive._ I’m a pretty shitty person but those didn’t seem like hard goals. I’d get there. Somehow. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * = This will be explained in a bonus chapter that I'll be adding to 'The Outsider and the Thugs', or to another series of oneshots that happen either during TOATT, WCALW or between them.


	3. The 57th Expedition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month has passed and the 104th Squad go on their first expedition into the Titan's territory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains graphic violence.

      The day of the expedition arrived and my stomach was doing flips. As always, the prospect of my impending death loomed uncomfortably at the edge of my thoughts. I’d survived this long but there was definitely no promise that I would survive this expedition, or the next one, or the next one. There was also no guarantee that Levi, Hanji, Erwin or any of the 104th Squad would survive this expedition. All I could do was hope.   
      Everyone was up bright and early, as was the expectation. On these fateful days, most people would be down in the cafeteria before dawn; it was difficult to sleep the night before your probable death. When I got down there, the cafeteria was half full. None of my students were there yet but they would be soon. Erwin and Levi were seated and I sat beside them after retrieving some coffee and toast.   
      “Good morning.” I greeted, sipping my drink.   
      “You’re in a sprightly mood.” Erwin observed, raising one of his magnificent eyebrows at me.   
      “Am I? I’m currently trying not to seize up in terror but if it looks like I’m cheerful, that’s a job well done, I suppose.” I replied with a shaky chuckle. Despite living on the outside for the majority of my life, I still couldn’t get rid of the jitters before an expedition. Of course, since 845, I hadn’t been outside the walls to home. There was something about only meeting the Titans once every year or so. Before I was ‘welcomed’ into the Scouting Legion, I saw Titans every day and killed them every day and I fought bandits and killed them every day too. But living inside the walls gave me a false sense of security and, having witnessed my friends get eaten and murdered over the years, I was terrified more for my friends than myself. I knew that Erwin, Hanji, Levi, Mike and Nanaba could handle themselves but their capabilities would never stop me from worrying for them. As for the freshly new recruits… They had survived Trost and some of them had survived the breach in 845. That had to count for something, right?   
      “Rhia?” I blinked. Both Levi and Erwin were watching me and Mike had joined us. It felt like six years ago all of a sudden.   
      “What?”   
      “I asked if you thought the new recruits were ready or not.” Erwin frowned delicately at me. “Are you alright?”   
      “Yeah. I’m fine.” I responded, albeit bluntly. Mike sniffed with concern.   
      “You seem stressed.” He decided. I shrugged.   
      “We are about to ride out into peril again.”   
      “We can all take care of ourselves, Rhia.” Mike assured, somehow knowing why I was worried. “If you’re worrying about us, you’re not worrying about yourself.”   
      “I guess…” I muttered. “But this is the new Scouts’ first expedition. It’s not the same as Trost. Outside Wall Rose, that’s no longer humanity’s territory. The things that I taught them were things that I learned from living outside Wall Maria - what if the advice doesn’t apply to being outside Wall Rose? I don’t know that territory as well-”   
      “Shut up.” Levi interrupted, being his usual charming self. “They’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Stop babying them.” I rolled my eyes at him.   
      “Babying people is being overly protective and being unnecessarily so. I’m trying to keep them _alive_ , Levi, it’s not _quite_ babying.”   
      “Do I look like I care?”   
      “You never look like you care.” It came out a lot harsher than I intended and he glanced at me sidelong. Erwin and Mike were watching with raised eyebrows.   
      “Sorry.” I mumbled. “That didn’t come out right.”   
      “... It’s fine. Come on, let’s go.” He tapped my arm lightly and I quickly drained my coffee, chucking my toast at Mike.   
      “You can have that, I’m not hungry.” I left with Levi before he could reject it. We steadily walked towards Levi’s office.   
      “You’re on edge. More so than usual.” He stated.   
      “I guess I am. Sorry about the snark earlier. I didn’t-I didn’t mean it like that.”   
      “I know.” He opened his office door and we walked in.   
      “Why are we in here?”   
      “Something’s going to happen.” I frowned at Levi as he leaned on his desk.   
      “What do you mean?”   
      “Something is going to happen during the expedition. I can feel it.” I tilted my head.   
      “A gut feeling?”   
      “Something like that. The two Titans that were killed is just the beginning. I don’t think it was just a revenge killing. It was systematic.” As he spoke, I walked over and stood before him.   
      “Have you raised this with Erwin?”   
      “Yes. He agrees. Hanji, Mike and Nanaba know as well. We don’t know what will happen but be on full alert.” He warned. “We can’t afford to lose anybody.” His gaze was intense and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.   
      “Alright. Expect the worst then.”   
      “Mm.”   
      “Is that everything?”   
      “Are you so eager to leave me?” He taunted, raising an eyebrow. Despite the joking nature, I blushed.   
      “Oh, shut up. I want to prep the new soldiers before we set off for Karanese.” He didn’t reply and I glanced at him. His head was cocked and he was watching me intently.   
      “You’d make a good mother.” My face flushed and my mouth hung open.   
      “W-what!? No, I really wouldn’t!”   
      “Shut up, you would.” I blinked rapidly, trying desperately to turn back to a normal colour.   
      “I thought I babied the kids too much?”   
      “It shows you care.”   
      “Tch, well, I shouldn’t care. They’re probably going to end up dead, aren’t they?”   
      “Not if we can help it.” He stood up straight. “Almost all of those kids have lost their parents. They need someone like you to remind them what it was like to be cared for.” I could feel my eyes wetten slightly.   
      “They’re still just kids and everyone treats them like they’re adults. They’re fifteen and people expect them to kill Titans and murder humans. That’s… inhuman.” Hands settled on my shoulders and I kept my eyes away from the owner of those hands.   
      “No it’s not. That’s exactly what humans are like. This is what humanity has done for hundreds of years. History repeats itself. Humans are shitbags.” I scoffed.   
      “They are, aren’t they? It sucks to be human.”   
      “It’s not so bad.”   
      “Well, the alternative isn’t exactly ideal so I guess it’s not.”   
      “That’s the spirit.” He said monotonously and I laughed, hiccoughing a little. “Aww.”   
      “Shut up, Levi.”   
      “But it was so cute.”   
      “It was a fucking hiccough, shut up.”   
      “You just squeaked during your laugh. It was adorable.”   
      “For fuck’s sake, Levi…”   
      “What?”   
      “Shut up!” I hiccoughed again. A tiny smile was tugging at Levi’s lips.   
      “Don’t you dare-” I hiccoughed again. “For fuck’s sake, this isn’t fun-” Another hiccough. “Are you laughing at me!?” His shoulders were shaking and his head was inclined so I couldn’t see his face. “I’ve never heard you actually laugh before and you decide, the one time that you do, it’s because I can’t stop-” I hiccoughed. Levi fucking _giggled_. He clamped his hand over his mouth in horror. We stared at each other until I started smirking.   
      “Aww, Levi, that’s so cute…”   
      “Shut the fuck up.”   
      “No, seriously, that’s adorable! Aww…”   
      “Rhia, I swear to god, if you tell anyone-”   
      “Why would I tell anyone that you did the most adorable little giggle ever?” I teased. His cheeks were so red, it was amazing.   
      “Fucking hell…”   
      “Will you laugh again? Please?”   
      “No, fuck off.”   
      “Please?”   
      “Fucking no, okay?”   
      “You’re swearing a lot all of a sudden.”   
      “Why do you fucking think?” I paused.   
      “Hey, my hiccoughs stopped.”   
      “Yippee for you.” I rolled my eyes and stepped away from him, only just realising how close we were actually standing.   
      “I was expecting a little more support there, if I’m honest, Levi. Something less sarcastic, you know?”   
      “I’ll miss the hiccoughs. They were cute while they lasted.” My face flared up and he smirked.   
      “Oh, piss off…” I walked to the door. “I’m going somewhere where I won’t be laughed at in a really cute way. I’ll see you on the horses.”   
      “See you on the horses.” I was about to leave when he spoke again. "Rhia." I looked back at him. "You understand that I do care. Right?" His eyes never wavered from mine and I smiled softly.   
      "I know. And you know that I care as well. Right?"   
      "You care too much, that's your problem." My cheeks hadn't stopped going pink.   
      "I guess. Just makes me more lovable though. See you on the other side." I made my way down the cafeteria where the squad would be eating by now. When I got down there, they were indeed all sitting down there, though the only person eating was Sasha, and even she was eating very little.   
      “You’ll need your strength. Eat your breakfast.” I urged them as I came to a stop at their table.   
      “I’m feeling a little sick, to be honest…” Sasha muttered, staring mournfully at her bread. It had very small bite marks in it.   
      “I understand, Sasha, but you need to eat.” _Hypocrite, you gave your uneaten toast to Mike_. Ssh.   
      “We’re heading out from the Karanese district, right?” Armin asked. “We’ll be circling from the East and heading South, right?”   
      “Yeah, though this is just a test run. Once we’ve done testing this out, we’ll circle back and recuperate. It’ll take us a while to get to Shiganshina when we do make the push but hopefully, everything will run smoothly.” _It won’t though. Levi said something is going to happen and Erwin feels the same. Prepare yourself.  
      _ “I don’t feel good.” Connie groaned.   
      “It’s going to be okay.” I tried to convince them, but they could see that I wasn’t so sure myself. “I can’t… I can’t promise that you’ll all make it back alive. I can only protect you all so far. Out there, it’s easy to get separated. But I don’t know what’s going to happen. I do know that I’m with Mikasa in her squad, however.” As I wasn’t in Levi’s Special Squad, I was going to be nowhere near him or Eren. “There is a chance that some of us won’t come back. The likelihood of us all making it back… It’s incredibly slim. You guys understand that, right?” They solemnly nodded. “You need to be prepared to say goodbye to people because it might just be for good. The thing about being in the Scouting Legion is that everyone will risk their lives to save other people. Complete strangers will sacrifice themselves for you and your best friends will do the same. The Survey Corps is a brotherhood more than anything. We all look out for each other. So listen to me when I say that I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you all safe.” The atmosphere was gloomy but it brightened a little after.   
      “Don’t sacrifice yourself for us, Rhia.” Jean muttered. “Don’t try to be the hero.”   
      “You all became my responsibility as soon as I decided I would be your teacher, Jean.” I informed him. “I’m in too deep, I can’t just stop caring about you all. I swore I’d protect you and I will. Now eat your fucking breakfast and saddle up. We head out in two hours.”

      Once we’d cleared the urban area, we slid off our horses and settled into our squads. Mikasa approached me as the briefing went on. I already knew our position and our plan so I didn’t pay any attention to it. Mikasa glanced at the map and that was all she needed before coming to stand beside me.   
      “How does it feel to be outside Wall Rose for the first time in five years, Mikasa?” I asked, crossing my arms.   
      “It’s okay. Whether the plan works or not, we’ll find out.” I petted my horse as she sighed. “I’m worried for Eren.”   
      “We all are. I think you have more cause to worry about him than we do, but we’re all scared for him. Look at it this way, Mikasa,” She met my eyes, “He’s being protected by Levi and his hand-picked team. Levi is the strongest soldier out there and you’re a close second.”   
      “Then why wasn’t I chosen to help escort him?” She questioned with exasperation.   
      “Because you’ve got an emotional bond with him. It’s why I wasn’t permitted to join the squad as well; I’m close with Levi. The Scouts can’t afford to let themselves get in the way of the mission. You have to suck it up and deal with it.”   
      “... What if something happens? What if bandits attack as well? We’re not exactly prepared for an assault like that.” I sighed and shrugged.   
      “We’re not. We’ll just have to hope for their blindness. Hopefully they won’t target us.”   
      “This isn’t good enough.” Mikasa was _sulking_ , I realised.   
      “I know. But as long as we make it back alive, we’ll be okay.”   
      “You said earlier that it was unlikely that we would.”   
      “I did. Instead of hoping for no bandit attacks, let’s hope that we all make it back alive instead.” I spotted Armin amongst the crowds. “Armin is over there if you want to talk to him.” She saw him as well and hurried off to talk to him. Slowly, I saw Eren run over to them both and soon, the 104th Squad gathered around them. I watched them before heading over to see Hanji.   
      “Hey, Hanji.” I greeted, standing beside her.   
      “Oh hi!” She replied. “You feeling alright?”   
      “As alright as I can be. You’re alright?”   
      “I’m dandy.” She grinned, her eyes closed. “Think of all the discoveries we could make on this expedition! We might even get to see Eren go Titan again!” I rolled my eyes at her.   
      “Hanji, the whole point of this is to stop Eren from going Titan. We’re testing the waters.”   
      “Yeah, but imagine him going Titan again! That would be incredible!”   
      “Alright, Hanji.” I noticed Levi watching me from afar.  I shook my head and clapped her on the shoulder.   
      “I’ll see you later. Don’t die, okay?” She laughed and I made my way over to Levi. “How’s Eren doing?”   
      “He’s fine. How are the other brats?” I looked over at the gaggle of them, still surrounding Eren.   
      “They seem to be doing okay. Sasha and Connie definitely aren’t feeling very good. Armin’s a little off too, but he won’t let anyone see that.  And Mikasa is pissed that she can’t escort Eren with you all.”   
      “What are they, conjoined at the hip? She’ll have to deal with it.”   
      “I guess, but… I can see where she’s coming from.” He tilted his head. “I’m still pissed that I wasn’t allowed in the squad, I suppose. I understand why I wasn’t, emotional bonds and all that, but I don’t think I’d let that get in the way of the mission.”   
      “We don’t know unless we try. You understand the reason why you can’t tell anyone else of our true position, correct?” I nodded. “Good. Keep it to yourself. I’ll see you in the forest. Don’t die in the meantime.”   
      “I’ll certainly try. You better not die either. See you in the forest.” We all got back on our horses and began the expedition. We separated into our ranks and galloped on. Mikasa and I were in the third line in the third rank. We were one of the closest to the Special Squad so if anything catastrophic did happen, we’d be ready to protect Eren. Red smoke was deployed more than five times until I recognised the position of one of them. It was ahead of us and slightly to the right. _Second line, third rank… That’s Sasha…_ I prayed it wasn’t an abnormal. Far away, I spotted a black flare. Shit… Confirmed abnormal emergency… Not long after, a Titan was running full speed out of the trees and straight for the centre of the formation. As much as I wanted to go and take care of it, I had to stay in formation. I glanced at Mikasa. She was watching the Titan with a calm sort of horror. We saw one of the squad leaders cut its tendons in its ankles and another soldier went in for the kill. Despite most Scouts being capable and talented soldiers with a high survival rate, everyone always held their breath when they saw their comrades tangling with a Titan. The group passed out of sight and we moved on. Titan after Titan attempted to destroy us and again and again, we continued past them. An abnormal fled into our ranks suddenly.   
      “Shit!” I screeched. “Mikasa, fire a flare, I’ll get this one!” She obeyed and I launched off my horse. The abnormal was fast but clumsy with poor aim. I fired a harpoon into its shoulder and swung around its front. Its eyes followed me the whole way, its right hand was following me with alarming speed. If that hand caught me, I’d be screwed. I pressed on the gas and I sped on, whipping around to its nape and I slashed at it. It went down and I landed on the ground awkwardly, almost breaking my ankle. I grunted and mounted the horse again, hurrying on to catch up.   
      “Titan down!” I struggled with my ankle in the stirrup as I rode.   
      “What’s happened to your ankle, Rhia?” A comrade, Brent, asked.   
      “I landed on it wrong but it’s not broken. I don’t think it’s even sprained, I’ll be fine.” He nodded.   
      “Good. We can’t afford to have you out of commission.”   
      “No worries, still fighting.” This was the norm. After having an encounter with a Titan, it was almost considered expected to hold conversation. Whether it was simply a ‘You okay?’ or a ‘The weather’s nice today’, it was accepted that a small conversation after an encounter was to keep you focused on the mission and keep you feeling human. We could see a forest of Giant Trees coming up and we pressed on. A rider suddenly came up beside us. I didn’t know their name.   
      “I’ve got a message!” She shouted.   
      “What’s happened?” Brent called back.   
      “Almost the entire right flank has been crushed!” _Armin…_ “From what we can gather, some kind of deviant is behind it!” _Something is going to happen…  
      _ “What’s the state of the rest of the formation?” I bellowed.   
      “As far as I know, only the right flank have taken such a heavy blow. The carnage is approaching the centre of the formation and if it continues, it’ll wreck straight through here.” _The centre of the formation is where the Special Squad is.  
      _ “Do we have any further orders?” Brent asked.   
      “Enter the forest ahead, you’ll join with the next ranks ahead of you.”   
      “Order confirmed!” The rider continued on to relay the message to other ranks. “Something’s going on…” Levi was right. We rode harder and faster, trying to get to the forest as quickly as possible. I hadn’t sensed any Titans but being inside the walls for so long had partially dulled my senses. As we continued, we found Connie’s squad.   
      “Connie! You’re okay then?” I called out to him. He smiled shakily.   
      “As okay as I can be, given the situation.” I reached over and patted his shoulder as best as I could.   
      “Don’t worry. Being in the forest means that we can utilise our maneuver gear to its fullest potential.” We entered the forest.   
      “Hey… Say… Seems like only the central file entered the forest. What’s gonna happen to the formation now?” Connie voiced. The forest was dark and whilst our gear was at its best in these forests, Titans could easily hide behind the trees.   
      “There’s no formation to speak of anymore.” Mikasa responded bluntly. “Since both the right and left flanks are ordered not to enter the forest, the only way to go left to us is to circle it around instead. Our ability to detect the enemy is lost.” I really hoped that bandits didn’t attack now. We’d been lucky so far.   
      “But why didn’t we just avoid the forest by changing course earlier? Did Commander Erwin read the map wrong or something!?” Of course, I knew. But I couldn’t tell any of them, no matter how much I trusted them.   
      “I don’t know.” Mikasa replied. “Maybe we got cornered trying to avoid the Titan threat on our right flank and ended up here… or maybe not.” Another messenger came riding up.   
      “Everyone needs to climb the trees on the outside of the forest! We’re stopping all Titans from getting inside the forest by distracting them!”   
      “Got it!” Brent nodded and we made for the edge of the forest.   
      “Rhia, you’re to stay inside the forest. You’ll meet with Erwin East of the path.” I blinked.   
      “Why do I-” Oh, wait. “Never mind. I’ll meet him there.” The messenger nodded and rode away. “Mikasa, Connie, stay safe. Don’t engage the Titans unless absolutely necessary. Okay?” They nodded determinedly. “Good. I’ll see you both on the other side.” I slowed down as they continued to the edge of the forest. Hopefully, I was in the right place…   
      “Rhia!” I heard, and I turned to my right. Erwin was riding ahead and he was beckoning. I approached and we went deeper into the forest.   
      “What’s going on, Erwin?” I asked. “There’s talk of a deviant?”   
      “There is. We’re luring the-” There was a great crashing sound and we turned to look. We couldn’t see anything but the footsteps of a Titan were loud and shaking the ground.   
      “We’re luring the Titan here.” Erwin finished.   
      “Right… Okay.” There was a horrid screeching sound. “A sound grenade?”   
      “It’s approaching Levi’s Squad. It’s found Eren.”   
      “Right… On with the plan then?”   
      “On with the plan.” We continued on in silence. There were more galloping horses and what sounded like Eren shouting. We jumped into the trees and positioned ourselves. I had expected a calm before the storm but all we heard was the footsteps coming closer and closer and more shouts. I heard Eren scream and I saw Levi ride into view, followed by Erd, Petra, Eren, Aururo and Gunther. And then it came through. It was huge and female, covered in muscle and skin over some parts of her. She had blonde hair that covered her face and she had startlingly blonde eyes. She realised the trap too late.   
      “FIRE!” Erwin roared. Everyone shot their harpoons into her, steam erupting out of the guns and cannons. There was awful noises of the harpoons embedding themselves in her flesh and some of them going through her flesh. _Why are you calling it a her?_ She’s blatantly female. It was odd, though, once the steam had cleared. She was completely immobilised, her arms over her head and she had sagged to her knees. She looked so vulnerable… Then I noticed her hands. They were blocking the nape of her neck. _She’s… intelligent!_ I knew that she was abnormal and had some degree of intelligence but she was blocking the only way that we could kill her and she was doing it intentionally. Looking down at her from my branch, she was trapped and almost looked… sad. She had nowhere to run and no way of escaping. She looked… human. _Oh fuck_. She was… She was a human! She was like Eren! I’d had suspicions, I suppose, that she was more than just a deviant, but a Titan shifter? Just how many people were like Eren? Was there a whole group of them? A village? Or maybe it was a certain gene…?   
      I climbed up the trunk, digging the blade of my spear into the bark, and launched myself up to Erwin’s position. I landed next to him as Levi perched against the trunk, held up by the harpoons of his gear.   
      “Seems like she stopped moving.” Levi summarised.   
      “Yes, but we can’t let our guard down yet.” Erwin replied. “Great job leading her here.”   
      “It’s all thanks to the backup squad who gave up their lives fighting to buy us enough time. If it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t have made it here.” Anyone who says that Levi is an unemotional asshole will be stabbed in the neck. “It’s thanks to them that we have this opportunity to meet the person hiding in the nape of her neck. I hope that person won’t piss themselves though... “ Hanji fired more harpoons but I couldn’t hear what she was saying from where I was.   
      “Rhia, Levi, I want you both to try to cut through her fingers to get to the nape.” Erwin instructed. We nodded and launched forwards, spinning quickly downwards to her hand, blades out and ready. The blades collided with her fingers but broke apart. _She has some sort of hardening ability…_ I returned to another tree but Levi stayed behind, standing on her head and jeering at her.   
      “Hey, why don’t you just get outta there already? We have better things to do than this, you know.” He said. “Say, what d’you think is gonna come next? You really believe you can escape from us? I’d really like you to put yourself in our shoes for a moment and think how much trouble you’re causing us. We had to come up with a way to drag you out and keep repeating our attempts time and time again. You… have killed a lot of my subordinates in various ways, haven’t you? Was it fun?” His voice was harsh and empty. “I personally am having fun right now. And you’re just like me, aren’t you? You, of all people, would understand me, that’s what I think, you know?” Was he trying to get a rise out of her or was this true? “Oh yeah… There was something I wanted to ask. If your hands and feet are cut off, will you still be alright? They’ll just grow back, right?” He paused. “I mean your real hands and feet. ‘Cause your dying on us just won’t do.” Even from where I was situated, I could see her eyes widen in despair. Her mouth opened and even Levi was surprised that she was reacting. A shriek ripped out of her throat and it hurt to hear it. I clutched my ears and stared. When the scream was over, I pulled my hands from my ears. I was still slightly deafened so everything was more of a buzz than distinct sounds. I could see people’s mouths moving but I could hear nothing coming from them. My hearing slowly returned and I shook my head to make sure I hadn’t damaged anything. That scream had been _loud_. Mike was flying over to Erwin quickly. Could he smell som- _Listen_. I strained my hearing. It was difficult to do that once I’d just been deafened. I put my hand to the branch and closed my eyes. Tiny vibrations and a lot of them.   
      “TITANS INBOUND!” I roared.   
      “GET THE BOMBS READY!” Erwin commanded. Levi flew over to me.   
      “How many?” He asked.   
      “A lot. Too many. We’ll be decimated.” I said darkly.   
      “Don’t engage them.” Levi warned and flew back to the Female Titan.   
      “HURRY UP WITH THOSE BOMBS!” I heard Erwin bellow over the din. The footsteps were close enough for me to feel them through my boots now.   
      “CARTS CONVOY SQUAD! INTERCEPT THE ENEMY!” I watched as soldiers from the ground rushed into the air to engage the newly arriving Titans. I was preparing myself to see death (either of the Titans or the soldiers) but they ran straight past the Scouts. Levi readied his blades and whipped around, cutting them down. He missed a five metre and it began to gnaw on the Female Titan’s leg. _What!? Why is it eating her!?  
      _ “INCOMING TITANS FROM EVERY SIDE!” I warned.   
      “MEN, ENGAGE THEM! PROTECT THE FEMALE TYPE!” Erwin ordered. There goes listening to Levi… We all swooped in, trying to destroy the Titans. They were all so closely packed and moving so much that it was impossible to kill any one of them without being eaten by another. An arm was ripped off of the Female Titan.   
      “MEN! WITHDRAW TEMPORARILY!” I flew over to Mike.   
      “Why are they eating her?” I mused aloud.   
      “Her scream had something to do with it. It called them in. There were reports of whole armies of Titans destroying the right flank. She probably lured them in.” Mike explained.   
      “A little recap then… She’s a shifter, like Eren; she’s incredibly fast and very skilled at combat; she has the ability to harden her skin, and she can summon Titans with a scream.”   
      “Sounds about right.” He muttered. “I just hope that we can get the person out of the neck before they devour them.” I hummed in agreement. Blood dripped off my cheek and I wiped it away. Some poor son of a bitch practically exploded as we were trying to defend the Female Type. I was covered in blood and gore.   
      “MEN. REATREAT.” Erwin roared. “WHILE TITANS ARE BUSY DEVOURING THE FEMALE TYPE’S BODY, GET ON YOUR HORSES! WE’RE LEAVING ALL THE CARTS HERE!” _There goes securing a supply route…_ “HEAD WEST AND ONCE YOU’RE OUT OF THE FOREST, RE-DEPLOY THE FORMATION! WE’RE RETURNING TO THE KARANESE DISTRICT.”   
      “I don’t even know where my horse is…” I growled. “Has the person even been eaten by the Titans? They might have escaped during the havoc.” Mike stiffened.   
      “That’s very true.” We looked at Erwin. He was talking to Levi. They both looked very glum and Levi was staring at Erwin.   
      “He knows.” I muttered. “Levi’s got his ‘I don’t understand’ expression.”   
      “Looks like Erwin’s told Levi something he doesn’t understand. An order?”   
      “Probably. I’m going to find out what’s going on.” Mike nodded and I swung over to Erwin and Levi. “What’s happening?”   
      “The human inside the Titan has escaped.” Erwin said darkly. “It’s entirely likely that they will return. Levi will restock and prepare to take them down.”   
      “And what about me?”   
      “You’ll ride West and escape with the rest of the Scouts.”   
      “Bullshit. No.”   
      “Rhia, I need you to do this.”   
      “No. Send me with Levi.” I bit out.   
      “You know that I can’t do that.”   
      “Because we happen to be close. Yes, so what? You can’t send Levi against the Female Titan on his own. Whether he’s humanity’s strongest or not, she’s unlike anything we’ve seen. If anything, our best shot is to test Eren’s ability against her!”   
      “Eren will escape with Levi’s Squad. You will escape with the rest of the Scouts.”   
      “Erwin, I’m not arguing about this.” I stood right in front of him. He positively towered over me.   
      “Rhia-”   
      “No. I’m going with Levi. We’re your strongest soldiers, you’re better off sending us both.” I had told Mikasa earlier that she had to suck it up. But this Female Titan was running around and even I wouldn’t be able to blame her if she went looking for Eren now.    
       “She’s right, Erwin.” Levi interrupted, speaking for the first time since I’d come over. “You’re better off sending us both to find her. I’ve told you before that we’re better working as a team than being separated.” I blinked at him. “Your reasoning behind keeping Rhia from joining my Special Squad was somewhat sound but you know that we both function better knowing where each other are. You know the lengths we’ll go to keep each other safe.”  
      “I know that you would both die for each other.” Erwin stated. “That’s why I keep you apart. I want to keep you both alive.”   
      “Let us prove that we can work together now. We’ll sort this out, Erwin, leave it to us.” We both watched him in trepidation. He looked at us both.   
      “Fine. I may reconsider allowing you into the Special Squad after this, but only if you give me results.” I smiled.   
      “No problem.”   
      “Restock your blades and gas, Rhia.” Levi and I rushed down to the abandoned carts and restocked.   
      “Damn, I really hope this works now.” I grunted, wiping my face of more blood. I wiped some entrails off my cloak as well.   
      “It will. Even if we don’t capture the person, we can prove we can work together if we survive. That should be outrageously simple, don’t you think?”   
      “I forget how sarcastic you get when you’re under stress.” He hummed in response. “Right, I’m done. Ready to go?”   
      “Yeah.” We shot off in the air and accelerated as fast as we could. We heard a flare go off.   
      “Wait, what’s with the flare?” I asked. “I thought you were the only one to be firing a flare… To summon your team?” Levi’s expression darkened.   
      “They’re luring them in.” He growled, increasing his speed. I wasn’t as fast as him but I was fast enough to keep up.   
      “So this person overheard you talking about using the signal?” I shouted over the wind.   
      “It would appear so.” We heard a crash. “They’ve shifted!”   
      “Shit!” Trees blurred past us and it felt like it was going on and on. My stomach was flipping and my hands were clammy. I had never encountered something like this before. Nervousness didn’t suit me. There was a roar, one that I’d never heard before. _Is that… Eren?_ We picked up speed, if that were even possible, and continued hurtling through the forest. Something was hanging from the branches up ahead. A body. We sped past it. It was Gunther. _Oh god…_ A little further up, we found the rest of Levi’s Special Squad. Erd’s torso was laying on the floor. Aururo was close to being in pieces. And Petra, sweet Petra, was sagged backwards against a trunk of a tree. We moved on without saying a word but I could feel the guilt and grief emanating from my friend. The Female Titan was ahead, sprinting away. We passed the steaming corpse of Eren’s Titan body. The nape had been bitten away. _Where is he…?_ Mikasa was screaming bloody murder at the Female Type. She was almost killed after the Titan swiped a hand at her against a tree, but she dodged just in time. The Female Titan began to run away again and Mikasa was not happy.   
      “WAIT FOR ME!” She bellowed, going to follow her. My arm caught her waist before she could set off.   
      “Friends. Fall back for now.” Levi said as we slowed our speed. “We’ll follow her keeping our distance for the moment.”   
      “It looks like she’s pretty exhausted. Her speed has dropped significantly.” I informed them. Mikasa was simmering with rage.   
      “The whole nape area of Eren’s Titan was bitten out. Is he dead?” Levi asked.   
      “Eren is alive, sir.” Mikasa said reluctantly. “The target seems to have intelligence and her objective is to kidnap Eren. If she wanted to kill him, she could have simply crushed him. Instead, the target intentionally contained him in her mouth and currently is trying to escape with him.” She explained.   
      “Then maybe she was trying to devour Eren all along… In that case, he’s in her stomach right now… Which pretty much means he’s dead.” Levi mused.   
      “Why would she do that?” I wondered.   
      “You ever heard of those old stories about dragons eating virgins? Maybe a Titan shifter tastes better than a normal human.”   
      “He’s alive.” Mikasa grit her teeth.   
      “I sure hope so.” Levi said.   
      “In the first place,” Mikasa growled, “Had you performed your duty to protect Eren properly, this wouldn’t have happened…”   
      “That’s not fair, Mikasa.” I snapped.   
      “You’re… Eren’s childhood friend who was present at the trial, right?” Levi said. “I see…” He looked at her as we soared through the air before turning away. “We’re gonna have to narrow down the list of our objectives to one only. And first of all… We need to give up on taking this Female Type down.”   
      “But-she’s killed a lot of Scouts!” Mikasa exclaimed.   
      “As long as she has that ability to harden her skin, slaying her impossible.” I summarised. “Take our assessment on this. We’ll bet everything on the possibility that Eren is alive and rescue him before she has the chance of getting him out of the forest. We’ll cut her up and you’ll draw her attention.” Mikasa paused but nodded, seemingly more happy to take orders from me than Levi. He noticed this but didn’t mention it. Mikasa shot forwards and went low, the Female Titan hopefully being distracted by her. Levi went right and I went left. _Immobilise her and save Eren. Only go for the kill if you’re certain you can get it._ She turned suddenly, her fist flying for us. We dodged and Levi sank the blade into her hand, spinning like a wheel all the way up her arm. As he did that, I swung around, trying to see the state of the nape of her neck. It was still crystallised. Levi continued up the arm and sank his blades so deep into her eyes that his arms disappeared up to the elbow. He ripped them out and flew up high as I cut the back of her knees. Her hands rose to her eyes ( _or lack thereof_ ) and she fell back against a tree. Levi joined me in hacking her body with slices all over her joints. She fell to a seated position and her hand switched from her eyes to her nape. I reloaded my blades and swung back in for more attacks. She had no time to harden her skin in defence and she was rendered practically catatonic. Her hands fell from her neck and she slumped. _The neck is free…_ Mikasa had noticed as well and she soared towards it.   
      “DON’T!” Levi shouted.   
      “MIKASA NO!” I screamed and I shot through the air to her. Maybe I could intercept her before she got too close? Mikasa was nearing the neck and I saw the Female Titan’s arm rise up to swat her out of the air. _You won’t get there fast enough. You can't save her this time. She’s done for._ Levi appeared out of nowhere and shoved Mikasa out of the way, bouncing off the arm. From where I was, I could see Levi’s ankle snap. My stomach turned and I rushed over to catch Mikasa as she sailed to the ground. Levi sliced through the Female Titan’s jaw and it hung open. Eren lay there covered in saliva. Mikasa righted herself and Levi snatched Eren out of the mouth. We flew off as fast as we could. We couldn’t risk killing her.   
      “Hey, we’re withdrawing now!” Levi shouted at Mikasa.   
      “Eren!” Mikasa sighed with relief.   
      “He seems to be alive… Dirty too.” Levi observed. “Forget about her… We’re getting the hell outta here! Remember the goal of this plan. Or satisfying your desires is more important than rescuing him? He’s your precious friend, isn’t he? Am I wrong?” Mikasa didn’t respond.   
      “Levi, pass him to me.” I ordered. “I’ll take him.” He was out of breath but he nodded. I took Eren into my arms, surprised by his weight. We changed course before we returned to the corpses of the Special Squad and headed West. The rest of the journey was a blur as we returned to Karanese. The mood was dark and we’d lost a lot of soldiers. I placed Eren in a cart and Mikasa insisted on riding beside it on a horse. After Levi spoke to Erwin for a few minutes, we took the last horse and I sat behind him. I was absolutely exhausted and when I wrapped my arms around his middle, I practically slumped against him.   
      “I’m sorry about your squad.” I whispered.   
      “They were good soldiers.” He muttered. “They didn’t deserve to die.”   
      “A lot of people don’t deserve to die.”   
      “And they usually do it anyway.” My arms tightened around him. “We have a plan. I’ll tell you when we get back to the wall.” He peered back at me. “You look like you’re dead. Get some sleep.” I yawned.   
      “We’re still outside the walls, I can’t sleep out here, I could jeopardise the whole formation.” I mumbled back.   
      “You’ll jeopardise the whole formation if you’re too tired to move. I’ll wake you when we get to Karanese.” I opened my mouth to argue but he turned away before I could. _He doesn’t want to talk right now_. I could understand that, hell, we all could. Instead, I rested my head on his back and closed my eyes. The horse slowed slightly so I could sleep comfortably and I squeezed Levi minutely as appreciation. Sleep claimed me quickly but it was far from restful. I managed to get an hour in before Levi woke me up.   
      “We’re here.” He murmured, sliding off the horse and wincing when he landed. “Come on.” Drowsily, I slid off the horse as well and walked beside Levi. The villagers of Karanese were far from welcoming.   
      “The Scouting Legion is back!” Someone cheered. “Their numbers dwindled by quite a few compared to this morning’s…”   
      “They’re back already? They were only gone for a few hours!”   
      “Nice to know our taxes are going to something worthwhile, huh?”   
      “Looks like a lot of them got themselves killed. Joining the Scouts sure is a death wish…” I swallowed thickly. We had been cocky this morning. Our first breakthrough with Eren and our first clear goal in years had made us too confident.   
      “Captain Levi!” A man came up to us with a smile on his face. “Thank you for taking care of my daughter!” His daughter? Who… Surely not. “I’m Petra’s father!” Oh god no… “I thought I’d stop and talk to you a little before going to find my daughter! My daughter sent me this letter, you see. She wrote she got the high honour to be of some use to you, Captain! She was going to give it her all to live up to your expectations… Well, you know… She was outright boasting, not understanding how worried that news could make a parent.” He laughed. “Um, well, anyway, as her father, I, uh… I was thinking it was probably too early for me to insist she get married, you know, she’s still too young and has her whole life ahead of her, so…” He got caught up in the crowd and could no longer walk with us. “Well, anyway, it was nice to speak to you, Captain! I’ll go find Petra now then!” That poor man… I glanced at Levi. He was mortified. I had never given anyone a hug before in my life but I wanted to give Levi one so badly, or at least hold his hand and tell him it was going to be okay, that _it wasn’t his fault_. But he would never believe me, would he? We were far too alike. Petra’s father had gotten me thinking… Had Petra been in love with Levi? Had she written to her father about how much she loved him? I had always thought that she and Aururo were in love… Had… Had Levi loved her? I looked at him again. He paid no attention to anything except where he was walking. Perhaps he had. They hadn’t been close after the past few years but he’d chosen her for the Special Squad and she was often placed in his regiment for expeditions and for when we were clearing out Trost. My heart clenched in both jealousy and grief. If Levi had loved her, it would feel like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. I had always liked Petra and she’d been so nice… My eyes were watering and I clenched my jaw so hard that it hurt. _Don’t cry_. My nose was running and I wiped it, smearing blood across my face. I was still covered in the remains of an unfortunate soldier from the forest. My hands were covered in blood and I could see red on my cheeks. My trousers were stained and my cloak must have been drenched. I tentatively placed a hand on my hair, still in its ponytail. It was wet and sticky. I’d need a thorough shower. Showers could only wash so much death off of me. I’d smell like it for days and I’d feel like it for weeks longer. I peeled my gloves off, shaking them out. A tooth fell out. I stared at it and choked.   
      “Keep going.” Levi muttered, kicking the tooth away as he passed it. I couldn’t speak. I kept walking. This continued on and on until we reached the edge of Karanese. We were practically out of the way of most civilians so we mounted the horses again. As I sat behind Levi again, he explained our plan. I have to say, it was a good plan. We spent the night in a castle where Levi could finally get his ankle seen to. It was bandaged and he went to bed early without saying a word. I swallowed. I sat with the 104th Squad instead of Erwin, Hanji and Mike.   
      “That… was terrible…” Armin whispered. “Does this always happen?” All eyes turned to me.   
      “Less than it used to, I promise. But occasionally, we’ll suffer a huge blow like that. We were lucky that we weren’t found by bandits as well. You’ve all been briefed on the plan, however. We can turn this around.” Sasha was on the verge of crying.   
      “I hate being human… We’re so weak…” She mumbled. Were we really weak? We were emotional sacks of meat that could barely hold their own in a fight against a Titan. We were unpredictable, violent beings. We were corruptible and we were greedy. But…

      _“If we find ourselves nearby either of those spaces, I’ll take you three there.” I felt more than saw their smiles._  
 _“I’d like that.” Isabel mumbled._  
 _“Same.” Farlan replied._  
 _“Hmm.” Levi hummed in agreement. It looked like we were officially friends. The stars blinked on at us as I felt a little more content with life._

 _“Rhia, this isn’t funny, seriously.” He grumbled under his breath. “You know you’re my friend.”  
      _ _“Nah, she doesn’t need you, Farlan.” Isabel joined in with the teasing. “She’s got big bro and me!”  
      _ _“She never mentioned you, Isabel.” Farlan retaliated to get a rise out of her.  
      _ _“Hey, shut up, Farlan! She wants me with her! Right, Rhia?” She looked at me for confirmation. It almost killed me seeing the doubt in her eyes._

_“We know you said that you didn’t care but we trust you.”_

      _“Don’t leave.”_  
 _“Hm?”_  
 _“In answer to your question earlier. I… don’t… want you to leave. So don’t.”_

_“Shut up.” He growled, both of our cheeks pink (though his were very light pink and mine were practically tomato red). “Stop punishing yourself. It was the Titans and the bandits that killed them and all of the squad you were with. If you want someone to blame, blame them. We’ll be killing even more of them in a month’s time. So shut up.” Levi could be sweet in a very insulting way._

      _“We appreciate this, Rhia.” He said with a warm smile. I blinked at him._  
 _“Yeah, thanks, Rhia!” Sasha grinned, the rest of the group smiling or nodding at me to agree._

       _“Sorry.” I blinked at him. “For earlier as well. I… should have told you sooner.”_

      _“I’m-I’m fucking scum for even attempt-”_  
 _“Don’t you dare say that.” His sudden interruption made me blink._  
 _“What?”_  
 _“Don’t say you’re scum, stupid, didn’t you hear me?” I stared at him. “You’re not scum, not even a little bit, and if you are then we all are.”_

    _“We’re looking forward to our lessons with you tomorrow.” Eren smiled. Oh shit._  
 _“I… I won’t be teaching you anymore.” All three of them stared._  
 _“What do you mean?” Eren demanded. “Why not?”_  
 _“I-I told Erwin that I shouldn’t be teaching you anymore.”_  
 _“But why?” Armin looked genuinely hurt._  
 _“Why? Because I almost killed Mikasa today! I can’t risk doing that again to any of you. You’re better off with someone who can actually keep control and won’t hurt you guys.”_  
 _“You’re just gonna give us up to some stranger!?” Eren shouted._

       _“It’s good to have you back, Rhia.” Reiner grinned. “That guy was really irritating me.”_

      _"Humans are shitbags.” I scoffed._  
 _“They are, aren’t they? It sucks to be human.”_  
 _“It’s not so bad.”_  
 _“Well, the alternative isn’t exactly ideal so I guess it’s not.”_  
 _“That’s the spirit.” He said monotonously and I laughed, hiccoughing a little. “Aww.”_  
 _“Shut up, Levi.”_

      “Why wouldn’t you want to be human?” I said, gaining their attention. “Being human is being brave. It’s being decent. It’s being this… incredible mix of emotions. You can be absolutely terrified but determined at the same time. You can be devastated but grateful at the same time. You can be absolutely furious but completely in love at the same time. Humanity is… beautiful.” Sasha ended up crying and everyone was eating their meal contemplatively. Mikasa, however, was watching me with wide eyes.   
      “Are you okay, Mikasa?” I asked.   
      “I’m fine.” She dismissed it, turning away quickly. I left it alone.   
      “You all did tremendously well today for your first day. I’m… I’m really glad that you all made it back…”   
      “Armin and Reiner almost didn’t.” Jean piped up. “We’d managed to distract the Female Titan for a while but she found out where Eren was somehow and she ran off to find him.”   
      “You guys are true soldiers.” I complimented. “You’re only fifteen and you’re put your lives on the line for this…”   
      “It’s just what you’ve got to do.” Reiner said. I hummed.   
      “I’m proud of you all.” I summed up and rose to my feet. “I’m going to bed now. Long day tomorrow. You all need to rest up.” They bid me goodnight and I left for my room. Levi’s room was far from mine but I didn’t go to check on him. He needed time alone. When I lay on my bed, I cried properly for the first time in months. 


	4. Stohess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan to capture Annie is put into effect with astonishing results.

      The plan was simple. Lure Annie throughout the Stohess district and then go to the underground city. Being underground would stop her from being able to transform and we would capture her there. Eren was noticeably upset with the plan but we would continue it anyway. I had never met Annie but she had been part of the 104th Training Squad and had been somewhat close with the group, particularly Eren from what I could gather. Mikasa and Annie had never really gotten along but they had a respect for each other. Armin had been the one to suggest that it was Annie who was the Female Titan and while he felt guilty, he felt relatively certain. Because of Levi’s ankle, he would not be able to participate in the plan except for keeping up appearances. He would accompany Erwin and I would accompany Hanji. Everyone except Armin, Eren, Mikasa and Jean would be taken to the Southern districts of Wall Rose, in case there was an accomplice. I didn’t like the idea of Mikasa, Eren and Armin going into danger like that because there was a high chance that the plan would fail. There was a very high chance, according to Armin, that she would know that he was lying from the start. We would have to gamble everything we had on this and Erwin barely hesitated when he conceded. _I hope you know what you’re doing, Erwin…_ Despite being only fifteen, Armin was a brilliant strategist. He was like a fifteen year old Erwin, really. They even _looked_ similar.   
      “Rhia! You’re with me!” Hanji called with a smile as we waited outside Stohess. We’d use our 3DMG to hide from the Military Police and then we’d be ready to keep an eye on the three.   
      “I’m here.” I replied, walking over. Our gear was hidden beneath our cloaks and we hurried into position. We were close to the underground entrance that the four ex-trainees would enter, though we couldn’t see it.   
      “So… It’s been a while since we had a good chat.” Hanji observed.   
      “It has, hasn’t it? There’s been a lot going on.” I replied.   
      “Yeah… Well, no time like the present for a catch up!” She grinned.   
      “Mm. How’s everything with you?”   
      “Oh, it couldn’t be better!” No, that wasn’t even sarcastic, Hanji was genuinely enjoying herself. “The experiments were going great until Bean and Sonny were killed but Eren has really helped me out with his shifting too!”   
      “That’s awesome, Hanji.” I smiled. “I’m glad someone can find something good about all of this. Any breakthroughs?”   
      “Well, the Female Titan certainly is one! I thought that she’d be exhausted constantly from all that fighting and shifting all the time but she wasn’t! Her hardening ability is incredible as well! This isn’t the first time Annie has transformed, that’s for sure. She’s done it before and she probably did it a lot when she was younger.”   
      “When she was younger?”   
      “Yeah, she couldn’t get that skill and endurance if that was her first time! I mean, Eren lasted for a long time when he did his first transformation in Trost but he was completely out of it when he shifted back, right? Annie, on the other hand, managed to shift twice without tiring nor did she display any kind of absence of intelligence like Eren did after multiple transformations. Plus, she could use the 3DMG after her transformation. That doesn’t just come to you naturally. She probably had extensive training when she was still a kid.” I blinked.   
      “That… makes sense. I’ve never actually told you this but Hanji, you’re really smart. Wow, that sounded dumb…” Hanji laughed instead.   
      “I have to be smart to do this! Though most people call me dumb for experimenting on Titans…” I shook my head.   
      “I don’t think you’re dumb. What you’re doing is crazy but it’s helping out humanity, right? I think you’re really brave, to be honest.” Hanji’s smile dropped from a fully-fledged grin to a soft smile.   
      “No-one’s ever said that to me.” She muttered. “You’re awesome.” I flushed.   
      “I wouldn’t say so but… Thanks.” A huge crash came from nearby and lightning struck down. “One of them’s shifted! It’ll be Annie!” We peeked out from our hiding place. She towered over the buildings at thirteen metres. Now that I could see her in broad daylight rather than the shade of the trees, I could see just how muscular she really was. She looked similar to the Colossal Titan with the amount of muscle on show but she had armour on some of her skin like the Armoured Titan. The skin that covered bits of her body was akin to Eren’s Rogue Titan and the fact that she had lank hair like Eren’s secured that fact. It was almost like she was a mixture of all of them…   
      “What’s going on?” Hanji wondered aloud.   
      “Looks like she twigged the plan, like Armin suspected.” I mused. “Eren will be shifting any moment now…” But he didn’t. We waited for a solid minute and there was no sound. Annie had stomped on the underground passage, hoping to intercept the three, I presumed.   
      “She could kill Eren!” My companion exclaimed. “She’s risking everything she has to capture Eren, even if she might end up killing him in the process.”   
      “They’re trapped in the underground passage now… If they fly out of the hole, she’ll target them immediately. If they run out of the entrance, she’ll stamp on them and take Eren.” My hands were clammy with nervousness and I rubbed them together.   
      “If Eren can’t transform, they’re sitting ducks.” Hanji said. “The only feasible way that they could escape, assuming that the way into the city has been blocked by the rubble, is if they split up and leave out of the hole _and_ the entrance at the same time… But then at least one of them will die.”   
      “Mikasa and Armin will try to leave to give Eren time to transform.” I contributed. “They wouldn’t let him leave, he’d be in too much danger.”   
      “So either we lose one of our strongest soldiers in our history or we lose one of our most brilliant minds in our history… Either way it’s a huge blow.” Hanji was thinking in strategic terms; which would cost humanity the most? I, however, was scared shitless for them simply because I cared for them. Not saying that Hanji didn’t care for them, obviously, of course she did. But she had not spent as much time with them as I had and hadn’t seen them grow into true soldiers like I had. _It’s like Isabel and Farlan all over again, isn’t it?_ Dear god, I hoped not. It was incredibly likely they’d die in the next few minutes and I was in no way prepared for their deaths. _Please, please, let them live…_ A crack of lightning. Eren had joined the fight, bursting through the stone and attacking Annie. She went sailing backwards and fell into a temple. Even from where I was, I could register her horror as she looked down. _She must have crushed everyone in there…_ She scrambled to her feet and sprinted away, Scouts following her. She swatted at them and crushed them until Mikasa came swooping in, landing a hefty slice on her jaw.   
      “Hanji.” I grunted. “She’s heading for the wall, she’s going to try to escape.”   
      “Yep, let’s head off now.” We shot the harpoons and hurtled after her.   
      “Flat land ahead!” Someone shouted. Our 3DMG would be useless there. Shit. We landed on a house overlooking the space as Eren came sprinting in to follow.   
      “Looks like this time around he managed not to lose his self after transforming.” Hanji observed. “In this case… Let’s believe that Eren will buy us enough time!” She then addressed all of the soldiers that had accumulated around the area. “SPLIT UP INTO TWO GROUPS! SECURE THE FEMALE TYPE NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!” Annie turned abruptly and got into her fighting stance, one that I’d never seen before. Eren reciprocated and went in for an almighty punch. Annie retaliated with a kick that landed before Eren’s punch could. It took off his leg from below the knee. Even with the disability, his fist hit her. Despite the fact that she raised her hand to deflect the blow, it made its mark and she sailed backwards. She recovered quickly and kicked high, her foot sinking into his face. When she didn’t lower her foot after sending him into the building, I peered to see better. Eren’s teeth had sank into her flesh, preventing her from moving.   
      “Now’s our chance!” Someone yelled. “Go round the back!” Annie punched Eren over and over until he released her and she ran away towards the wall. She wasn’t chancing anything now. She was going to try to escape rather than capture Eren. She leaped into the air and her fingers dug into the wall. _She’s climbing the wall!  
      _ “We’ve got to stop her!” I shouted, readying the harpoons.   
      “You can’t get to her, she’s in open space!” A stranger warned.   
      “I can use the wall!”   
      “She’s getting away!” I looked over at Armin and Mikasa.   
      “I won’t let her!” Mikasa bit out determinedly. Eren had joined us and he was watching her climb.   
      “Mikasa, wait!” Armin shouted. She turned. There were soldiers hanging around at the base of the wall, unable to move upwards.   
      “Eren, throw Mikasa up!” He looked down at us, his huge eyes shifting to focus on Mikasa. He seemed oddly reluctant to do it but Mikasa had already jumped for his hand. He quickly caught her and after another pause, he threw her towards the wall. She sailed through the air gracefully, hooking an anchor into the wall near Annie’s head, and sliced straight through Annie’s fingers. Annie still clutched the wall with her remaining hand but Mikasa cut through them. She landed on Annie’s head and the Female Titan fell to the ground, Mikasa now perching against the wall. I hurried over as Eren quickly held her down. Her arms and legs were chopped off and her nape was ripped open. Just as we were about to remove Annie, an explosion blinded us all for a few moments.   
      “Argh!” I grunted and turned my head away, raising my arm to shield my eyes. When I looked back, Annie was encased in some sort of crystal, one that was like the substance that acted as armour when she protected her hand or her neck. I finally got to have a good look at her. She was small, probably the same size as me, and she was pretty. Her blonde hair was up and her eyes were closed. She had a pronounced nose and as I walked over slowly, I could see a tiny tear crystalised on her cheek. I had never met this girl and yet my heart ached for her. _You’re going soft_. I really was. These kids weren’t good for me. I laid a hand on the crystal when I heard a crumbling sound. Everyone’s eyes turned to the wall where Mikasa was still hanging. The wall crumbled away next to her and my breath shot out of me. Half the face of a Titan was revealed. Armin was pulling Eren out of his Titan form and I knew that I was supposed to be helping him but I could scarcely breathe. People pushed past me to tie down the crystal and get to work in hacking it open and I backed away, keeping my eyes fixed on the Titan.   
      “Oh my…” I whispered. The only reason I could see the Titan’s face was because I was standing at such a point that I could see behind the steam of the decomposing Titan’s bodies. People were shouting and insulting at Annie but I couldn’t hear them properly. All that mattered was that there was a _Titan in the wall_. How many more could there be? Were they in every wall? How did they get in there? Absently, I could hear cries of horror and shouts of panic. Other people must have been able to see the Titan now. Mikasa was still up there, in shock perhaps.   
      “MIKASA!” I shouted as loudly as I could. I could just about see her head turn to me and she made her way down to me.   
      “Rhia… I don’t understand… It... It looked at me...” She muttered, trying not to show how affected she was.   
      “Neither do I, but… judging by that priest over there with Hanji,” I gestured to the pair who were talking quickly, “he must know… He’s part of that religious group that talks about sanctifying the walls.”   
      “They always tell us to keep away from the walls, don’t they? He must know then.” Mikasa growled, going to stride over and threaten him to tell the truth.   
      “Mikasa.” I laid a hand on her shoulder. “They’ll no doubt have a reason for it. We’ll deal with it though. For now, go with Armin and Eren. He’ll be recovering now and he’ll need you there.” She paused but nodded and left to find them. Vaguely, I could hear Hanji shouting orders to get the biggest pieces of fabrics around and stitch them together to hang over the Titan. I stared up at the face again. Its face was red and it seemed unresponsive but the longer its face was uncovered, the more it seemed to focus its eyes. I swallowed thickly. _We thought we were safe inside the walls. Even here we’re surrounded by Titans_. I felt a hand on my shoulder.   
      “Rhia. You okay?” Hanji was watching me closely.   
      “Yeah. Just… You know. A little surprised, you know?” Hanji managed a weak chuckle.   
      “Yeah, tell me about it… We’re gonna cover its face up, apparently it’s absolutely mandatory that we do so. Sunlight can’t shine on it. I want to you to go find Erwin and Levi and tell them what’s happened.” I nodded.   
      “Will do. Keep an eye on Mikasa, yeah? She’s more shaken than she’s letting on.”   
      “She’s going back to HQ with the other soldiers. Ride with them and it’ll take you straight to Erwin and Levi. But I’ll make sure to keep an eye on her, on all of them when I can.”   
      “Thanks, Hanji.”   
      “No problem.” I headed over to a carriage as Annie’s crystal was tied to horses and taken away. Inside, Eren was completely out of it and using Mikasa’s lap as a pillow and Armin’s lap as a mattress.   
      “How’s he doing?” I questioned as I made myself comfortable, tapping on the window behind me. The carriage started moving.   
      “He’ll need time to recover. He’s still not used to transforming.” Armin informed me.   
      “Perhaps the more he does it, the more he’ll get used to it. Or maybe it’s just him. Who knows?” We sat in silence until my curiosity got the better of me. “What was Annie like?” Armin blinked.   
      “She was… lonely.” He sighed. “She kept to herself most of all but she hung around Reiner and Bertholdt a lot. She trained in hand to hand with Eren. In the top ten ranking, she came fourth.” I cocked my head.   
      “Who was in the top ten?”   
      “Mikasa was first. Reiner and Bertholdt came next and then Annie did. Eren was fifth and Jean was after him. One of our friends called Marco was sixth and then it was Connie, Sasha and Krista, I think.”   
      “Wait, so… they were all in the top ten and they chose the Survey Corps instead of the Military Police? Why?”   
      “Eren made a morality speech, basically.” Mikasa butted in, rolling her eyes lightly. I chuckled.   
      “Sounds like him. I know that Eren always wanted to join the Scouts but I didn’t know about the rest of you…”   
      “Everyone else wanted to be in the MP as well.” Armin admitted. “Especially Jean. His decision to join the MP was what formed the hostility between Eren and Jean actually. But when… When Marco died during Trost, Jean changed his mind.”   
      “Wow…” I murmured. “You guys never fail to surprise me. Just when I think I’ve gotten you down, something else crops up.” I thumbed Greyjoy’s tooth beneath my shirt. _I wonder how they’d react if I told them all of my own secrets…_ Pity, probably. I’d have to remember not to reveal any skin on my back around them. Training was a nightmare when I had to keep that in mind. _You shouldn’t be ashamed of those scars anymore. You should wear them like armour. Don’t be ashamed of what happened to you. Let the world see what it’s done to you and that it didn’t beat you_. Incredibly, that didn’t sound so appealing at the time.   
      “Annie’s good though, right?” Both Armin and Mikasa looked at me strangely. “She’s… she’s got heart. Right?”   
      “Yes. I think… She’s got a lot of love but she can’t give it to just anyone.” Armin confessed. “Annie’s a good person to me. She may not be a good person to Mikasa or to you but she’s good to me.” Mikasa didn’t say anything.   
      “I think I would have liked her.” I decided.   
      “I think you would have as well.” The rest of the ride was in silence. When we arrived back at HQ, Armin and Mikasa carried Eren to his room and I headed up to Erwin’s office where my friends would undoubtedly be. There was a lot of confusion in the corridors as I walked and every now and then, people would ask me what was happening, whether it was true that Annie had crystallised herself, that we definitely had more than one shifter within the walls now. I ignored every question. I reached Erwin’s door and knocked.   
      “Enter.” I opened the door and walked in. “Rhia. I’ve received dozens of reports of what happened, though they’re not all strictly accurate.” Erwin was sitting in his chair as usual and Levi was leaning against a bookcase.   
      “Annie knew that Armin was lying from the start.” I explained. “She shifted and tried to get Eren while he was still inside the underground entrance. Hanji and I speculated that because Eren took so long to shift (possibly because he was reluctant to fight Annie), Armin and Mikasa were going to sacrifice themselves to give Eren more time to transform. Eventually, he did and he knocked Annie back. She flattened a temple. She started running away and she cut down a few soldiers as she made her way to flat ground where we couldn’t get her. Eren and Annie fought a bit more but Annie managed to start climbing the wall. It looked like she was going to give up trying to capture Eren. Eren then threw Mikasa up to Annie and she cut off her fingers. Annie fell and was immobilised but before we could extract her from the nape, she used her hardening ability to envelop herself in crystal which is, from what we can tell, indestructible. The stone on the wall started crumbling away from Annie’s attempted escape and… there was a Titan in the wall. A priest from the Wall Worshipers was talking to Hanji about it and they’re going to cover it up. That’s all I know.” Erwin nodded.   
      “That coincides with the general gist of the other reports, thank you, Rhia.” He spoke as he wrote notes down. “How is Eren?”   
      “He’s recovering in his room right now.”   
      “Good. We’ll let him rest. There’ll be a meeting in an hour concerning the events of today so I need to get ready for it. When will the crystal arrive at the dungeons?”   
      “Ten to twenty minutes, sir.”   
      “I see. Levi, Rhia, I’d like you to receive it. Make sure it’s pristine and… control the soldiers as well. They won’t appreciate Annie’s presence after her actions.” I nodded.   
      “Yes, sir.” Levi nodded as well and we left the office.   
      “Sounds like you had quite a day.” He observed as we walked.   
      “I suppose you could say that.” I sighed, stretching my arms.   
      “What happened when the Titan appeared in the wall?”   
      “Well, Mikasa was still hooked into the wall where Annie had fallen. She’d managed to climb quite high, it was near the top. Bits of stone were crumbling away from the wall and then we saw the face. Well, Mikasa and I did. The steam from the empty Titans was covering it from other people. We could only see about half of its face. The longer the sunlight was on it, the more it seemed to focus on what was happening. It was… surprising, to say the least.”   
      “Hm, I’d imagine it was.”   
      “I think Mikasa is more affected by it than she’s letting on. I guess that’s a habit of hers. It’s a habit of yours too.”   
      “Hm.”   
      “Thinking about it, it’s probably a habit of Annie’s too.”   
      “How’d you mean?”   
      “Well, considering the fact that she’s a Titan shifter and she’s been described as lonely, she probably keeps everything inside. She’d just done that expedition yesterday and she’s expected to continue as if it’s fine and that she hasn’t failed her personal mission. I’d say that means she’s used to hiding what she feels.” Levi looked at me.   
      “You’re fucking weird, you know that?”   
      “Yeah, I guess. It comes with being an outsider, I guess. We’re all a little crazy.”   
      “You’re not as crazy as Four Eyes so that’s something.”   
      “Wow, you sure know how to compliment the ladies.”   
      “Don’t you know it.” When we reached the dungeons, the crystal was already tied up and people were glaring at the girl who was trapped inside.   
      “Little bitch…” I heard one man bite out.   
      “What did you just say?” I whipped my head around to him. He was startled.   
      “U-uh…”   
      “Did you just call her a ‘little bitch’?” I growled.   
      “Y-yes-”   
      “How dare you. Show some fucking respect, you animal. She’s a fifteen year old girl and you’re playing the pissy wounded dog. Get out of my fucking sight.” He blinked.   
      “M-ma’am, I-”   
      “Get out of my sight!” I ordered louder.   
      “B-but-”   
      “NOW!” He scurried away. “Does anyone else want to swear at her? Hm? Anyone else want to scream at her through a rock? Because if you do, you can fuck right off.” Everyone remained silent. “Good. Now do your fucking jobs.” They all stood to attention, too frightened to even look at each other. Lights were used to illuminate the crystal and we all stared at the rock in silence. Would she be able to hear us in there? Was she comatose? Could she dream in there? Could she hear every accusation and nasty remark made? I hoped that she couldn’t. _You could tell her everything. You could tell her everything about you and she wouldn’t be able to say or do anything. She might not even be able to hear you but it’d be a good source of closure, wouldn’t it?_ I don’t need closure. If I ever need to speak to someone, I have Levi. _There’ll come a day when he gets sick of it. And besides, there’s one thing you can never talk to him about._ If that’s a reference to how I feel about him… _If you could tell anyone, who would you tell?_ Other than Levi if I knew he felt the same? Mika-no. I couldn’t tell her. She wouldn’t understand. She despises him. Hanji would never stop teasing me about it and she’d probably end up letting it slip in conversation. I’m not even going to consider Erwin. I didn’t know Nanaba that well. _Mike_. Mike was a great listener. He was usually the confidante to go to. Mike was nice too and he wouldn’t tease me about it. _Tell him, then, when he gets back with the 104th Squad_. A sudden rush of affection for him filled me and I restrained myself from smiling. Even from the very beginning, right when I joined the Scouting Legion, he’d looked out for me. I was looking forward to seeing him again. The door burst open and we turned. A woman, Touma, was breathing heavily.   
      “Wall Rose has been breached!” I exhaled sharply, forgetting how to breathe. _Wall Rose… breached? How? It’s 845 all over again…_  
      “How?” Levi demanded.   
      “We don’t know! As far as we know, there’s been no appearance from the Colossal Titan or the Armoured Titan but the damage is suspected to be near the Southern districts!” The Southern districts!?   
      “That’s where the 104th Squad is!” I exclaimed.   
      “That’s where I just came from! The word is being spread around villages to evacuate civilians and the hole will be searched for!”   
      “Thank you, Touma.” Levi nodded and she saluted before leaving. “Come on, let’s find Erwin, he’ll give us orders.” He addressed the rest of the soldiers. “Guard her with your lives. If you use your dirty mouths again, I’ll know about it and Rhia will act on it.” I noticed them gulp. “Let’s go.” We walked as briskly as we could to the meeting with Levi’s injury. The room was in panic when we arrived.   
      “Levi! Rhia!” Erwin shouted over the noise. “We’re heading out to the breach!”   
      “All of us?” I questioned as he and Hanji escaped, Hanji dragging the priest from earlier with her.   
      “All of us. Rhia, go and get Eren and Mikasa and meet us outside the front. There’ll be a wagon. We leave in ten minutes, don’t be late.” I nodded and sprinted down the stairs to the dungeons before I went to Eren and Mikasa.   
      “We’re leaving HQ now.” I informed the soldiers. “Give me a minute alone with her.” The soldiers hesitated but left. I approached the crystal and laid a hand on it.   
      “Turns out there’s been another breach, this time in Wall Rose. We’re all heading out there, including Eren. If you wake up before we get back, I need you to be strong for us, Annie. I want you to wait for me to get back before you say anything to anyone. I don’t know when I’ll be back but if you wake before I am, someone will be sent to me to notify me. Stay strong and don’t take any shit from anyone.” I made to turn around. “I’ve just realised you don’t know my name. If you can hear me, I’m Rhia. I’ll see you when you wake up.” I left the room. “If she wakes up before I’m back, send a messenger to find me. I don’t want anyone hurting or talking to that girl until I get back. Do you understand?” They nodded. “Good. We’ll be back. Eventually.” I ran as fast as I could to Eren’s room on the next floor. When I burst in, Eren was already awake, though he was disorientated.   
      “Rhia?”   
      “Eren, get up, Mikasa, help him. There’s been a breach in Wall Rose. You both need to come with me.” I stood outside the door so that they could get dressed and we hurried up to the wagon. We were very close to being late. We climbed into the wagon and I breathed deeply. I sat between the priest, Nick, and Levi. Things were tense between Levi, Hanji and Nick and I sighed.   
      “I’m going to take this opportunity to catch some sleep.” I mumbled.   
      “Good idea.” Levi replied. Mikasa wrapped a blanket around Eren to keep him warm and handed me one. Levi helped me wrap it around me and as sleep started to take over, my head rested on Levi’s shoulder. He didn’t move it and I feel asleep to the rocking of the wagon as we set off to this mysterious breach.  


	5. The Pursuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scouts give chase to find the breach and to track down the other Titan shifters that have come to their knowledge.

      When I woke up, it was dark and everyone was still sitting in silence. I shifted with a muffled groan and pushed the blanket off of me. The longer I sat underneath the blanket, the more tired I would become. Mikasa took it and placed it beside her as I stretched my limbs as best as I could in the cramped conditions of the wagon.   
      “Did I miss anything?” I yawned.   
      “Just a tense ride.” Levi summarised. “You slept well.”   
      “For once.” I scoffed. No-one spoke for a few minutes.   
      “What are we supposed to do now?” Armin mumbled. “Wall Rose got breached all of a sudden, and now I… I don’t know what we should do anymore. Even if we manage to deliver Eren to the frontlines, I doubt it will change anything anymore. And…” Armin peered at Nick. “Why do we… have a priest from the wall cult with us…?” Hanji laughed.   
      “Ah, that… Well, we’re friends with Nick here now, you see…” She remarked, slinging an arm around his shoulders in what looked like an affectionate gesture. It wasn’t; it was supposed to make him feel nervous.   
      “He knew about the Titans in the wall.” Hanji informed the three. “But ‘til now has been keeping silent about that amazing fact. I have no idea why, but he seems adamant about keeping his mouth tightly shut where the secrets of the wall that he knows are concerned even if he has to die for it… Apparently, the members of his sect know a lot of things about the wall.” Eren jumped to his feet furiously.   
      “Huh!? What the hell!?” He grunted suddenly, collapsing back in his seat. Mikasa helped him down.   
      “Stay put!” She scolded. “The after-effects of your Titan transformation aren’t gone yet!”   
      “I was going to ask some other sect members,” Hanji continued, “But he chose to come with us out of his own will. The situations has changed, so it seems after he had witnessed all that happened, he’s been having doubts about whether he should still follow the rules, so he wants to see the real state of affairs with his own eyes.” The three fifteen year olds stared at him shock.   
      “Wait, wait, wait, wait…” Eren said. “It’s just weird, you know? If you know something, please just tell us! What can be more important than preventing total annihilation of the human race!?”   
      “I wonder about that…” Hanji mused. “The pastor looks like an honest upstanding man to me… That’s why I think that maybe, just maybe, there might be a cause more important than preventing the downfall of humanity... “   
      “Well, from where I stand,” Levi interrupted, “This one seems to have guts. But what about the other fanatics from their little sect? I highly doubt all of them can boast this kind of willpower… Oh well. There’s lots of ways to make a person talk.” He fiddled with a gun beneath his coat. “I may be useless in combat right now… But I sure as hell am capable of keeping close tabs on one old man. So do us both a favour and don’t try anything that might result in new holes opening up in your body.” He leaned over and added, “On another note, Hanji, it’s news to me that you have a shady hobby of playing with rocks.” I glanced over at her. She was holding a rock in her hand, though it was an odd shape and looked somewhat familiar.   
      “Ah, well, I have, except… This is not your ordinary rock.” She explained. “It’s a piece of the Female Type’s hardened skin that was left behind.” Armin and Eren gasped.   
      “It didn’t disappear!?” Armin declared.   
      “Nope! It got cut off Annie’s Titan body when we tied her with ropes! Unbelievable, right? It didn’t evaporate and it didn’t disappear! And I had an epiphany!” We were all watching Hanji with intrigue. “When I compared this piece to the broken fragments of the wall, the crystal composition and the structure turned out really similar. In other words, the wall itself was made by the Colossal Type Titans who became its supporting pillars.” Nick’s head inclined. Apparently, Hanji hit the nail right on its head. What else did I expect? She was a genius.   
      “So it’s really just like Armin said…” Mikasa mused.   
      “Ah!” Armin said. “Then… Then-”   
      “Wait right there!” Hanji shoved a hand over his mouth.   
      “Mmf!”   
      “Allow me the honour to say it, Armin!” She smiled. “As it is now, it’s gonna be difficult to plug Wall Rose up, right? Because there’re just no boulders huge enough. But… What if… the transformed Eren could plug the breach using that Titan ability to harden their bodies?” Eren gasped.   
      “Plugging the breach with my body!?” He cried.   
      “The material properties are identical. So after you undo your transformation, what will be left behind is a huge fossilised statue that won’t evaporate or disappear. What if it could actually be possible?”   
      “That’s what I’ve been mulling over, you know…” Armin mumbled. “I think it’s well worth gambling on that possibility. And if we could use that repeatedly then even our chances of conquering Wall Maria will look lighter! The standard approach in use today required the Scouts to bring a lot of raw materials at first. So there was a need to have a lot of staff and to plan supply routes; any progress forward could be made only after establishing supply points along the way… That’s the approach that would take twenty years to come to fruition. But if the need to bring carts along is eliminated… Then I believe it may be possible to make a beeline for the Shiganshina district.” I would never be able to get over how smart humanity could be. Two genius’ sitting across from each other, talking back and forth and theorising together. If Erwin was here, the the trio would be complete. Although, Hanji was a scientist and Erwin was a strategist, Armin was a mixture of the both of them. How odd.   
      “I see…” Hanji held her hand up to her mouth; her thinking pose. “With a small group, we could make it all the way to Wall Maria in no time... “   
      “How about we carry out the outside-the-wall operation at night?” Armin proposed. See? Genius.   
      “At night…?” Hanji repeated.   
      “Yes! Titans can’t move at night!” He got more excited as he explained. “I’m aware that torchlights aren’t enough of a light source to run at full speed at night but even at a slowed pace, a small group has a chance to make it to Wall Maria before dawn.” Hanji looked down at the rock. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking but she had a soft smile on her face.   
      “Even though our situations is desperate as never before, there’s still hope…” She whispered.   
      “Yes… Only…” Armin looked at Eren. “Everything rests on the gamble that Eren would be able to plug the wall.” Eren’s eyes widened.   
      “I doubt he could give us a definite answer even if we asked… But still, do you think you can do it?” All eyes were on Eren.   
      “Y-yeah…” He stammered.   
      “It’s not about if he could do it or not.” Levi said. “Do it. You must do it, you have no choice. You’re aware of the situation we’re all in. At this point, the Legion can’t do anything other than its damnest. So make sure you succeed.”   
      “Yes, sir!” Eren, as always, was a determined kid. “I will plug the breach without fail! Without fail…” He pulled the key out from beneath his shirt. “I’m fed up with not knowing what the hell’s going on. First, I’ll plug Wall Rose… Then, I’ll plug Wall Maria, and after that… The basement. If what my old man said about every answer being there is true then there should also be some clues there as to his whereabouts. All the answers are there, I know… When I reach there, I will finally know where I should direct the anger boiling in me…” Did I mention that he’s also a very angry kid?   
      “The Hermiha district. We’re almost there.” Hanji said. I looked up. The district was getting closer.   
      “Our stop, then.” Levi announced. “This is as far as me, Rhia and the pastor can go with you. I’ll leave everything to you. You’re the members of the impromptu squad chosen by Erwin, after all. I trust you get your role, Armin? Keep coming up with ideas with Hanji like you did.”   
      “Y-yes, sir!”   
      “Mikasa, you use your every ability to protect Eren.” Mikasa appeared to be shocked. _She probably expected Levi to hate her for causing his injury. He’s stuck here without being able to help out.  
      _“Yes, sir. I will.” She said determinedly.   
      “I don’t know why you’re so attached to Eren, but remember to control yourself. Don’t make another blunder.”   
      “Yes, sir. I will make sure there won’t be any.” Mikasa’s attachment to Eren was astonishingly similar to my attachment to Levi, I realised. There seems to be no end to how similar we both are. Perhaps Mikasa’s in love with Eren as well? I would ask her about it at some point. Maybe when all this was over. When we arrived, I hopped off ahead of everyone else and met Moblit up ahead. We walked through the street and into a stable shelter.   
      “You’re staying here then?” I nodded. “Looks like you’ll be looking after that priest with Levi then. I’m with Hanji.”   
      “You’re her right hand man, Moblit. Where would she be without you? You’re always there to keep her from sticking her head into Titans’ mouths.” Moblit chuckled sheepishly.   
      “Yeah, I guess. Just part of the job. I guess I’m her babysitter.”   
      “You’re doing a great job at keeping her out of trouble. Well, more trouble than she’s usually in, I mean.”   
      “Heh, thanks, Rhia. You’ve kept Levi out of trouble quite a bit.”   
      “He’s got a bad ankle and I couldn’t protect him.” I muttered. “That’s not quite ‘keeping him out of trouble’, is it?”   
      “Well, he’s not trying to beat people up, is he? He’s not rushing into danger, is he?” I shrugged.   
      “If his ankle was fine, trust me, he would be.” Moblit looked up as Eren and Hanji arrived. “Eren, are you well enough to ride a horse?” Moblit is underrated, I think. Hardly anyone actually knows his name but he’s always there, usually in the background. If it weren’t for him, Hanji would probably have died a long time ago just from her recklessness.   
      “Yes… I’m more or less back to normal.” Eren assured him.   
      “That’s good, Eren. We’re gonna need you in top condition.” I smiled.   
      “Preparations for us to use the Westside rift have been made. Let’s hurry.” I clapped them both on the shoulder.   
      “Good luck out there. If anything goes wrong, I’ll be sent for and I’ll be there within a day.”   
      “Squad leader, we need to hurry.” Moblit called to Hanji.   
      “Moblit, I’ll be with you in a sec.” She looked at Nick. “Did you… Did you perhaps have a change of heart?” Nick didn’t respond and Hanji’s patience snapped. “THERE’S NO TIME ANYMORE! YOU REALISE THAT, RIGHT!? DECIDE ALREADY IF YOU’RE GOING TO TALK OR NOT! I’M BEGGING YOU!”   
      “I cannot tell you anything.” Nick replied sadly and I sighed. “I expect the other members will not talk nor change their minds.”   
      “WELL, THANK YOU! GOING THROUGH ALL THE TROUBLE JUST TO TELL ME THIS IN THE END! THAT HELPED US TONNES!”   
      “This was…” Nick spoke very softly, regret dripping from his words. “This was a very grave decision for me. The burden we are saddled with is heavy. Our system of ironclad has been existing for generations, and we can entrust the secrets of the wall only to certain blood relatives. None of us can tell you anything. However… I shall tell you the name of the person who can reveal those secrets to you.”   
      “Shifting the responsibility to someone else to protect yourselves and your organisation, huh?”   
      “Yes…” He whispered. “Five years ago, that person had been dragged into a strife between her relatives which caused her to go into hiding under an assumed name. The girl herself does not know anything yet, but she has the right to choose to speak publicly about whatever wall secrets are known to her. I heard she joined the Scouting Legion this year. Her name is… Krista Lenz.” My jaw dropped.   
      “H-her, of all people!?” Eren exclaimed.   
      “Eh? Who?” Hanji asked.   
      “Go find her.” Nick continued. “She might even know the truth unknown even to us… Only… It is up to her to decide to tell you or not what she knows… Revealing her name to you is the only compromise I can afford to make. The rest shall depend on you.”   
      “That girl…” Hanji wondered aloud. “If she’s from the 104th Trainees Squad, this means… She’s on the frontlines right now…” Eren turned and started to run.   
      “Let’s hurry!” He cried. “We need to get to the breached area as soon as possible anyway!”   
      “Wait a sec! I still don’t know all the names of our new members who came from your 104th Trainees Squad, so could you, uh…”   
      “It’s the most petite girl!” Eren described.   
      “She has long blonde hair and, um… Ah, she’s pretty!” Armin added.   
      “She’s the girl who always hangs around with Ymir!” Mikasa finished.   
      “Eh? Ymir!?” Hanji ran after them, leaving me, Levi and Nick behind. I looked at them.   
      “Come on. Let’s get settled in.” We made our way to an inn that was being used solely by the military. We were the only Scouts in there - the rest were from the Garrison and the Military Police. Rather than stick around, we headed upstairs to a quieter place. In another few hours, the sun would rise and Titans would become active again. I hoped that the mission could be completed before that happened though.   
      “See if you can get a few hours in.” Levi ordered as we walked to our rooms. “I’ll be in my room if a messenger comes.” He went into his room, leaving Nick and I alone. I’ll admit I was disappointed. I hadn’t gotten the chance to really talk to him since the 57th expedition. _He’s still in mourning, you moron._    
      “Come on. I’d like to talk to you before you get some sleep, if that’s okay.” Nick didn’t respond but he let me into his room anyway. He practically collapsed on the side of his bed with a heavy sigh, holding his head in his hands.   
      “Have I betrayed them?” He whispered hoarsely. I carefully sat beside him.   
      “I don’t think you have, but… If you have, I don’t think you were wrong to. Hanji can be good at getting information when she wants to. What you’ve done has really helped us out, Nick.” He sniffed loudly.   
      “I’m a disgrace…” Tentatively, I placed a hand on his back.   
      “You’re not a disgrace. Like Hanji said, you’re an honest and upstanding man. I think you’re a good man.” He straightened up and exhaled deeply.   
      “Why are you doing this?”   
      “What do you mean?”   
      “Why are you helping me?” I blinked.   
      “Well… I thought that was what humans did, right? Help each other? So I’m helping you.” He stared at me.   
      “You’re in love with that man, aren’t you?” My cheeks flushed.   
      “W-what? What are you-”   
      “The Captain, Levi. I can see it in your eyes when you look at him. He doesn’t seem like a very approachable man.” _Is there any point in denying it?_ I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, which was difficult since it was still up.   
      “Heh, you’re the only person who sees it.” I muttered. “And no, he really isn’t very approachable, is he? It’s just how he was raised, don’t take it personally. He’s a rude asshole to everyone he meets.”   
      “Was he rude to you when you met?” _Why is he so curious?_  
      “No… Well, I pissed him off a little bit but that was quickly forgotten. He was surprisingly kind when we met, actually.”   
      “And he’s changed over the years?”   
      “If he has, I haven’t noticed it. He’s more or less the same he’s ever been. Of course, every expedition, we lose more people we care about which makes us different. Being outside the walls, it’s… You see your comrades die right in front of you in the most terrible of ways. I don’t know if you know this, but I was raised outside the walls. As in, outside Wall Maria.”   
      “I’d heard about it, yes.” I tilted my head and looked at him.   
      “You’re surprisingly easy to talk to, you know that, Nick?”   
      “I am?”   
      “Mmhm. You’re approachable.” He seemed shocked. “Sorry, I should probably let you sleep now.” I stood up and his hand shot out to my wrist.   
      “No, please! Stay. I want to hear more about the outside. It’ll keep my mind off of what I’ve done.” Hesitantly, I sat down again.   
      “What do you want to know?”   
      “Tell me everything about you.”   
      “ _Everything?_ ”   
      “Everything. We’re going to end up dead soon anyway. I won’t tell a soul, I’ll take your secrets to the grave.”   
      “I don’t doubt that for a second.” He huffed a wheezy laugh. “Alright… I’ll start from the beginning, I guess.” And I told him everything. I told him about the outside, about my parents, about the bandits, about Greyjoy, about Isabel and Farlan, about Levi, about the scars on my back… By the time I was finished, the sky was beginning to lighten and the sun would rise in another hour or so. My throat hurt from talking so much and my mouth was a little dry but I had done it. I’d at last confided in someone about everything, even the little voice inside my head that Nick suggested was my ‘instinct personified’. It sounded pretty cool, if I’m honest.   
      “You’ve certainly had a busy life, haven’t you?” Nick summarised. I laughed.   
      “Yeah, I really have.”   
      “And you take your clothes with you everywhere? Your clothes from the outside, I mean? And your spear and knife?” I gestured the knife that was holstered to my thigh.   
      “Everywhere I go, they’re with me. They’re easy to compress into packs that I attach to the horses’ saddles. It’s sort of like bringing home with me wherever I go, you know?”   
      “I can understand that.” He yawned.   
      “I think I’d best leave you to go to sleep. We’ll be getting ready to depart in a few hours so try to get an hour or so in. I’ll be next door if you need anything.”   
      “Thank you, Rhia.”   
      “No, I think I ought to be saying thank you, Nick. Thanks for listening to me rambling for hours.”   
      “It was my pleasure.” I smiled.   
      “See ya later.” I managed to get an hour and a half in before I woke up. I wasn’t tired at all. After having breakfast, we met up with the Military Police in preparation. Jean, to my surprise, was there as well.   
      “Jean? Why are you here?”   
      “I couldn’t stay behind, could I?” He growled. “I came here with Erwin. He’s with Pixis at the moment.” I nodded.   
      “Alright… I’m not sure what the situation is at the moment.” Jean sank to sit on a crate.   
      “Is it true that there’s no Titan invasion?” He wondered.   
      “Looks like it.” A man said. “I, too, was thinking things are weirdly quiet for a Titan invasion.”   
      “Hey, hey…” A soldier from the Military Police spoke loudly. “We’ve come all the way here ‘cause it was supposed to be a full-blown emergency…”   
      “And look what we’ve found!” One of his companions continued. “It’s damn slow and peaceful ‘round here!” He turned to Levi, who was sitting in the wagon opposite a blanketed Nick. “Hey, Levi. Where’s our prey?”   
      “Oh? You guys look like you regret it’s peaceful here, huh?” He mocked. “Sorry for not providing you with a hot Titan date. Well, you may be outta luck this time around, but you know… there’s always plenty of opportunities to go outside the walls on a scouting expedition. So how about we all join forces and go fight Titans? You know, you and us, together, side by side?” I smirked at the MP’s reactions.   
      “We, uh, we have our work to do inland, you know, so-”   
      “THE VANGUARD SQUAD IS BACK!” A stranger came running in. “SOMEBODY, INFORM COMMANDER PIXIS!” The crowd stepped back to reveal Pixis and Erwin walking through, both clad in travelling cloaks.   
      “W-we found no abnormalities or breaches in the wall…” The messenger informed us.   
      “I see… I thought so.” Pixis declared.   
      “B-but the situation is grave anyway!” The messenger continued. “When we were on our way back to Trost to deliver our report, we encountered the Scouting Legion forces led by Hanji!” Hanji? Did they manage to find the others in time? Were they okay?   
      “They had several new recruits from the former 104th Trainees Squad not equipped with the 3D Maneuver Gear with them. Among those recruits, there were three… WHO TURNED OUT TO BE TITANS!” _Three of them!? Who else could have been a shifter!?_ Jean’s eyes were wide.   
      “What the hell are you saying!?” He demanded. “There were… more Titans among them!? Th-three, you say!? WHO!?”   
      “Jean, wait.” Erwin commanded. “What happened after their identities had been exposed?”   
      “THE SCOUTING LEGION ENGAGED THE COLOSSAL TITAN AND THE ARMOURED TITAN! WHEN WE JOINED IN THE BATTLE, IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE, AND, IN THE END… EREN AND ONE OF THE THREE TITANS WERE CAPTURED AND TAKEN AWAY!” I tried to swallow. _Eren… Who else had been taken?_    
      “Who were they?” I cried.   
      “Bertholdt Hoover and Reiner Braun were the Colossal and Armoured Titan! Ymir turned out to be a Titan as well, one that’s been dubbed the Dancing Titan! She was taken while she was unconscious!” _Oh my god… How were we so blind…  
      _“Who did we lose?” Erwin questioned.   
      “Many people, far too many people.” The messenger whispered. “Among those were… Mike and Nanaba…” _Oh please, no…  
      _“Levi, you will remain with the priest. Rhia, Jean, you’re with me. EVERYONE ELSE, WE DEPART IN FIVE MINUTES!” Erwin roared. As people pushed and shoved past me, I was still stuck in a blur. Reiner and Bertholdt… were the Armoured and Colossal Titans? How could that even be? That didn’t… _They look somewhat alike to their Titan forms, don’t you think? Just as Annie and Eren do to their forms_. Would Ymir be similar? I didn’t know Reiner and Bertholdt as well as I did the others but they seemed… ordinary… As for Ymir… I would never have guessed that she was a shifter. And Mike and Nanaba… My heart ached so much and I felt tears spring to my eyes. _You won’t get to talk to Mike. You won’t get to see either of them ever again._ Gasping for breath, I came back to my senses and I headed over to the wagon where Nick was still sitting and Levi was climbing into.   
      “Looks like I’m off again.” I muttered. We’d been separated far too much lately. I sighed.   
      “Do me a favour and don’t die.” Levi responded. “I’d like you to come back in top condition.” I rolled my eyes.   
      “Yes, sir.” I paused. “This might… This might prove too big for me. The Armoured Titan and the Colossal Titan against us? They’ll be able to call other Titans probably as well… This is a suicide mission, more so than usual.”   
      “Then don’t commit suicide. Play it safe.” I scoffed at him.   
      “It’s impossible to play it safe out there. There’s a big chance that I’m not going to make it back, Levi.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. He looked down at me from his seat.   
      “I know that you’re still in mourning for your Squad and for Petra, but-”   
      “For Petra?” He repeated with a light frown.   
      “Yes, for Petra. Weren’t you two…” He was confused. _You were wrong. You can rejoice later but for now, you look like an idiot_.   
      “Petra and Aururo were engaged, Rhia.” Oh shit. I blinked.   
      “O-oh… I didn’t…”   
      “You thought I was in love with Petra?” I shrugged sheepishly. “What made you think that?”   
      “Petra’s father mostly…”   
      “He was referencing her marriage to-”   
      “I know that now!” I snapped. “Jeez, I’m about to go and die for humanity and we’re arguing. A hell of a goodbye, huh?” He huffed a chuckle.   
      “Rhia.” Nick spoke and we both looked at him. “Please… Come back alive.” He patted my hand where it was resting on the bench he was sitting on. _Oh dear god, I suddenly feel very affectionate…_ Maybe it was the loss of Mike and Nanaba, but I jumped onto the wagon and embraced Nick quickly.   
      “Thank you for caring.” I whispered and withdrew. “I suppose I should go now.”   
      “You better come back to me.” Levi said and I whipped around to look at him. “Alive, please.” I laughed weakly.   
      “I can’t promise anything.” After a thought, I removed my left glove and handed it to Levi. “Take this. It’s a little more incentive for me to come back. And… if I don’t… It’s a little something to remember me by instead, right?” I could see Levi swallow.   
      “Aren’t I enough incentive?” He murmured, taking the glove carefully and brushing my fingers with his own.   
      “Of course you are. I think it’s safe to say you’re more important to me than a glove, you idiot.” His mouth quirked up a little.   
      “I should think so.” He paused and then stood up, practically nose to nose with me. “If you fucking die, I swear to the fucking wall, I’m going to kill you.”   
      “If I don’t make it back, I’ll see you on the other side. You can kill me then.” I smiled, almost breaking down there and then, and, tentatively, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’ve never given a hug before so I hope it isn’t shit.” His arms were around my waist immediately.   
      “It’s not bad.” He muttered into my hair. _Look at you. You’re hugging Levi._ Distantly, I could hear Erwin’s bellowing. I pulled back, my face pink, and looked at my feet.   
      “See you on the other side.” I whispered and hopped off the wagon, noting that his hand gripped mine for a split second. My heart beat was way off and I mounted my horse, not chancing a look back at Levi or Nick. I had to focus on the mission now.

It was a long journey but we eventually made to the wall. We rode along the top of it quickly and saw the soldiers up ahead. We picked up speed.   
      “COMMANDER ERWIN!” Someone announced as he dismounted his horse. I slid off my own and hurried up beside him.   
      “You arrived just in time, sir!” A man said.   
      “Is the situation the same?” Erwin questioned.   
      “Yes, sir!” A hand gripped my boot and Erwin’s and I looked down.   
      “Hanji!?” Erwin exclaimed.   
      “G-give me… the map…” She growled. Erwin laid it out on the floor and we all gathered around. Hanji was clearly in pain and still recovering from whatever happened but it didn’t stop her from reporting. I rubbed her back gently as she explained.   
      “There’s a forest of Giant Trees here,” She pointed at a point on the map, “Although it’s pretty small. That’s where you should head to. Well… I doubt the Armoured Titan would bother to cover his tracks in any case. Still… There’s a very good chance they’re heading there.”   
      “What makes you think so?” I asked.   
      “It’s a gamble but even if they have the power of their Titan form, they’re still in danger from other Titans outside the wall. After all the fighting they had to do, they must be pretty exhausted - not as much as Eren, but still… It seems that even Annie had slept for a long time after her rampage.” I wondered vaguely if Annie had woken up yet. “Now, let’s assume that their place of destination lies beyond Wall Maria. Let’s also add to that the fact that at the moment they have no stamina left to cover such a distance. With that taken into account, their immediate concern should be finding a place to rest where Titans won’t reach them! So that they can stay there at least until nightfall when Titans become unable to move. YOU HAVE TIME ‘TIL NIGHTFALL! IF YOU CAN MAKE IT TO THAT FOREST BEFORE NIGHTFALL, YOU JUST MIGHT BE ABLE TO CATCH UP WITH THEM!” We were lined up at the wall, surveying the stretch of land we had to cross to find Eren and Ymir. This was going to be dangerous…

The forest came into sight at last, after what felt like hours. It was late afternoon, early evening, and Erwin set off a flare to signal to everyone that the forest was in sight. With the combined forces of the Military Police, we’d look like an army coming into rescue Eren and Ymir. Combined with the fact that the MP were filled with the top ten soldiers from each other districts for the past fifty years or so, hopefully, this would work in our favour. That being said, almost all of the Military Police soldiers had never seen a Titan before. It was entirely possible that fear would take over them and either send them to a miscalculated death or back to the wall in panic. Whichever way you spin it, we were taking a gamble. We were approaching the forest at breakneck speed when all of a sudden, there was a flash from deeper within the trees. _One of them have shifted… It’s not Bertholdt, we’d be able to see his form towering over the trees.  
      _“EVERYONE SPLIT UP! FIND EREN AND TAKE HIM BACK!” Erwin hollered. “WE CAN ASSUME THAT THE ENEMIES HAVE ALREADY TRANSFORMED INTO TITANS! BATTLE IS NOT THE PRIORITY!” In all of the confusion, I had no idea where the 104th Squad were, but I couldn’t think about that now. “NO MATTER WHAT, RETRIEVAL MUST BE PRIORITISED!” I ditched the horse and deployed the 3DMG, soaring between the trees. A Titan was ahead, clinging to a tree. It looked… monstrous. Black beady eyes, long dark hair, sharp talons… It looked more like an animal than your average Titan…   
      “IT’S YMIR!” Connie shouted, landing next to her head. “IT’S YMIR’S TITAN FORM!” _That_ was _Ymir_? “Hey, Ymir! What happened!? Why are you alone!?” She wasn’t responding. “Where’s Eren!? What about Reiner… and Bertholdt!?”   
      “That’s Ymir!?” Armin echoed my own thoughts.   
      “Did she transform into a Titan and fight with the others?” Mikasa wondered.   
      “YMIR!” Jean bellowed, joining the fray. “Did you get away from Reiner and the others!? Where did he go!?” Ymir made no move to assure us whatsoever. She was looking at us all, one by one.   
      “Ymir, can you answer us?” I shouted over them. She didn’t.   
      “Hey!” Connie snapped. “Say something, you moron! We’re in a hurry!”   
      “Is she looking out for Reiner and the others?” Armin mused. “Something is… weird. Why is she looking at us like that, one by one?” Was she looking for someone? _Oh_.   
      “She’s looking for-” I started.   
      “YMIR!” Krista shouted with delight. Ymir’s head whipped around to see her.   
      “Thank goodness! You’re okay!” Krista - or Historia rather - looked so elated at seeing Ymir again. Ymir leaped off the tree and opened her mouth wide, Historia disappearing into her mouth, and snapped her jaw shut, her sharp teeth biting down on her cloak. The Dancing Titan swung away, jumping from tree to tree to escape.   
      “She… ate Krista…” Connie spluttered.   
      “DON’T JUST STAND THERE!” Jean ordered. “AFTER HER!” We accelerated after her. “So fast! She’s getting away!”   
      “Why did Ymir-” Mikasa began.   
      “I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS ON OUR SIDE TO BEGIN WITH!” Jean stated.   
      “Yeah… She’s clearly against us.” Armin admitted reluctantly. “SHE’S WORKING WITH REINER AND THE OTHERS! WE GOT TAKEN IN BY HER!”   
      “She may be working them right now, Jean, but don’t you _ever_ say that she was never on our side to begin with!” I hissed at him. “If you _ever_ say something like that about your comrade again, Kirchstein, I will stick these blades up your ass so high that you’ll be talking even more shit than you normally do.” He stared at me in shock. “Don’t test me when we’re on a suicide mission.”   
      “R-right…” Another flash up ahead. We reached the edge of the forest but could go no further. The Armoured Titan had made its arrival with Bertholdt on his shoulder, Eren strapped to his back and gagged.   
      “This is bad!” Armin yelled. “EREN’S BEING TAKEN AWAY!”   
      “DON’T STOP!” A man from the Garrison appeared, I think his name was Hannes and he was close with Mikasa, Armin and Eren. “USE THE HORSES, GO AFTER THEM!” Our horses appeared beneath us, having been lead around by others from the Garrison and we made our way down. With a hint of pride, I watched the 104th Squad remove their cloaks and use it as a parachute. We mounted our horses and set off again.   
      “WE’LL DEFINITELY GET HIM BACK!” Hannes assured us. I heard Erwin very faintly over the noise of hooves thundering on the ground and the rumble of footsteps from the Titans but I couldn’t make out the words. Everyone who was still alive and on horseback started to follow us.   
      “We can catch up to his speed!” Jean yelled. “We can make it in time!”   
      “But… If the Armoured Titan were to remove the hardened skin from his joint areas, he should be able to run faster!” Armin observed. “If he didn’t do that, he probably wouldn’t be able to run long distances, but at this rate, even if we catch up, we won’t be able to stop him!”   
      “No… We’ll manage somehow. This time, without hesitation… I will definitely kill them.” Mikasa vowed, her eyes shining with rage. “And if she gets in our way, Ymir is no exception either. No matter what it takes, I have to…” We caught up to Reiner and we deployed our gear, sailing through the air towards Bertholdt, Eren and Ymir. To my surprise, Krista was there as well and she was protecting Ymir. _So she kept Krista in her mouth like Annie did to Eren…_ Krista- Historia, I mean - was the person who knew secrets about the wall… Was that why Ymir had captured her? No, it went deeper than that… Ymir loved Historia, that I was certain about… But there was more than one motive here and my head was already hurting so I ignored it and landed on Reiner just as the rest of the 104th Squad started shouting at them.   
      “Bertholdt! GIVE HIM BACK!” Mikasa pleaded.   
      “It’s a lie, isn’t it, Bertholdt!? Reiner!?” Connie yelled. “Were you fooling us all along, up until now!? That’s cruel…” I swung down to where Hannes was since he was one of the only people who any clue what was going on.   
      “Hannes! What’s the situation?” I shouted, leaping onto my horse. I slipped a little and nearly lost it but I managed to hoist my way onto it again.   
      “Your Commander is absolutely insane!” He yelled back. “You might want to stay down here, Erwin’s bringing all the Titans with him!” Wait, what? I looked behind me, trying to spot Erwin. He was nowhere to be seen. Where had he-   
      “GET AWAY FROM THERE, GUYS!” Hannes bellowed at the kids. “I can’t believe this… What is he trying to do!? Erwin!? HE BROUGHT ALL THE TITANS HERE!” Dozens of Titans came sprinting over the hills, all being led by brave men and women on horseback. Erwin was at their front.   
      “Hey, you guys! Jump down quick!” Hannes shouted again. Everyone dispersed, landing on their horses and then the Titans hit.   
      “EVERYONE SCATTER!” Erwin ordered. “INCREASE THE DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE TITANS!” Reiner was almost swamped in Titans but he continued trying to barrel through them. Eventually, he was surrounded. Because his hands were covering up Bertholdt and Eren, he couldn’t fight them off. Alarmingly, I felt pity for them.   
      “EVERYONE! ATTACK!” Erwin was out of his damn mind but I was going to obey his every order until I died. “THE FATE OF ALL HUMANITY WILL BE DECIDED IN THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW! IF WE LOSE EREN THEN HUMANITY WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE A FUTURE LIVING ON THIS EARTH! LET US GET EREN BACK THEN FIGHT OUR WAY BACK HOME AGAIN! LET US OFFER OUR HEARTS!”   
      “HYAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” I shrieked as my horse picked up speed. There was battle cry behind me from dozens of people and we galloped onwards united.   
      “FORWARD!” Erwin commanded. A Titan came out of nowhere and its mouth crunched down on his outstretched right arm. No… It pulled him off his horse.   
      “COMMANDER ERWIN!”   
      “FORWARD!” He kept shouting. “EREN IS RIGHT BEFORE US! FORWARD!” I would never be able to forgive myself if I left him. So I didn’t. I turned around and flew in, cutting the nape out of the bastard. Erwin fell to the ground, his arm falling a few feet away next to him.   
      “Rhia, no, return to-”   
      “Get on my fucking horse right now.” I growled, lifting him as best as I could and pushing him onto my horse. He was weak and I bandaged him as best as I could.   
      “Take me to Eren.” He demanded, his voice wheezy but I dared not argue. The horse accelerated and we came up beside Reiner’s legs.   
      “Erwin, are you sure you can-” He was already up and away. I can’t believe I managed to roll my eyes, given the scenario, but I did. I couldn’t see what was going on but as I pulled up in front, I saw Erwin cut the straps that holding Eren to Bertholdt’s back. He fell and Mikasa caught him. Erwin drifted down and landed on a spare horse, Armin following and we started to leave as quickly as we could.   
      “EVERYONE RETREAT!” Only Keith Shadis could rival Erwin’s volume, I think. We were going to get away… _We’re going to make it!_ A huge crash made me think otherwise. A Titan went soaring overhead and landed ahead of me. I just barely managed to avoid it when another one landed near me. Reiner was throwing Titans at us to prevent our escape. Mikasa and Eren went down and then I went down, my vision blackening and everything went quiet.

I felt hands on my body, dragging me across ground but I couldn’t find the strength to fight them. They were probably one of the Scout’s or something anyway.   
      “BANDITS!” I heard dimly but I couldn’t bring myself to care all that much. My eyes blinked away the darkness just enough to realise what was going on. Bandits were capturing me. I struggled to drag myself away, my hand landing on a rock. I turned and tried to lob it at the bandit but my vision was still blurred and doubled. It went sailing over his shoulder instead. Another hand grabbed mine, my hand slipping out of the glove and I tried to crawl back to it. I was kicked in the head. As my vision died once again, all I saw was my remaining glove laying on the ground far away from me and getting further away every second.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: The next chapter is going to be short, I should think, and it'll be in third person, just as warning. It may contain triggers but I've not written it yet so I can't say for sure. I also want to take the opportunity here to say that once this fiction catches up with the manga (I've been using http://www.mangawindow.com/manga/attack-on-titan/v12/c50/all as my reference for the writing), I'll only be updating monthly since that's when each chapter comes out. Situations may change within the manga but I'll do my best to keep on top of it. If a chapter ends on a cliffhanger and I don't know where I want the OC to be, I may leave it for another month and update something else since I'm going to be writing little accompanying chapters to all of this, mostly crack!fics, I guess. Ones that won't emotionally break you, I mean. So please, be patient with me when my updating slows down because I'm trying to get other stuff done, kay? Thanks for reading the note and the fic!


	6. Nowhere To Be Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reactions of Rhia's friends when they discover her death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said in the previous note, this is in third person and it's very short. The next chapter, as a warning, will contain graphic torture and definitely mentions of rape. You've been warned.

      “Where is she!?” Mikasa shouted, searching frantically while sitting on Eren’s horse behind him.   
      “Where’s who!?” Eren called back, his voice barely heard over the Titans attacking Reiner and Bertholdt.   
      “Rhia! I can’t see her anywhere!” Eren looked around.   
      “She’s probably up ahead!”   
      “Armin!” Mikasa ignored Eren. “Have you seen Rhia!?”   
      “Last time I saw her she was knocked off her horse from a Titan that Reiner threw!” He informed her. Mikasa’s breath caught.   
      “Eren, we have to go back to where she fell!”   
      “WHAT!?”   
      “NOW!” Eren gritted his teeth but turned the horse around, searching for Rhia’s horse and a clue as to where she was. They could only get so much done in the time they had to find her. Finally, they located her horse. It had probably been killed by the force of the Titan knocking it over but it was covered in stab wounds as well. _Bandits_ , Mikasa growled. Her pack had been looted and there was no sign of Rhia anywhere.   
      “Where is she!?” Eren shouted with frustration and then his eye caught something. It was brown and small and there was some blood beside it. Hurriedly, he dismounted and snatched the brown thing up before getting back on his horse and riding to catch up with the others.   
      “What is it?” Mikasa asked in his ear. Eren took it out and examined it, his heart missing one, two, three beats.   
      “It’s her glove…” He replied, handing the glove to his friend. Mikasa didn’t respond and didn’t speak for the rest of the journey.

      It didn’t feel like they were safe when they got home. They could still feel the breath of the Titans on their neck and the loss of Reiner, Bertholdt, Ymir and Rhia was hanging over the 104th Squad heavily. They filed through the door of HQ, unsure of how Levi and Hanji would react when they told them the news of the success of the mission but the deaths as well. Everyone who had had to stay behind was in the cafeteria, having returned to HQ when told that the breach was non-existent and were not needed. As the soldiers entered the cafeteria, Levi noted that a surprising amount of them all came back. All of the 104th Squad, excluding the newly discovered Titan shifters, had made it back alive. This was a rarity. Despite already knowing that it was a success, Levi wouldn’t have been able to guess from the gloomy expressions of the rookies.   
      “HEY!” Hanji shouted, waving her arm. “ROOKIES! OVER HERE!” She was grinning but she rubbed her shoulder afterwards, still not completely healed from her run-in with the Colossal Titan the day before. The kids approached the table, some of them choosing to sit down and rest after the long ride here.   
      “So, I heard it all went well! Eren, I’ve heard some big rumours about you!” Hanji said enthusiastically.   
      “Really?” Eren sighed.   
      “Yeah, I heard that you manipulated a whole bunch of Titans! Is this true!?” Reluctantly, he nodded. “That’s AMAZING!”   
      “No-one died then.” Levi interrupted, trying not to expose his concern for Rhia’s absence. He had noticed, almost immediately, that she wasn’t accompanying them when they had walked in. _She may have gone straight to bed or, more likely, headed up to my office_ , Levi thought. The rookies didn’t speak. They instead looked worse. Sasha was on the point of crying.   
      “What’s happened?” Hanji asked, almost afraid of the answer. “Wait, where’s… Where’s Rhia?” Hanji had never really cried before and she didn’t want to start now, but her eyes were wet and her hands were shaking a little. Levi noticed but didn’t say anything. Mikasa looked at Levi, observing the fact that he wore one glove on his left hand. _Rhia must have given it to him before she left_ , she noted. Almost reluctantly, she pulled the glove out of her cloak pocket and placed it on the table in front of Levi. He stared down at it.   
      “We couldn’t find a body.” She mumbled. “Her horse had been looted and this was all we could find.” Levi didn’t respond and Hanji swallowed audibly.   
      “We’ve lost Mike, Nanaba and Rhia…” She whispered. “I wasn’t… I wasn’t expecting to lose so many-” Levi stood abruptly and walked out, taking the glove with him. No-one followed him. He went to his chamber and silently got ready for bed, making sure not to rush himself. After folding his clothes neatly, he climbed into bed and simply held the glove. When he awoke the next morning, he thought he had dreamed it all. He turned to look at his bedside table and saw the glove she had given him and the glove she had left behind. He held his head and howled.

 

 


	7. Did You Sleep Well?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhia awakens and she doesn't like where she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the slow update! I wrote this and I wasn't happy with how it turned out at all so I wanted to change it but I never got round to it. I was also tempted to take the romance between Levi and Rhia to the next level but I decided against it. I've re-read the manga so I know what I want to do with the OC. I hope that this sates your need (if any) for a new chapter! 
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains graphic violence, torture and mentions (and clear intentions) of rape.

      When I came to, I was in a castle’s dungeon and my body ached all over. My limbs were bruised and my ribs felt like they were on fire. My hands were chained to a link in the floor but I could move them more or less and my 3DMG had been taken. Clumsily, I touched my nose, yelping in pain and withdrawing. It was broken. Whoever had kicked me in the head earlier had really done a number on it. The blood had already dried to my face so I must have been there for at least an hour. The ground was cold and it was wet in some places. A few feet away, there were bars, similar to the cells in the dungeons in Wall Sina. As my eyes focused, I realised there was a man standing there watching me. And his face was not a welcomed sight.   
      “Rhia. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” He said with a toothy grin. He disgusted me.   
      “Fuck you.” I spat. He sighed and shook his head, pacing a little in front of the bars.   
      “That’s a little rude since you’re in my custody, aren’t you?”   
      “Custody? You’ve chained me up like a fucking animal.” _Like Eren had been detained_. His smile widened, revealing more twisted and gnarly brown teeth.   
      “You always acted like an animal.” He chortled. “Especially when I had you beneath me. You wouldn’t stop moving for some reason.”   
      “You fucker… I swear to god, I’m going to kill you in such horrible ways that they’d make you puke just _listening_ to them-” He wasn’t listening and he beckoned other men in. “I’ll rip you apart and I’ll cut every single nerve in your body and shove your fucking knife up your rectum-”   
      “That’s nice, Rhia, but we’re going to start the torture now.” He spoke over me with a nasty grin.   
      “I’ve been tortured before, countless times in fact - it’s not going to be easy to get me to talk or even scream.”   
      “I think you will and you know what I want you to tell me, don’t you?” As the men approached, I scrambled backwards until my back hit the wall. “Don’t struggle, you’ll just make it worse.” The bastard walked over and knelt in front of me. “Now, why-” I kicked him, my boot making a satisfying crunch against his nose. He grunted, clutching his broken nose, and sat back.   
      “Fuck, restrain her!” He growled. My hands were lifted above my head and I was pulled to my feet and shoved into the wall. He stood and started unbuttoning my shirt. He saw my face pale and he laughed.   
      “Oh, precious, not yet. I’ll just take this little souvenir with me.” He yanked Greyjoy’s tooth from my neck and smirked when I roared at him.   
      “YOU BASTARD!” He laughed.   
      “Now, if only you could be this vocal when we interrogate you. You know what I want you to do; take me to Wall Sina.” He walked away, twirling the necklace around in his hand. “A little hint as well: the quicker you agree, the more teeth you’ll have by the end of this.” I didn’t exactly have an award-winning smile but I was fond of my teeth.   
      “You fucker… Come back here! BRING THAT BACK!” He left the cell and started whistling as he left. “DEXTER!” But he’d already left. The man who had raped me twice had captured me and was going to torture me.   
      “Our orders are to hurt you.” One of the three men who were restraining me said. “We can’t _touch_ you, unfortunately, but we’ll make do with beating the shit out of you.” And thus the violence began. I didn’t make a sound once but I bled a lot. No broken bones though. I was grateful for that; I’d need my body as functional as possible to escape. Eventually, I blacked out. 

      When I woke up for the second time, I was naked. I shrank in on myself, curling into a ball. My body was bleeding heavily and blood was running down my temple. I held the tears in and stared at the chains on my wrists. How long would it take for me to get out of these? There was no way that I could unlock them. My wrists were bruised and bleeding, the manacles only making it worse. _You could slip your hands out eventually. Coat the metal in your blood and slowly ease your hands out_. It would take a while to do that. A few days, a week, perhaps. They’d be back well before then. My throat was dry and I coughed. I was parched and hungry and I wanted to sleep again. Sleep would have to wait though. Looking around, there was no window for me to crawl through, nor was there a gutter that I could possibly squeeze into. It was three walls and a stretch of bars that I wouldn’t be able to reach with the chains restricting me. I couldn’t see my clothes anywhere so if I were to escape, I’d be doing it _au naturel_. I like to think that I’d look badass if I had to do that. _That’d be something to brag about. I’ve fought off numerous bandits and I had to do it naked_. What a story. I set to work on greasing up the cuffs but barely five minutes passed when more men came in. They were different and they were bigger. I hid myself as best as I can within my body but it didn’t stop them. Their punches hurt and their kicks hurt more. Vaguely, I was surprised at the absence of a blade. Once again, they didn’t dare touch me sexually, but they did a bloody good job in pummelling me.   
      I was getting used to waking up in a pool of my blood now. I groaned and sat up, still naked and still in agony. It felt so cold in here… _How long have I been in here?_ I had no idea. I couldn’t tell if it was day or night, never mind how much time had passed. I may have been out for hours or only minutes. I didn’t get much time to consider; Dexter came in alone. He barely acknowledged me as he yanked the chain. I was tugged over and I scraped my side, which I barely noticed in comparison to the torture I’d undergone at least twice now. I crawled over to the link but sat as far away from Dexter as I could.   
      “Alright. I’ve given you two days to consider. What’s your answer?”   
      “Fuck you.” I snapped, spitting in his face. He sighed and wiped his face before backhanding me. I went sprawling and he stood up.   
      “You never really became civilised when you went inside the walls, did you? When you left for the so-called sanctuary of the inside? You’re still an outsider, just like us. If the scars on your back are anything to go by, your new friends in the cushy interior didn’t like you very much at all, did they?”   
      “Shut your fucking mouth or I’ll shut it for you.”   
      “You’re not in a position to make threats, Outsider.” My jaw clenched. “I suppose I’ll give you another few days to decide. I’m being nice, Rhia, the least you can do is return the sentiment.”  
      “If you come near me, I will pull your rectum out of your ass.”   
      “Such a dirty mouth. Alright, fine. I’ll see you in a week.” A week!? He left with a cheery wave and I had to bite my tongue from screaming after him. As he left, two men and a woman came in and it all started again. My back teeth were removed and the woman bit some of my ear off. They kicked me even after I was unconscious.   
      Again and again, I woke up covered in the remnants of another torture session and again and again, I worked on getting the cuffs off. Dexter made good on his promise to come back a week later (though I could only guess that a week had passed) and once again, I refused him.   
      “If you refuse me one more time, I’m going to fuck you so hard into that wall that you’ll be little more than blood and a mound of flesh.” He hissed and departed again. _Escape before that happens_. Well, duh. Another day or so passed, or I speculated that it had, and my hands could finally slip through the cuffs. I realised that I could free myself when I was being beaten to a bloody pulp for the fourteenth time but I went under before I could actually do it. I’d have to wait for the next people to come in. As I waited patiently for them, I reflected on pretty much everything. They must think that I was dead, right? The Scouts and the 104th Squad and Hanji and Levi and Erwin? My hands felt odd without the softness of the leather gloves and my neck felt bare without the cord around it. Perhaps someone had found the glove I left behind? If they saw that, they’d probably assume that I was dead. It had been a week and a half, probably, so they must have figured now that I was dead. To be honest, I probably wasn’t far off it. _I wonder if they’re in mourning_. Given my closeness to Levi, I didn’t even doubt that he would mourn me, but I predicted his grief would only last for a few days, a week maximum. Hanji would keep to herself as she always did when one of her friends died but she’d be back to her perky self in no time. Erwin? I had no idea. I didn’t know Erwin half as well as I wish I did and, if I made it out alive, I’d make sure to speak to him more. As for the 104th Squad… I really didn’t know. I didn’t even know if the mission was a success or not… The last thing I remember of Eren is watching him and Mikasa getting thrown from their horse. I didn’t know how Sasha and Armin and Connie and anyone else were doing. Were they even still alive? If they were, they had incredible luck and unbelievable skill. If they had survived, did they know I was missing? Had they even noticed? Were they mourning me? Did they… care? I blinked hard to stop my eyes from brimming over with tears. I wasn’t going to cry. I was not going to… _Fuck_. I wiped my cheeks quickly, sniffling and I tipped my head back to lean against the wall. A door swung open and this time, only two men entered.   
      “Guess who gets to fuck?” One of them laughed with a voice like gravel.   
      “With a face like yours, I’d assume it’s not you.”   
      “Fuck you!” He growled, cricking his knuckles whilst his friend sniggered. “You won’t be saying that when I’m fucking you!”   
      “I certainly won’t be looking at your ugly mug.”   
      “That’s it, fuck you, bitch.” He laid his hand on me and I shoved the cuffs off, grabbing his fingers and snapping them all. He roared in pain and I clambered to my feet, a little unsteady but otherwise alright.   
      “Shit…” The other guy muttered. “What do I-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence because I punched him in the throat _hard_. He went down, clutching his neck and died. _Nice_. The first man charged at me, his arms outstretched to grab me. I gripped one of his arms and used his momentum to flip him over me. He crashed to the ground and I quickly dislocated his arm before getting him into a chokehold and snapping his neck. _There we go, naked bandit killing story is officially true_. I swiped the keys off of his corpse and unlocked the door, hurrying through.   
      I had no clue where I was going and a quick look outside told me that it was nighttime. I was walking through dark stone hallways wearing absolutely nothing and I’d just killed two men. I felt alive. Up ahead, I heard voices. _Shit… I’ve got nowhere to hide…_ Looking around frantically, I hopped onto a windowsill and shut the curtains, leaning back against the cool stone and calming my heart. The people walked past without even commenting on the oddness of a random pair of curtains being closed whilst the others were open. When I was sure that they were gone, I leaped out of my hiding place and started running instead of walking briskly. My feet made soft noises as I ran and I reached a corner. I peered around it and saw two men guarding a door. _That’ll be Dexter’s room. That’s where he’ll be keeping your clothes and weapons_. I had no clue how I’d get in there though. Their voices would alert Dexter if I ran in. I peered around behind me. There was no-one coming and there was a window directly beside me. I whistled softly and crawled onto the sill, waiting patiently.   
      “Did you hear that?” One of them asked.   
      “Hear what?”   
      “It sounded like… I dunno. A whistle or something.”   
      “You’re hearing things, man.”   
      “Whatever, I’m gonna check just in case it’s another damn prank.” Footsteps were approaching and I readied myself. He walked right in front of me and my arms shot out, pulling the man into a silent chokehold. I choked the life out of him and whistled again.   
      “For fuck’s sake, now I’m hearing it…” I heard. “Dude, if this another shitty prank I’m gonna be pissed.” I whistled. “Oh, for Sina’s sake…” The man was approaching and I incapacitated him in the same way. I slid out from the sill and cautiously walked towards Dexter’s door. I could hear moans from inside. I decided that I’d go for sneaky so I silently opened the door carefully. When there wasn’t a shout of anger, I crept in and looked around. The four-poster bed had the curtains drawn around it and I shut the door quietly. Now that I was in there, I could hear that there were, in fact, three people enjoying themselves behind the curtains. _Who the fuck would want to fuck that fucker?_ I glimpsed my pack on his desk but where were my clothes? As I walked further into the room, I found them. They were ripped to pieces and strewn across the room. The clothes were in tatters, the buckles were broken and the 3DMG was damaged beyond repair. I opened my pack to find my clothes from the outside in there. My knife and my spear lay next to it, Greyjoy’s tooth lying on the side. That was the first thing I put on. My boots hadn’t been destroyed, mostly because good quality shoes were hard to come by, so I pulled my clothes on and my boots. I strapped my knife to my leg and wielded my spear. For good measure, I pulled my mask and scarf on and pulled my hood up. _The last thing they’ll see is the Outsider, not the Soldier. They’ll see the Survivor, not the Scout_. I smirked and yanked the curtains back. Two men, one of them Dexter, and a woman stared back at me.   
      “I hope I’m not interrupting.” I growled and drove the spear into the man’s chest. He died almost instantly and the woman attempted to disarm me. I kicked her knee in and slit her throat with the knife before rounding on Dexter.   
      “Did you really think that you could capture me and _keep_ me?” I mocked, twirling the spear between my fingers. “The answer, Dexter, is no. I won’t be taking you to Wall Sina. Try and fuck me now.” He roared and charged, his teeny little penis swinging between his legs. I chopped it off with my knife and stabbed him in the back with the blade.   
      “End of the line, fucker.” I hissed into his ear and wrenched the knife out of his neck. He landed on the ground, dying and choking on blood.   
      “Y-you…”   
      “I’m a little pressed for time so I can’t stay to make you suffer more.” I strode over to his gaslamp and smashed it against the drapes on his bed. It burst into flames and I headed for the door, swiping the key off the desk as I went.   
      “W-wait…”   
      “If I were you, I’d take a deep breath, Dexter. And hold it.” I slammed the door shut and locked it, throwing the key out of the nearest window. The fire would spread, decimating the fuckers and I could make a clean escape back to Wall Rose. I sprinted down the stairs to the lobby, pushing and shoving past anyone who tried to stop me. When I burst out of the castle, the majority of it was burning. Without my 3DMG, I’d be at a disadvantage to Titans if they appeared. I hadn’t killed a Titan without the aid of the maneuver gear for a long time so I couldn’t be sure that I would even survive if I was chased. I’d have to take the chance though. I mounted the horse that looked like it’d be the fastest and got the hell outta there, leaving the burning castle behind me.

      It was almost dawn when I reached the Wall and I realised that I wouldn’t be able to get through. Because there was no breach, there was no way I could climb it without 3DMG or an elevator. When we arrived at the base of the wall, I tested my spear against the stone. It was climbable but this was _fifty metres tall_. I had never climbed something as big as that. Sure, the Giant Trees were about eighty metres tall but I’d never climbed to the top of them ever. This was going to hurt. Once I was over, I’d have to go on foot and find the nearest military division, probably the Garrison. I dismounted the horse and slapped its flank, sending it galloping off. I breathed deeply before running up the wall, sinking the spear into the stone. The blade didn’t break, thank god, and I continued my way up, using the knife occasionally. The exhaustion of the past week and a half or so was taking its toll and my shoulders were shaking to the point that I almost couldn’t climb at all. After what felt like hours, I made it to the top. I breathed heavily and collapsed on my back, getting my breath back and having an hour’s nap. When I woke up, the sun had risen and I took a moment to admire the view. It really was something. I had watched the sun set many times but I hadn’t watched it rise all that often. I felt reassurance and courage seep into my muscles and I crossed to the other side of the wall with renewed vigour. Getting down was easier as I used my cloak as a parachute. Landing was going to hurt though. I steered myself towards a tree as best as I could so I could catch a branch or something. I barely managed to snatch my arm out to a branch in time before dropping to the ground. I rolled to my feet and groaned. My body hurt a lot. In the distance, I could see a district. Judging by the sun’s angle, it was Klorva, the Western district of Wall Rose. I made my way there as quickly as I could, hoping to all gods that there would be some sort of news about what happened all that time ago. When I got there, I was starving and so thirsty that I drank from the river. I saw two Garrison guards standing watch. I hurried up to them.   
      “Are you guys drunk?” I demanded as soon as I reached them.   
      “W-what? No?” One said.   
      “Good because I need reliable answers-”   
      “What the heck are you wearing?”   
      “Clothes, duh. Anyway, listen, I need to-”   
      “Hey, you look familiar, where’ve I seen you before?”   
      “I’m a Scout, okay? Now listen to me-”   
      “A Scout? You don’t look like one…”   
      “FOR FUCK’S SAKE, LISTEN TO ME!” I roared. “I’VE JUST BEEN THROUGH HELL TO GET HERE SO THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS ANSWER MY GODDAMN QUESTIONS!” They didn’t speak. “Thank you. Now, I’m Lieutenant Rhia from the Survey Corps and I was separated from the legion during their last minute expedition outside Wall Rose. I need to know when the expedition was and where I can hitch a ride up to Wall Sina.” They blinked.   
      “U-uh, the expedition was little under two weeks ago,” _shit_ , “And there should be a cart heading up there with provisions in a few minutes? It’s driven by some old guy, he’ll let you on if you tell him who you are.” I nodded.   
      “Thank you, you’ve been a good help.” I turned and left, waiting by the side of the road for it. After barely seconds of waiting, he arrived.   
      “Excuse me?” I asked, stepping forwards. He looked down at me from under his hood. He had a grizzly grey beard and a fisherman’s hat on.   
      “Yeah?” He acknowledged gruffly.   
      “Are you heading to Wall Sina?”   
      “Yeah.”   
      “Listen, it’s really important that I get there, I’m a Scout from the regiment and I really need to get there. Could you take me?” He observed me for a moment.   
      “Yeah.” He was a man of little words, it seemed.   
      “Thank you so much.”   
      “Climb into the back. Eat what you need but don’t pig out.” He must have noticed my fragility, I guess. I didn’t know how I looked but I was probably gaunt and pale with blood still dried onto my face.   
      “Thank you, sir.” He wasn’t very talkative and I ate my fill before falling asleep. When we reached Wall Sina, it was darkening again. Two garrison members met us and one of them was familiar in an odd way. I had seen her around with Pixis occasionally and the coward Kitts Woerman. She, apparently, recognised me as well.   
      “I’ve seen you before.” She announced as the cart was checked over.   
      “I’ve seen you as well with Pixis and Woerman.” I replied.   
      “I’m Rico Brzenska.”   
      “Rhia.”   
      “I’ve heard a lot about you.” I smiled weakly.   
      “And I’ve not heard enough about you. I can’t stick around though, Rico, I need to know what’s happened since the expedition.” She nodded and explained everything quickly. I was at a loss for words. _It succeeded. Eren was recovered_.   
      “Where are they now?” I asked excitedly.   
      “Northeast of here far from any villages. If you go that way,” She pointed in a direction, “And if you don’t deviate from where I’m pointing, you’ll get there eventually. That’s all I know. I’m sorry.” I grabbed her hand with an elated smile.   
      “You’ve done more than enough, Rico, thank you!” I grinned and leaped off the cart. “Thank you, sir! I’ll try to repay the kindness some day!”   
      “Yeah.” He muttered, and made what sounded like a chuckling sound. I smiled at them both one last time before hurrying off in the direction that Rico had pointed. It felt like I was running forever and it was practically pitch black. If it weren’t for the clear sky, I wouldn’t have the moonlight to guide me and I’d probably end up lost. I was so used to being inside the walls that I’d practically lost most of my instinct for the outside. It saddened me. _At last_. A cabin came into view. The moon shone on it as though it were my salvation, which it probably was really. Behind it, there were mountains in the distance and trees surrounding the back of it. There was a stable to the right of it and a wagon pulled in there. Before I went in and announced my return, I peered into the stables, just in case someone was in there. There was no-one, so I-   
      “Put your weapons on the ground and turn around.” That sweet little voice. I put my left hand up and carefully put my spear on the ground, unsheathing my dagger and placing it next to it. I then kicked them behind me over to Historia. I heard her scrabble for them and I wondered if she was actually holding a gun to my head or not. I didn’t know.   
      “Good. Now, turn… Where did you get these!?” She demanded. “Who gave you these weapons!?” Oh, she must have recognised them then. I turned slowly and she peered at me.   
      “You’re wearing a mask? Take it off and show me your face _now_!” Aww, my little Historia, all grown up. Though she was clearly frightened, she was indeed holding a musket up and was aiming it right at my head.   
      “You’ve changed.” I smiled beneath the mask and scarf and it broadened when she frowned. “You’ve grown wiser in the space of two weeks.” I tugged my hood and scarf down and pulled the mask off. “I’m proud of you, Historia.” She almost dropped the gun in shock, bless her.   
      “Rhia…? I… I thought you were…”   
      “Captured by bandits, it’s okay.” She could scarcely breathe.   
      “W-what are you wearing?”   
      “These are the clothes that I wore on the outside, I think I told you about them during our training, I can’t remember really. I look good, no?” Historia didn’t even crack a smile at my joke. She dropped the musket and ran over, almost knocking me over with a fierce hug.   
      “Ohh, Historia, careful! I’m a bit sore still!” She pulled back quickly.   
      “I’m so sorry!” Tears were freely falling from her eyes. “My god, we all thought you were dead! Everyone was so… Oh, wait until Levi finds out, he-”   
      “Wait, what? What about Levi?” She looked up at me with wide eyes.   
      “He’s been inconsolable. He only sees us when we have a meeting. During meals he goes to his room and we barely see him.” Aww, Levi… “Mikasa’s been really quiet since then as well and… We’ve all been quiet really.” She hugged me again, though not as tight. “I’m so glad that you’re here.” Her tears were soaking into my cloak. I gently hugged her back.   
      “Oh, Historia… Come on, let’s go inside. Is everyone up?”   
      “Levi barely left his room today so he won’t be there but everyone else should be. We just had dinner, are you hungry?” I smiled. Man, I’d missed Historia so much.   
      “No, I’m fine, I ate on the way.” She was so happy, I wanted to hug her again. She ran off to the door and burst through. I followed her at a slower pace.   
      “Guys, you’ll never believe what’s happened!” She exclaimed. I picked up the musket, spear and knife and sheathed my weapons as I headed to the door.   
      “Historia, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a-” I entered the building and leaned the weapons against the wall. Everyone’s eyes were fixed on me. I noticed that Levi was absent, just as my pretty blonde friend predicted, but seeing all of them alive and well was enough. I also saw the obvious absence of Bertholdt, Ymir and Reiner but I didn’t comment on it. The group were undoubtedly still recovering from the loss of their comrades.   
      “R-Rhia…?” Eren spluttered.   
      “Hey, guys.” I said as strongly as I could. Seeing them all in front of me, alive and well, filled me with such relief that I almost sank to my knees. After doubting their fates for so long, it was pure bliss to know that they were okay.   
      “God, I’ve missed you all…” I whispered. Sasha literally clambered over the table and almost knocked me over with the force of her embrace. The hug felt odd (I don’t usually participate in those) but it was more than welcomed. It actually felt nice.   
      “We thought you’d died!” She sobbed into my cloak.   
      “Ssh, I’m okay, see? A little worse for wear, but I’m alright.” I stroked her hair fondly. She let go and Connie replaced her, hugging me even tighter.   
      “DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!” He shrieked into my shoulder, tears on his cheeks as well.   
      “Ouch, please, a little gentler, Connie.” I groaned.   
      “Yikes, sorry!” He apologised. Jean came walking over, his mouth agape.   
      “We thought the bandits had murdered you and taken your body away… Or some Titan had…” He could barely finish his sentence.   
      “I’m an outsider, remember? It’s gonna take more than bandits and Titans to take me down, right?” His head hung low. “What is it?”   
      “The last thing you said to me was that you were going to shove your blades up my ass.” I blinked.   
      “I did?”   
      “Yeah.” I tugged him down for a hug.   
      “Jean, I’m so sorry.” I whispered.   
      “H-hey, it’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it.” He muttered with embarrassment. A finger tapped my shoulder and I turned, releasing Jean. Armin stood there, looking shy but extremely happy.   
      “Don’t scare us like that again, Rhia.” He murmured timidly.   
      “Oh, Armin…” I said affectionately, pulling him in and stroking his hair. “I’m sorry that I worried you all.”   
      “Just don’t do it again.” Eren muttered a little moodily, walking over as well. He joined the hug and I squeezed the Shiganshina boys, happy that I’d found my own little family. When they pulled away, only Mikasa remained. Her face revealed nothing as she walked over slowly.   
      “You’ve been taking care of these lot, right?” I looked at her.   
      “I always do.” She mumbled. “We looked for you and found your glove but that was all we could find.”   
      “It slipped off in the struggle with the bandits.” We stood there for a moment, earning awkward glances from everyone else.   
      “Uh…” Jean said. We collided with each other and I held her tightly. I could smell her scarf and it smelled of blood, sweat and a mixture of Mikasa and Eren. We both winced after a few moments.   
      “Ouch…” I grunted.   
      “My ribs are still bruised, I guess.” Mikasa admitted.   
      “What the hell’s going on here?” Oh, I’d missed that snarky voice. We turned to the hallway. I was obscured by Jean, Eren and Sasha so I couldn’t see Levi and he couldn’t see me either.   
      “Connie, why the hell did you start yelling? Did you burst a damn lung or something?”   
      “I-I just…”   
      “You’re never gonna believe what’s happened, sir!” Historia cheered. I was relatively sure that Levi’s eyebrow would have raised at her.   
      “I’m sure I won’t. Just go the fuck to bed.”   
      “But it’s a miracle!”   
      “It’ll be a miracle if I get any damn sleep around here.” I heard him sigh and, probably, roll his eyes. “Fine. What is it?” It felt like the Squad had planned it and given it thought for dramatic effect, but they all stepped aside at the same time, parting down the middle to reveal me in my aching glory. I wasn’t expecting a physical reaction from Levi and I wasn’t expecting him to be wearing the gloves either. I could hear his sharp intake of breath from where I was and his eyes widened visibly. I managed a smile. Somehow, seeing Levi again made me want to break down and cry. _You really are home now._  
      “Hey.” I whispered. He didn’t speak and I disentangled myself from the Squad and walked over. We stood in front of each other for a few moments.   
      “You’ve never actually seen these clothes, have you? These are the clothes I wore when I was outside the walls six years ago. It’s weird that you’ve never seen them, I guess.” I was rambling with nervousness now. “You know, being trapped in a dungeon and being tortured really puts things into perspective and I’ve decided I’m more or less done with people now. I’m only gonna stick around with you guys because there’s too large a minority to make humanity a shitty thing so I’m-oh.” Levi’s gloved hands had raised to my cheeks and he was simply staring at me. “O-oh, okay…” I was blushing to my very foundations. His gloved hands on my skin reminded me of when I had showed him, Farlan and Isabel the scars on my back.   
      “Who did this?” He said in hushed tones.   
      “Dexter. I definitely told you about him.” I had actually forgotten that the kids were still present until they all filed past us silently, making sure not to make eye contact with us. I guessed they were off to bed.   
      “The fucker…” He growled, actually _stroking_ my cheeks with his thumbs. I couldn’t go anymore pink. He withdrew for a moment, but only to remove the gloves. He slipped them onto my hands and then they returned to my face once again.   
      “Did you kill him?” I managed a smirk.   
      “Stabbed him a few times. Then I burned the whole place down.”   
      “How did you get back?” I chuckled mirthlessly.   
      “I took one of the horses and rode for Wall Rose. I had to climb it with my spear and knife because they’d torn my clothes up and broken my gear, though that probably broke from being tossed from my horse. Then a nice old guy gave me a lift on his cart to Wall Sina and Rico from the Garrison filled me in and directed me here.”   
      “You’ve had quite the adventure.” My laugh broke midway this time.   
      “Yeah…” His hands were tender as he caressed my cheeks.   
      “You said they tore your clothes up…” He murmured, surprisingly gentle though I could feel the venom in his eyes.   
      “When I woke up for the second time, I’d been stripped. It was fucking cold in that dungeon. When I finally escaped, my clothes were in tatters in Dexter’s room and my pack was on his desk. These were inside, thank god, and… yeah.”   
      “He suffered until his last breath, right?” Levi growled.   
      “Until his last haggard breath.” I assured him, my voice breaking and a lump forming in my throat. He placed his forehead on mine and that seemed to open the dam. I burst into tears and he shushed me, stroking my hair and my back. He tugged me to him and I buried my face in his shoulder as I whimpered and cried and sobbed and whined until I was completely dry. All the while, Levi muttered comforts to me and didn’t complain that I was crying all over him.   
      “S-sorry…” I sniffed. “I haven’t really had the time to adjust since I was captured.”   
      “Shut up and stop apologising.” He paused, leaning back to look at me. “Are you okay now?”   
      “Yeah… I think so.”   
      “Good. Because my shoulder is fucking soaking.” In spite of myself, I laughed.   
      “Yeah… Thanks for being my literal shoulder to cry on.”   
      “Tch, no problem.” He pulled me close and hugged me again. I was too exhausted to realise what was really going on (and that my normal response would be to go very red and almost be too shocked to return the embrace) so I just hugged back. We stood there for a while until Levi took my hand and led me through the hallway to his room. We entered and he handed me one of his shirts and some thick pyjama bottoms. It was incredibly warm so I left the bottoms but I used the shirt. It smelled of him. Returning from the bathroom from changing, I was definitely surprised to see Levi was wearing nought but the white trousers in the compulsory military uniform. _I can see why… They are very comfortable… And his ass looks spectacular in them… Not to mention that body..._ Careful there. When I walked in, his eyes trailed over my bare legs that were bruised and cut but slowly healing. He gestured for me to get into bed and I did, too tired to really speak. I crawled into the left side and practically collapsed on the soft mattress. He tugged the blanket over us and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close. I pulled the hair band out of my hair and set it on the side before nuzzling back into Levi’s body, my head in the crook of his neck. He held me tightly and rubbed soothing circles on my back.   
      “I’ve never seen you with your hair down.” He ran his fingers through my hair and I hummed in appreciation.   
      “I always sleep with it down.”   
      “... Keep it down more often.”   
      “Yes, dear.” I smiled.   
      “You had me thinking you were just late back for a few days.” Levi murmured after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “I half expected you to walk through the door and act like nothing had happened. Like I hadn’t been mourning you. When a week passed, I realised that you weren’t coming back.” I squeezed him comfortingly. “I haven’t slept properly since you left for Wall Rose.”   
      “Sorry.” I whispered, not even sure myself why I was apologising.   
      “Don’t be. You’re alive and you’re back with me. Where you belong.” I choked out a laugh and sighed with a small smile. He was right; I was where I belonged. Levi held me closer by just a fraction. “Try and get some sleep. We’re gonna have a lie-in tomorrow.” I smiled at the thought of that.   
      “Ohhh, yes please.”   
      “Go to sleep then.”   
      “Yes, dear.” I was so tired I was practically drunk. “Where’s Hanji and Erwin?”   
      “Hanji is sleeping in the closest inn since we don’t have all that much space.” He informed me, not as tired as I was, it seemed. “Erwin is in Sina.” I yawned.   
      “Great. When are we next seeing them?”   
      “Shitty Glasses is heading down again in a day or two. I don’t know when we’ll next see Erwin.” I nodded glumly.   
      “I missed them though…” I whined. Levi’s head turned to me and I could just about make out his expression in the darkness - confusion and amusement. “What?”   
      “You. You’re acting strange. Stranger than usual, I mean.”   
      “Levi, I’m so tired that I’m probably going to pass out in the next minute, cut me some fucking slack. This what I’m like when I’m exhausted.” I rambled. “You have to accept that this is who I am, okay? This is me.” _You sound like you’re pissed out of your head_. Levi watched me incredulously before huffing a chuckle.   
      “You’re cute when you’re tired then.” I rubbed my cheek against his chest with a little smile. _You’re so far gone you barely realise what you’re doing, moron._    
      “You need to stop being so fucking perfect, Levi, it’s fucking distracting. G’night, now.” I heard him huff a chuckle as I drifted off.   
      “I will if you will.” He mumbled, turning towards me even more and just generally being an adorable dork and _cuddling_ me. I smiled and for the first time in two weeks, I willingly let the blackness take me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'm not overly happy with this chapter so I may end up going back over it and editing little bits. If I do, I'll let you know about it in a note in a later chapter, 'kay? Just a little addition: If you guys could give me your opinion on the OC, that'd be great? Just leave it in the comments or message me or something? I tried really hard in trying to make her flawed and not a Mary-Sue and I tried to make her as human and genuine as possible, but I want to know if I was successful in that. Personally, I'm fond of the OC, but I really want to know your opinions! Also, please please please let me know if anyone is OOC! I try super hard to keep them in character but sometimes I'm unsure! So, if I slip up and I don't mention it in a note like so, let me know! Thank you all so much for your patience and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! The next one is nice and lax.


	8. Domesticity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhia settles back into her life with her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry that this was a little slow to be updated, it took me a while to be happy with this chapter. There are three songs in this chapter but you can quite happily skip over them if you don't like that. I've heard theories that the whole SNK!verse is actually a future of our own world so I figured some songs of nowadays may have been preserved. The songs aren't important whatsoever (though I'd like it if you looked at the lullaby part) but if you're interested, the songs are:  
> Better Together - Jack Johnson  
> One - Ed Sheeran  
> Stay Awake - Julie Andrews from Mary Poppins (ehehe)  
> I hope this chapter isn't disappointing and the fact that the OC can play and sing a little may be a little Mary-Sue but it's unlikely to ever come up again, I just wanted to add something in to make the whole group of them to seem a little more united. Levi is probably OOC and I apologise! This chapter is SO FLUFFY. SO MUCH FLUFF. ENJOY PLEASE.

      When I woke up, I was tired and things were blurry around me. It was very early in the morning (the sun hadn’t even risen yet) and for a minute or so, I panicked. _Where am I?_ I was laying on a bed and it was very soft. Had I been taken to another room in that castle? Had Dexter decided to play some sort of cruel trick on me? I registered an arm hanging loosely over my waist and curling up to my neck. I paled and slowly turned my head. _Don’t let it be Dexter, please, don’t let it be…_ It was Levi and he was still fast asleep. It took me a few seconds to realise what had happened. _You escaped from Dexter. You killed him and scaled Wall Rose and then made your way here when you found out what happened. Everyone hugged you and you slept in Levi’s room. Remember now?_ I almost laughed with relief, clasping my hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t make a sound. Nevertheless, I beamed beneath it and stared at the man laying next to me with grateful tears in my eyes. _You’re safe and you’re home. He said it himself._ He did, didn’t he?   
      He really did look peaceful when he slept. There was no frown upon his face when Levi was asleep. He had no expression whatsoever, save for the occasional tilt of his eyebrows and his mouth pursing a little. As I watched him, his mouth was slightly open, his breaths coming out slow and controlled. _Do you think he would wake up if you kissed him?_ I wouldn’t dare. Even if his lips looked _particularly_ kissable (which they did), I wouldn’t do that. It’d be intrusive and wrong and tempting and certainly enjoyable-no. Can’t do it, nope. I sighed and continued to look, content enough with just that. After another few minutes, my eyes were threatening to close again. I really was exhausted. I scooched over to Levi’s still sleeping figure and his arm tightened around me, never waking once. I fell asleep with a smile on my face. 

      When I awoke for the second time, I was certain that I was in a dream. Even looking down at Levi’s body did nothing to quell my fear that I was still in the dungeon and this was one of the many dreams that I’d had inside that cell. I’d often dreamed of security, of seeing Levi again, being with the 104th Squad once more. This just felt like another one of those dreams. Though this was an odd dream of Levi then. Usually, I’d simply be with Levi, talking or something. Even in my dreams, I couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to be in a relationship with him. Other times they were… quite adult. You’ve never known frustration until you’ve had a sex dream of him and then had to spend the entire day with him without letting it on. It’s _torture_. Back to waking up, though, I was in a state of frenzy. It was still dark outside and I rolled off the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping dream-Levi. Whether he was real or fake, he’d be pissed off if I woke him up. He wasn’t a morning person.   
      I fumbled with the door handle, trying to open it as quietly as possible, and padded through the hallway. No-one was awake yet and I moved into what looked like a dining room. There was a long table and some sofas and armchairs to my immediate left as I walked in. Unsure of how to figure out whether I was asleep or not, I pinched myself. It hurt. To double-check, I walked around the table a few times, doing nothing but circling it. I came to the conclusion that I was awake and I was really there, no longer trapped in a cell. I felt a surge of relief rush through me and I returned to Levi’s room. When I closed the door behind me and looked at the bed, Levi was sitting up and watching me. The room was dim but we could still see each other quite clearly.   
      “Rhia?” He sounded unsure.   
      “It’s me.” I whispered back.   
      “I’m not dreaming, am I?” I frowned and shook my head.   
      “No… Why would you be…” Oh. My expression softened.   
      “You’re here for real, then?” It appeared that he was experiencing the same confusion that I had when I awoke.   
      “Yeah, I’m here.” I started towards the bed, crawling up and pulling the covers back over me.   
      “I thought I was dreaming again…”   
      “I know.” We settled back down. “I did too.”   
      “You did?”   
      “I got up and walked around the dining table for a little while. I had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I used to dream about being back here with you guys.” I admitted, staring up at the ceiling.   
      “I’ve dreamed that you’ve been walking through that door to see me.” Levi muttered back. “Every night, I imagined you returned and came through that door to tell me you were alive.” He turned his head to me. “This is the first time I’ve been able to believe it.” I smiled weakly.   
      “I’m back for good. Promise.” He nodded.   
      “Good. C’m’ere.” He was still tired. I mean, I was as well, unbelievably so, but I was trying to control it. _You could have some fun here…_ I chuckled and rolled over to him, my back pressing against his chest. His arms wrapped around me and he held me close, his face buried into the back of my neck.   
      “You’ve got your hair down.” I snorted a laugh.   
      “Yeah, I know, you said that last night.”   
      “I did?”   
      “Yeah. You told me to leave it down more often.” He paused.   
      “Yeah, do that, it’s nice.” My face was pink.   
      “But it gets in the way…”   
      “Too bad, I like it this way.”   
      “Fine, fine, fine.” I could barely stop smiling. “You’re cute when you’re tired.” Levi’s head moved and he placed it above and beside my own, resting his chin on my shoulder.   
      “Didn’t I say that last night as well?”   
      “... Maybe…” He grinned lazily.   
      “I’m not supposed to be cute. I’m supposed to be aloof, mysterious and dangerous.”   
      “Are you drunk as well, Levi?” He nuzzled into my cheek, inhaling deeply.   
      “It’s your hair. It smells good.”   
      “I haven’t washed it in two weeks.”   
      “If I weren’t so fucking tired, I’d probably order you to go take a bath right now.”   
      “But…?”  
      “... But I’m too tired and I don’t want you to go right now.”   
      “Aww…”   
      “Shut up.” He grumbled. “It’s because of your hair, dammit.”   
      “My hair is making you drunk?”   
      “Mmhm.” I scoffed and peered back at him, which was very difficult to do, given the fact that his face was practically squished into my cheek.   
      “My hair has no alcoholic substances in it, thank you very much. It physically _cannot_ make you drunk.”   
      “Tch, well, I’m practically drowning in it.” Did it really smell that strongly?   
      “I can move my head if you-”   
      “No.” As if to prove his point, he moved his head and returned it behind mine, sniffing my hair and burying his nose into it. “I like it.”   
      “You must be fucking exhausted.”   
      “You act the same when you’re tired so shut up.”   
      “I’m adorable, I’m allowed to.”   
      “If you could tone down the adorableness at some point in the near future, that’d be a great help.” He mumbled, sleep sneaking into his voice. “It’s fucking distracting sometimes.” I yawned, my own eyes starting to get heavy.   
      “Sorry, it’s not something I can control. I just _am_ adorable.”   
      “Yeah but your adorableness tops the fucking charts, ‘kay? Find a way to stop it or so help me, I’ll…”   
      “You’ll what?”   
      “Uh…”   
      “You’ll what?” He didn’t speak, only hugged me closer.   
      “Nothing.” He growled. “Let’s just go to sleep.” I frowned. Was he angry?   
      “What’s up with you all of a sudden?”   
      “Nothing. I’m just tired.” I rolled my eyes and turned my body so it was facing him.   
      “No, there’s clearly something wrong.” I was slowly becoming more awake, now knowing that Levi was pissed off about something. Had I done something wrong?   
      “It’s nothing.” He muttered, avoiding looking at me. I pouted a little.   
      “Am I not adorable enough for you to tell me?” Even in the dim light of the room, I could see Levi’s cheeks flare up. He withdrew one of his arms around me to run his hand through his hair in embarrassment. It left it looking delectably messy.   
      “Shut up about that. I’ll tell you later. Probably.” I sighed.   
      “Fine. Let’s sle-” Because Levi is slightly taller than me, up until now he had been resting his head above me, or my head had been on his chest or on his shoulder. What took me by surprise is that he’d shimmied down a little and pushed me onto my back, resting his head on my chest and using it as a pillow.   
      “O-oh… Okay…” My cheeks were red but he couldn’t see them, thank god. His eyes were closed and he breathed deeply.   
      “I can’t smell your hair as much from here. ‘S prob’ly a good thing.” He murmured, his arms tightening around me.   
      “Y-yeah… Probably…” I could feel the corner of his mouth quirk up where it rested against my skin. I was scared to breathe too deeply and he could quite clearly hear my quickened heartbeat.   
      “‘Night.”   
      “Night…” He was asleep within minutes. It took me considerably longer to get to sleep. 

      The third time I woke up, it was daylight and I could hear people moving around and talking throughout the house. Levi was no longer there and I sighed. The mattress wasn’t warm either. The only clothes I could put on would be either Levi’s or my outsider ones, but I’d yet to wash them and they were covered in blood and dirt. I peeked outside Levi’s room. Sasha was just walking past as I did so.   
      “Oh, Sasha!” I smiled at her.   
      “You slept in the Captain’s bed?” She whispered conspiratorially. “Oh man, you didn’t do the do, did you?”   
      “What? No!” I was still flushing though. “There was nowhere else to sleep…”   
      “No, we have a spare room that Squad Leader Hanji was going to use but she didn’t want to leave Moblit and those other guys behind. You could have slept in there.” I blinked at her.   
      “I didn’t even know there was a spare room…”   
      “Didn’t the Captain tell you?” I shook my head. “Ohhhoooohh, well, I won’t pry or anything!” She did a very obvious wink at me. “You’re even wearing his clothes… Aww…”   
      “Sasha, please, concentrate. On the subject of clothes, actually, I really need something else to wear. My clothes yesterday are still dirty. I know you’re taller than me but Historia is shorter by a lot and you’re only taller than a little. Could I borrow some of your clothes?” Sasha grinned.   
      “No problem, wait right here!” She hurried off in the opposite direction, adding: “I like your hair!” I closed the door in the meantime. No-one else needed to know what I’d been staying in Levi’s room. Speaking of that, why didn’t Levi mention it? He could have easily have taken me to the spare room and let me sleep there, lending me some pyjamas or asking one of the girls for their clothes or something. Why didn’t he say something?   
      “HEY, GUYS!” I heard a voice that was distinctly Sasha shout excitedly. “RHIA AND LEVI SLEPT TOGETHER!” I heard a catcall or two, some woots and a collective groan.   
      “SERIOUSLY!?” A voice like Eren shrieked.   
      “Well, they more like slept in the same _bed…_ ” I could just about make out Sasha telling the truth. I sighed and shook my head. If Sasha was shouting that out, I could assume that Levi wasn’t there, or, at least, was a safe distance away. I heard a small yelp and then running footsteps. Or not. Sasha burst through the door and dumped the clothes on the bed, sprinting out again. Levi followed much slower. He stopped in front of the door and looked at me.   
      “I let you lie-in. It’s half ten.” His eyes very obviously trailed up and down my legs, like they had done last night. “We have no agenda for today. Just chores. Get dressed and there’ll be breakfast waiting for you. Take a bath today as well.” I nodded in appreciation and he continued down the way that Sasha had taken. I closed the door and got dressed, thankful that she had included underwear and shoes for me too. It was a long skirt and a simple green blouse. I hadn’t worn anything other than trousers in about a year. It didn’t feel at all right. Having just experienced sleepy-Levi, I was a little unprepared for normal-Levi. _Get over yourself_. I plan to. I walked out of the room, tying my hair up again. I reached the kitchen and just as Levi had said, some toast had been set out for me and Jean placed a cup of tea on the table. When I walked in, the room went silent and everyone looked at me with varying expressions: surprise, glee and mischief.   
      “So…” Eren grinned. “You and the Captain, huh?” I glared at him.   
      “Unless you want me to kick your ass, Jaeger, I’d suggest you be quiet.” He didn’t speak but he continued to grin smugly. I rolled my eyes and ate my toast, occasionally laughing at the conversation around me. It felt good to be home. Once I’d finished, people were setting off to do their chores. Historia pointed me towards the bath and I spent at least an hour in it. When I got in, I sighed and relaxed for at least twenty minutes, just happy that I could be clean after two weeks. I scrubbed off all the grime, blood and sweat that my body had produced and I washed my hair thoroughly, lathering my scalp in the nicest smelling shampoos. Anything to get the smell of torture off me. Once I’d washed up, I got out and dressed myself again. The skirt was distracting though. I looked down at it as I walked, watching it swish about my feet. I almost bumped into Mikasa that way, who was holding linen in her arms.   
      “Oof, sorry, Mikasa.” I apologised.   
      “It’s fine. You seemed to be distracted by your feet…?” I smiled sheepishly.   
      “Oh, it’s the skirt. I’ve not worn one for ages so it feels a little… weird. I’m going to need to get more uniform and gear as soon as possible.”   
      “You’ve been wearing trousers for so long?” Even Mikasa was surprised.   
      “They’ve never really been my thing. I always had to wear trousers on the outside and I only ever wore my uniform in the walls. Those stupid military parties were annoying as well, so I only went to one of those once. I just never really had the opportunity to wear one.”   
      “When was the last time you wore one?”   
      “About a year ago, I wore a dress to a military party*. I’m almost scared to go outside in case the wind blows it up…”   
      “It won’t, trust me.” Mikasa smiled. “If I were you, I’d wash your clothes as quickly as possible and leave them to dry so you can wear them comfortably again tomorrow.”   
      “Good idea. I’ll let you get back to your chores.” We passed each other and I grabbed my clothes from Levi’s room before filling a bucket with soapy water and taking that and the washboard outside. It was sunny and quite warm as I scrubbed my clothes, getting suds everywhere. Halfway through washing, I realised I wasn’t wearing my gloves. _Must have left them in Levi’s room_. I shrugged and continued washing my trousers. I was looking forward to wearing them. As I pegged out the washing on the line, I reflected that the skirt wasn’t so bad. I almost enjoyed the swishiness of the fabric and I felt a little more feminine; something I’d never really experienced before. When I could confirm that no-one was watching, I spun around five times, watching the skirt billow out around me. I peeked to make sure my secret was safe and returned to putting the washing up, smiling to myself. Skirts were okay.   
      When I finished, I decided that I would do everyone’s washing as well anyway. I never used to like doing it but it felt a little more homely now. A little more domestic. After I’d collected everyone’s dirty washing, I scrubbed until it was just gone noon. It was pretty hot outside by then and I wiped my forehead, finally finishing the scrubbing. Then I had to peg it all out. It took me another hour or so (there was a lot of washing), but when I’d finished, I was bored. Was there wood that needed to be chopped? I walked around the side of the cabin, to the stables, and found an alarmingly small supply of wood that had been chopped. Looks like I’d be chopping wood. Once I’d confirmed that no-one else had been tasked with that, I set to work. There were a _lot_ of trees in the immediate vicinity and I hacked down four trees that were nearby. I chopped them into smaller pieces and carried each piece to the chopping block. My hands were raw from washing and I wasn’t fond of splinters, so I ran back inside and put on the gloves before returning to work. Chopping the wood felt good. I imagined the logs were Dexter’s head or Jayden’s head.   
      Thinking about Dexter made me realise something. My list was done. I had exterminated all of the bandits on the list. I’d exacted revenge on them. Now… I had no real purpose. That thought made me pause and I lowered the axe, staring at the log and looking like a moron. What did I have left to accomplish in this world? I couldn’t avenge Greyjoy; I already had done. I had murdered the bastards that had murdered my mum, I’d now killed all of the motherfuckers that had raped me… What now? I’d just be endlessly killing Titans and other bandits, ones that meant nothing to me, for the rest of my life. Did I want that? No. I had nothing left to do. _Would it be easier to end it all? You’ve done what you’ve needed to do. You don’t need to be here anymore. You can escape this world_. Escape this Titan-infested, murderous failure of a world? I’d love to. It was all shit anyway. I could just go and no-one would really noti-   
      I blinked. Yes, they would. My ‘death’ had sparked grief in my friends. How could I have forgotten my friends? I had entertained the idea of leaving them all behind when I knew that I needed them. They had all mourned me once. I couldn’t let them do it again. They’d proven that they’d cared. I couldn’t put them through that all over again. _Sounds like a new purpose_. A new purpose? Perhaps. To keep the children alive for as long as possible, to make sure they never went through grief for me again, to make sure they were always safe? That sounded like a worthy purpose. And, of course, I couldn’t forget Levi. I had to live for him. He had mourned for two weeks, twice as long as I had thought, and I could see that he was happy I was back. Even if it wasn’t love that fuelled his happiness, it fuelled mine, and I would make sure he remained happy. I picked up the axe and swung it at the block, cleaving it in two. My mind was made up and it would never be changed.   
      The rest of the day was filled with sweeping the floors, cleaning the windows and at one point, fixing the roof. A whole bunch of the thatch roof had been blown off and had nearly hit poor Armin on the head, so I volunteered to fix it. Turned out, most of the thatchwork was loose so it took a while to stick it all back down again. When I’d finally finished, it was dinner time and I was starving. Jean had made mashed potato with sausages that he and Levi had gone to get in the closest town (about two hours away) and it was bloody delicious. There wasn’t enough space at the table but we pulled up an extra table and I sat at the corner between Historia and Armin. I didn’t participate much in conversation, more content in listening to them talk.   
      “So we’ll be doing some work with you in your Titan form, Eren.” Levi said, pushing his plate away and drinking his tea. “Hanji and Moblit will be heading down the day after tomorrow, they’re wrapping up a few things about the pastor still.” I blinked and looked up from the potato.   
      “The pastor? How is Nick doing?” There was a long pause and I didn’t like it. “What’s happened to Nick?”   
      “He was murdered.” My breath caught momentarily. “The Military Police did it. They tortured him first for information before killing him.” The room was silent as I absorbed this information. I looked down at my meal.   
      “Right…” I muttered. “I’ve missed more than I thought…” Historia’s hand on my arm made me look up and I plastered a small smile on my face. “Sorry to bring the mood down.”   
      “It’s fine…” Jean muttered, still eying me worriedly. I didn’t respond so conversation slowly picked up again. _Looks like we have yet another mission_. Indeed. Dinner was delicious and me and Eren washed up as the others chatted about hobbies and things they liked. Apparently, they’d never really been able to talk about those things when they were trainees as there were so many of them, but now that they’d been condensed into a much smaller group, they could really get to know each other. Levi had sat himself down in the armchair and Jean was stretched out over the couch, Connie sitting by his feet and Sasha on the floor between them. The rest of the group were sat at the table, their chairs positioned so they could all see each other.   
      “Well, there’s not really anything else you need to know about me…” Armin muttered. “You all know I like to read… I like doing science and math as well, I guess. I like science more though.”   
      “Why?” Connie pressed.   
      “I guess it’s always endless. There’s still so much that we don’t know about and science is what helps us unlock it all. I can look at a number and know pretty much everything about it, but with science, I can look at a tree and always be discovering new things about that tree. It’s infinite.” I smiled softly as I handed a plate to Eren to dry up. Eren was smiling too.   
      “That’s pretty cool.” Sasha said. “How about you, Springer?”   
      “Uh, I don’t really have anything… I like playing around, you know? I’ll do anything that’s fun. I like climbing trees, I guess. I can do this freaky little magic trick too!” He held out his hand and did a trick that I’d seen many times. It used to startle me but now that I understood it, it simply amused me. The trick was the ‘Missing Thumb’, where you had to fool your audience that you’d separated your thumb and could move it along your index finger, blocking what was really happening with your finger. It was pretty nifty.   
      “W-whoa, how’d you do that?” Sasha demanded.   
      “I’m a wizard, Braus.” Connie boasted with a smug smile.   
      “What do you like, Jean?” Armin pulled the conversation away to him. Jean looked up from staring out the window, sitting on the sofa.   
      “Hm? Oh, I liked books as well. I used to read a lot and volunteer in the local shops. Cooking is my passion though.” He replied.   
      “Nice.” Connie complimented. “Jaeger, you’re up!” Eren shrugged, turning around to face his friends as he dried off a cup.   
      “I got into a lot of fights when I was younger, I guess that was one of my hobbies. I used to read with Armin as well and we used to think about the outside a lot.”   
      “Not bad. Mikasa?”   
      “I was the one who got Eren out of those fights.” She said, ignoring Eren’s scoff. “I’m pretty good with a needle and thread too.”   
      “I never knew that.” Armin blinked at her.   
      “Mostly it was before I met you, Armin.” She explained. Armin was still confused until realisation broke across his face and he nodded solemnly. _Clearly something happened before she met Armin…  
_ “Historia, what did you used to do when you were younger?” Armin turned to her.   
      “I used to listen to my sister read a lot and I’d read fairy tales to myself. I also… I liked to dance too.” She confessed with a sheepish blush. I’d never been very good at dancing. Formal dancing at least.   
      “You dance?” Eren tilted his head.   
      “Eh, only sometimes. It was more just spinning and jumping around when I was younger.” She rubbed the back of her neck with embarrassment.   
      “Aww, Historia.” I teased, winking at her. “Come on, Sasha, what did you get up to?”   
      “Well, because I was from a hunting village, I was taught how to hunt in the forest a lot so I practiced climbing trees loads. I like to cook as well but my absolute _favourite_ thing to do was play my guitar and sing.” I turned back to her and grinned.   
      “You too, huh?”   
      “You play and sing too?” She smiled.   
      “I _did_. Left my guitar back in my cave outside Wall Maria six years ago. Haven’t been back since.”   
      “What kind was it?” Sasha fussed. I shrugged.   
      “I dunno. Just your average six string. It was a little battered but I’d had it since I was a kid.”   
      “What did you used to do when you were younger? Or living outside the walls?” Armin piped up. I dried my hands, having finished washing up the last plate, and leaned against the counter.   
      “Well, when Dad was still alive, he taught me how to play a bit of guitar. Just a few simple chords and some songs. Then he and Mum used to sing and I’d try and play along. Sometimes I’d get it, other times, it’d be the worst thing you’d ever heard.” I got a laugh for that. “When he died, I was fourteen, I didn’t have much spare time, the rest of my days were spent training with my mother. Mum died when I was seventeen and I suddenly had a load of free time. When I wasn’t trying to hunt, I was reading old books that we used to have and I was practicing with the guitar. I also used to do a lot of sketching of wildlife and plants and stuff. Greyjoy came along and-”         “Who’s Greyjoy?” I blinked. Oh. Even Levi looked up, wondering what I’d say.   
      “Oh, I haven’t told you about him, have I?”   
      “No…” Eren muttered, his eyes wide with curiosity.   
      “Oh… Sorry. Um, Greyjoy was my best friend for a few years. He was… I suppose some people might call him a pet but he really wasn’t. He was a huge wolf, about twice the size of a horse. He was more of a companion than a pet.”   
      “A wolf that was _twice the size of a horse_!?” Armin gasped. “I’ve never heard of those!”   
      “I think he was the last of his species. He found me when I was injured and he stayed with me until I’d healed myself. Practically inseparable from then on.” I explained. “Greyjoy used to like listening to me play the guitar.”   
      “What happened to him?” My mouth tasted bitter.   
      “He was poached.” I informed them. “Poisoned bolt in his flank and then stabbed in the stomach.” I unlooped the necklace and chucked it over to Armin so he could see it. “I cut that out of his mouth before I buried him.” Armin’s look of awe was almost adorable.   
      “Wow… I’d never have dreamed that there were animals like that out there… Was he intelligent?”   
      “Oh yeah, he was freaky smart. He had a sort of way to communicate with me, just certain sounds, how his ears were, eye contact, things like that.”   
      “That sounds amazing… When did he pass?” I watched as Greyjoy’s tooth was passed around.   
      “About six or seven years ago. Three months before I joined the Survey Corps. He’d been with me for seven years; I met him when I was twenty.”   
      “He must have been a great friend.” I smiled at Armin.   
      “He was. One of the best.” Sasha seemed to notice that I was still a little upset over Greyjoy’s death and changed the subject.   
      “So, he liked to listen to you play? What songs do you know?” I crossed my arms and leaned against the table.   
      “I know a good few, most of them are songs from a long long time ago that we’ve managed to remember. Some of them have things in that we wouldn’t understand. A few of them were sang to me as lullabies actually.” Sasha gasped all of a sudden.   
      “I’ll be right back!” She scrambled to her feet and rushed out of the room. We all blinked after her.   
      “Uh…” I muttered.   
      “She’s excited about something.” Jean observed casually, leaning his head back on the arm of the sofa and closing his eyes. Her footsteps returned and she walked in, holding up a guitar triumphantly.   
      “I made sure to pack this when we headed out!” She said cheerily, walking over and handing it to me. I frowned at it and then her.   
      “What?”   
      “Play for us!”   
      “What? No, no, no, I haven’t played for years, I’ve probably forgotten how. You should play for us.”   
      “We’ve heard her play before,” Connie complained, “Back when we were trainees, we want to hear you play!” I blinked.   
      “L-like I said, I’ve probably forgotten how-”   
      “You won’t know ‘til you try!” Sasha bounced up and down excitedly.   
      “I-I… Fine.” I sighed and Armin moved his chair up so I could sit on the table between them all. “This is going to sound so shit…” I crossed my legs and propped the guitar up on my leg, strumming experimentally. It was tuned perfectly. I practiced a few chords, surprised that I could actually still remember them and attempted the introduction to a song Dad had taught me. I managed to play it without fucking up, shockingly.   
      “What song was that?”   
      “‘Better Together’. Dad used to sing it to Mum all the time.”   
      “Will you sing it?” I shrugged.   
      “If I can remember the words, sure… I guess.” Now what were they? I went through the lyrics in my head, humming aloud occasionally and strumming the guitar. I still knew them all. Now I just had to pluck up the courage to sing in front of them all.   
      “Uh, this’ll probably sound shit…”   
      “It’s fine, just play!” Sasha grinned.   
“Alright…” I started the introduction again and stared at my feet as I bobbed it to the rhythm. “ _There’s no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard. No song that I could sing but I could try for your heart. Our dreams, and they are made out of real things like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving. Love is the answer, at least, for most of the questions in my heart like: Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it’s so hard? It’s not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s always better when we’re together._ ” Things were going alright so far… “ _Mmm, it’s always better when we’re together. Yeah, we’ll look at the stars when we’re together. Well, it’s always better when we’re together. Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together._ ” I fucked up in the next little guitar part. “ _Shit... And all of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight but I know that they’ll be gone when the morning light sings and brings new things for tomorrow night, you see, that they’ll be gone too. Too many things I have to do. But if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene, I’d be under the impression I was somewhere in between, with only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do, or places we got to be, we’ll sit beneath the mango tree now._ ” And back to the chorus. “ _Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together. Mmm, we’re somewhere in between together. Well, it’s always better when we’re together. Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together._ ” I continued the guitar, humming along and not daring to look up from the floor. “ _I believe in memories, they look so… so pretty when I sleep. Hey now, and when I wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me,_ ” I made sure not to look at Levi when I sang that, “ _But there is not enough time and there is no, no song I could sing, and there is no… combination of words I could say but I will still tell you one thing: we’re better together._ ” I finished the song with a final strum after some more guitar. “And there you have it.”   
      “That was awesome!” Connie cheered.   
      “That sounded really cool, Rhia.” Armin complimented.   
      “What else do you know?” Mikasa questioned. Wow, that was unexpected.   
      “Uh… You guys wanna hear more?”   
      “Yeah!”   
“Oh… Okay… This one is a song that my Dad actually taught me how to play rather than giving me the chords and leaving me to it.” I strummed the guitar delicately. “ _Tell me that you turn down the man who asks for your hand 'cause you're waiting for me. And I know, you're gonna be away a while but I've got no plans at all to leave… And would you take away my hopes and dreams and just stay with me? All my senses come to life while I'm stumbling home as drunk as I have ever been and I'll never leave again ‘cause you are the only one. And all my friends have gone to find another place to let their hearts collide. Just promise me, you'll never leave again ‘cause you are the only one…_ ” I’d forgotten how much I loved to sing, this song in particular. I beat the back of my boot against the table leg as a rhythm.   
“ _Take my hand and my heart and soul, I will only have these eyes for you. And you know, everything changes but we'll be strangers if we see this through. You could stay within these walls and bleed or just stay with me, oh lord, now. All my senses come to life while I'm stumbling home as drunk as I have ever been and I'll never leave again ‘cause you are the only one. And all my friends have gone to find another place to let their hearts collide. Just promise me, you'll always be a friend ‘cause you are the only one. I'm stumbling off drunk, getting myself lost. I am so gone, so tell me the way home. I listen to sad songs, singing about love and where it goes wrong…_ ” I’d always struggled with making the note as long as it was supposed to be. Greyjoy used to howl the note longer than I could and it always annoyed me, to his delight. Somehow, I fucking managed it this time. Pressure, perhaps.   
“ _All my senses come to life while I'm stumbling home as drunk as I have ever been and I'll never leave again ‘cause you are the only one. And all my friends have gone to find another place to let their hearts collide. Just promise me, you'll always be a friend ‘cause you are the only one…_ ” I passed the guitar back to Sasha. “No more now, I’m fucking exhausted.”   
      “Aww, please!”   
      “No, I’m probably going to bed in a minute anyway.”   
      “She’s got a point.” Levi spoke for the first time in almost half an hour, his book discarded. When had he put his book down?   
      “But Captain-”   
      “Today was only a small break, I figured I’d give you all a day off since Rhia came back to us, but tomorrow we’re back to training. Off to bed. Now.”   
      “Will you sing us a lullaby, Rhia?” I frowned at Historia.   
      “Why do you want a lullaby?”   
      “Bad dreams.” She said simply and my eyes softened.   
      “Alright. Everyone go and get changed and into bed. I’ll be there in a minute.” Since all of the ex-trainees slept in the same room, they’d all get to hear it. As the kids went to get ready for bed, Levi looked at me.   
      “I didn’t know you could sing. Or play guitar.” I shrugged.   
      “It never came up. Can you sing?”   
      “Never tried it.” I squinted at him, crossing my arms.   
      “I don’t believe that for a second. You must have sang before.”   
      “Nope.”   
      “Lies. Tell me the truth.” He rolled his eyes.   
      “I only know one fucking song, okay? Maybe two, if I can remember the words.” I grinned.   
      “Would you sing for me?”   
      “No.”   
      “Why not?”   
      “Because I don’t want to.”   
      “Tch, fine. Will you _ever_ sing for me?” He sighed.   
      “Maybe. Probably not.”   
      “I’ll take what I can get.” I grumbled.   
      “Rhia! We’re ready!” Even Levi looked surprise at Connie’s claim.   
      “Bullshit.” He muttered, rising to his feet. “They take at least half an hour to fucking get changed.” I scoffed.   
      “Who knows, let’s go check.” When we walked into their room, we were very shocked to see that Connie was right; they were all in bed and ready to sleep. “Wow, check you guys out, you’re actually ready for bed. That took you, what, two minutes?”   
      “New record.” Connie said smugly. Levi rolled his eyes.   
      “Will you sing for us now, Rhia?” Historia asked hopefully.   
      “If you want.” I approached her bed and sat on the side, turning down the gaslamp beside her bed. “But will you all actually fall asleep when I’m finished? That’s what lullabies are meant to do.”   
      “If I’m to be brutally honest,” Jean admitted, “No, we’re not. We’re probably going to beat each other up silently and talk really quietly for the next few hours while you and the Captain get it on.”   
      “I’m going to pointedly ignore that, Jean, but if you make that remark again, I won’t hesitate to put you on cleaning duties for the entirety of tomorrow, primarily the toilet and the stables.” He didn’t respond and I smirked triumphantly, Historia giggling a little and yawning. “So none of you are tired at all?”   
      “Not really.” Eren said truthfully.   
      “Hm. Well, conveniently, I know a song for that.” I paused before starting, turning the lamp down a little more as I did so. “ _Stay awake, don’t rest your head. Don’t lie down upon your bed. While the moon drifts in the skies… Stay awake… Don’t close your eyes…_ ” Historia was practically asleep already, probably being the most tired of them all. I turned off her lamp, stroked her hair once before moving around the room to turn off all the lamps, singing as I went.   
      “ _Though the world is fast asleep… Though your pillow’s soft and deep… You’re not sleepy as you seem… Stay awake, don’t nod and dream…_ ” I reached the final lamp; Armin’s. “ _Stay awake…_ ” I turned it off and placed a comforting hand on Armin’s forehead as he drifted off. “ _Don’t nod… and… dream…_ ” Everyone who was in bed was fast asleep. Silently, I left the room with Levi and closed the door behind us.   
      “Remember when I told you that you’d be a good mother?” Levi muttered as we walked towards his room. “I wasn’t kidding.” I snorted.   
      “That’s just me helping them sleep, that’s all.”   
      “Whichever way you spin it, they see you as a motherly figure now.” He told me. We reached his room and it occurred to me that he still wasn’t telling me about the spare room. We walked in and he handed me another shirt. I noticed that he didn’t bother with handing me any pyjama bottoms.   
      “When I was in town, I told Hanji that you were alive. She’s gone to get you a new uniform, more gear and more clothes. When she gets here in a few days, you’ll have your stuff back.” I nodded and turned to the door before pausing.   
      “Am I in here tonight?” I asked meekly, trying to look as innocent as possible. He tilted his head at me as he unbuttoned his shirt completely unashamedly. _Damn him…  
_ “Where else would you be?” He asked, pulling the shirt off and folding it neatly on a chair.   
      “The spare room.” I arched an eyebrow at him, trying very hard to keep my eyes off of his body which was _very_ difficult. “Sasha said that the cabin has a spare room…”   
      “It does.” Levi muttered, looking away for a moment in what looked like annoyance.   
      “If we have a spare room… Then why was I in here last night?” He didn’t speak. “Levi.” He sighed but still didn’t respond. “Levi.”   
      “I had to make sure that you were here.” He mumbled. “I didn’t want to leave you alone in there after everything that had happened. So I let you stay in here with me. It was easier to reassure myself that I wasn’t dreaming if I could wake up and see you next to me, okay?” Levi had _never_ been so sincerely honest with me as he was then. It seemed my apparent death really had struck a chord within him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and placed the shirt on the bed, casting aside all hesitation and hugging Levi. He returned the embrace and sighed.   
      “It’s okay now. I’m back.”   
      “Well, I know that _now_.” I laughed into his shoulder and pulled back, picking up the shirt again.   
      “Am I in here again tonight or… would you rather I move to the spare room?”   
      “Do what you want.” He shrugged, rifling through his drawers and pulling out pyjama bottoms for himself. Unsure whether he was going to strip right in front of me or not (he’d already stripped his shirt off in front of me, I wouldn’t be surprised if he took his trousers off too), I turned to the door.   
      “I’m comfortable in here.” I murmured and left to change in the bathroom. Once I’d changed, I made my way back to Levi’s room. Or our room, rather. He was already in bed and the gaslamp was dim. I placed Sasha’s folded clothes next to Levi’s and crawled into bed, untying my hair and settling back into the mattress on my back. Levi turned out the lamp and did the same, pulling the covers halfway up our torsos. As he was doing this, panicked thoughts ran through my head. Was the hugging last night only because I was back and very definitely alive? Was it because I was emotional last night? Was it because _he_ was emotional last night? Was it because he was so tired last night he didn’t know what he was doing? He’d said a lot of things that only a drunk would consider saying really, and that was only if that drunk wasn’t Levi at all. Did he even remember what he-   
      “I thought I told you to keep your hair down more often.” Levi muttered as he moved over and wrapped his arms around my waist. Okay… He does remember… Officially huggers in bed now…   
      “I keep it down every night, that should be good enough for you.” I teased.   
      “Hardly.” He buried his nose into my hair again and I couldn’t even hope to mask the shiver. “You had a bath then.”   
      “Did I really stink that bad?”   
      “It wasn’t so bad. Your hair smells different though.”   
      “Is it a good different or a bad different? You weren’t entirely clear whether my hair actually smelled nice or not last night.” I heard him inhale.   
      “Neither. It smells fucking amazing right now but this is the result of the hair lotion and conditioner, right? Last night, it was more like your natural scent.”   
      “I have a natural scent?”   
      “Mmhm.”   
      “I didn’t think I did. What is it like?” I felt him shrug lightly.   
      “Can’t describe it. Just smells like you.”   
      “Is that go-”   
      “Yes.”   
      “Right… Great.”   
      “What about me? Do I have a smell?” _Yes, you do, and I fucking love it.  
_ “Yeah, you do. I suppose everyone has their own sort of smell about them, right?”   
      “Well, what do I smell like?”   
      “It’s indescribable, same as mine. It just… smells like you.”   
      “You can’t smell me from there, liar.” I rolled my eyes with a laugh.   
      “I can smell you from your pillows, your sheets and your shirt that I’m wearing.”   
      “... Fine.” What was he getting at? Did he want me to turn around? _Take him by surprise_. Sounds fun. I turned around and moved myself up a little, plunging my fingers and face into his hair and inhaling deeply.   
      “W-what… Oh.”   
      “Did you just stammer?”   
      “No…” I grinned.   
      “Of course you didn’t.” I sniffed again. There really was no way to describe how he smelled. He had a cotton-like smell, a clean sort of scent, but it was kind of musky as well. I relayed this information to him.   
      “Hm. Interesting.”   
      “Alright, I’ve told you how you smell. Tell me how I smell now.” He sighed and pulled me close, taking some of my hair into his hand and bringing it to his nose so he could inhale.   
      “Your hair doesn’t smell of you right now.” He tucked his face into my neck and sniffed there instead. “Your skin does, though. You smell sort of like… soap. That’s probably your bath earlier, though. There’s… grass. A woody kind of smell. You sort of smell like the forest.” I smiled.   
      “Cool.” I mumbled, yawning. “Should probably sleep now if we’ve got training to do.”   
      “Will you be able to participate tomorrow?”   
      “If I managed to fight my way out of the castle _and_ climb Wall Rose in one day, I think I can help train tomorrow.”   
      “Tch, alright, fine. ‘Night.” I threaded my fingers through his hair some more.   
      “‘Night.” I whispered, closing my eyes and relaxing. After a few seconds, I was close to falling asleep.   
      “What are you doing?” I heard a muffled voice come from my neck. I cracked my eyes open.   
      “What?” I muttered sleepily.   
      “Your hands.” Levi moved his face from my neck minutely so I could hear him properly. “They’re in my hair.”   
      “Yeah… So?”   
      “What are they doing?” I looked at them. They were just… kneading his scalp and stroking his hair… What was wrong with that? _You’re exhausted again._  
      “I’m just stroking your hair, so? Figured it’d help you sleep or something…” Levi paused.   
      “... Keep doing it.” He mumbled, pushing his face back into my neck and tightening his arms around me. Still practically drunk, I moved my leg so that it was wrapped around his torso, tucked under his left arm, and I yawned.   
      “G’night again.” He repositioned himself for a moment, propping his body up. “What are you-” His hand gripped my left leg and he tugged it underneath him so it could wrap around his torso as well. “W-wait, L-Levi-” He’d already settled back down as though he hadn’t just grabbed my bare thigh and pulled it around him. “I… U-uh…” He bunched his legs up underneath me and I swallowed thickly. I was basically wrapped up against him, completely cocooned against his body.   
      “Go to sleep.” He murmured into my throat.   
      “R-right… ‘Night…” How was I supposed to fall asleep now? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Another little chapter that I'll be posting in the little extra oneshots in a few months time. Expect fluff.


	9. Triggers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's news of a night raid brings Rhia's falsely secure world down and the 104th Squad and their Captains must lead them to safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I've updated, sorry about that, I've sort of suffered from some writer's block. I wanted to show that sometimes Levi makes big mistakes and he can be unthinking in what he says and does so this is pretty angsty and you might see this as OOC, though personally, given the circumstances of the situation, I don't. 
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains graphic violence, mentions of rape, a trigger moment and language of a sexual nature.

      I’d recovered well, I’m happy to say and my limbs no longer felt like metal girders whenever I moved, though training was still a bit of a push. I saw Hanji a few days later and she surprised me with a hug that lasted a minute. I’d continued to sleep in Levi’s room and after Levi’s chase after Sasha, no-one mentioned it anymore. We were slowly slipping into a domestic routine which I enjoyed. I hadn’t really had one since Isabel and Farlan were alive, having been promoted along with Levi shortly after that expedition so our schedules changed every day. It had been so long since I could settle down and simply do chores and train. There were always meetings to go to back at HQ, and paperwork to fill out and errands to run, but now? I could more or less relax. It was like I was an ordinary soldier again, or back being the Survivor outside the walls. It was fantastic, a feeling I could get drunk on. I felt safe surrounded by my new family in the country.   
      “We’ve got instructions from Erwin.” Levi’s words had brought my false sense of security crashing down. _I should never have allowed myself to get used to this_ , I thought bitterly.   
      “What are they?” I tried not to sigh. Levi’s perceptiveness meant he could clearly see my malcontent with this news but he didn’t say anything about it. Yet.   
      “We have to leave here. Now. We’re being closed in on.” He handed me the letter as I tried to overcome my shock. I read it over and this time, I allowed myself to sigh.   
      “Typical.” I grumbled. “Just as life was starting to get somewhat normal again.”   
      “You’re not happy with these developments then.” Levi cocked an eyebrow at me. I looked at him incredulously.   
      “Of course I’m not happy with this. We’d just settled into a routine, we were more or less happy here. Now we’ve got to leave? Just goes to show life is shit wherever we go.” He crossed his arms.   
      “Then don’t let it get to you. We’re still together, right?” I looked up at him. “After all these years, we’ve stuck together and we’re not dead yet, are we? Shit follows us wherever we go but we’ve managed to deal with it so far. We’re gonna keep dealing with it and keep sticking together. Okay?” I huffed a mirthless chuckle.   
      “Yeah, you’re right. Six whole years of death and morbidity and we’re still alive and pulling through. Not many people can say that, I guess.”   
      “Exactly, so get a hold of yourself. If the brats see you discouraged then they’re gonna give up.” I snorted.   
      “I doubt that. It’s if you give up that they’ll stop trying.” He frowned at me, voices approaching from outside. The kids were back from their wood gathering. The sky was almost dark.   
      “What do you mean?” He muttered.   
      “You always have a plan, right?” I smiled softly. “You’re our leader, Levi. Lead us to safety. Then lead us back into danger and then back into safety. Because Erwin commands it, that asshole.” It was said with affection, I assure you. His frown didn’t leave his face until everyone came in, wood in all of their arms.   
      “We’re home!” Eren called, dumping the wood on the floor. “We got enough to last us for another week or two.” He sounded so proud and he turned with a cheesy grin.   
      “Man, I’m starving!” Sasha complained. “I can’t wait to get some food on the go…”   
      “That won’t be possible.” Levi interrupted. The group stared at him.   
      “What’s going on?” Armin asked. “Has something happened?”   
      “Read this.” I held the folded letter out to Eren and he opened it up, everyone looking over his shoulder as they read it. They all reacted with shock when they reached Erwin’s news.   
      “Have you seen it all?”   
      “Yes…” Armin said and Eren handed it back to Levi. “Captain Levi… What is this…?”   
      “Erwin’s instructions.” Levi explained as he burned the letter. “So you believe him?” He asked as the parchment went up in flames. “All idiots who believe him, head out with me and Rhia.”   
      “Gather all necessities.” I instructed. “Pack your bags and your coats, we’re leaving in ten minutes. We can’t waste any time.” Everyone nodded and rushed off at once, scurrying past us to get ready. Levi and I headed to our room and started packing our things.   
      “What’s the plan then? Are we sticking with Erwin’s instructions or improvising?” I questioned as I stuffed my outsider clothes in my backpack.   
      “We’ll get our muskets and get out of here quickly. We won’t stop walking until we reach the ridge that overlooks this cabin. We’ll be able to see the lay of the land from there. We’ll have no horses so we’ll have to walk to Trost.” He informed me. “We leave Eren and Historia in a secure location and then Jean and Armin will step in. We follow them and rescue them.” I nodded.   
      “Well, that’s as far ahead planning as we need, I think. As long as we’re out of here before the Military Police get here, we should be alright.” I contemplated my pyjamas. Were they really necessary?   
      “What are you doing?” Levi had noticed my dilemma.   
      “I’m not sure whether to take my pyjamas or not. I mean… I tend to sleep in your clothes…” I turned my head so he couldn’t see how pink my face went.   
      “Leave them here then.” He said simply and continued packing. Well, I couldn’t argue with him there. I tossed them back in the cupboard and attached my blade sheath to my thigh and yanked my coat on over it, masking it from view.   
      “Alright, I’m ready.” I declared, now frowning at my spear. How was I going to keep it on my back with my backpack? I was going to be holding a musket so I couldn’t carry it.   
      “Now what?” Levi’s tone was of amusement.   
      “How am I going to sheath the spear? My backpack is going to obstruct it and I’ll be holding my musket…” Levi paused and then walked over.   
      “How much have you got in your pack?” He asked, opening it.   
      “My outsider clothes, my little bag with my sketchbook, my mask and scarf, a set of Scout’s uniform and underwear, and I’m wearing the civilian wear I’ll be taking… I’m not going to be able to fit the spear in there if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s as tall as me, for god’s sake.” He rolled his eyes at me.    
      “I wasn’t suggesting that, I’m not a fucking dumbass. I’m suggesting you put your stuff in my bag, that way you can take the spear too.” I stared at him. “What? I’m not expecting you to leave it behind. Besides, you’re a master with it, we’re gonna need your skill. I’ve got a feeling we’re gonna be fighting humans more than Titans now.” I swallowed. I didn’t know if I hoped that was true or not.   
      “Alright… How much space have you got in your bag then?”   
      “Enough for your stuff.” He remarked and opened the pack up again. I rolled my clothes up into an even smaller bundle and shoved it in. It wasn’t as neat as Levi would have liked it and he looked at me pointedly.   
      “You can rearrange it how you like when we’re out of here, okay dear?” I said sarcastically and closed his pack, shoving my empty bag under the bed. I wasn’t used to the coat so I struggled with the string-sheath for a moment around my back. I fumbled for a few seconds before Levi batted my hands away and fixed it for me. He sheathed the spear for me and I turned and nodded my thanks. He inclined his head as well, watching me for another few seconds.   
      “What? Have I got something on my face?” I blinked, wiping at my cheek.   
      “No.” He muttered and strode towards the door. “Come on, we’ve gotta move out now.” _How odd of him_. I shrugged it off and followed him. Everyone accumulated in the main room and we headed out. The light of the moon lit the way, thankfully. Having already memorised the land surrounding our cabin for the next two or three miles, I led the way, musket at the ready. When we walked through the forest, we were walking in almost pure darkness as we couldn’t chance lighting a torch or a lantern.   
      “Everyone hold onto the person in front of you.” I whispered into the black. “We can’t afford to lose anyone in here.” As I was leading, Levi was bringing up the rear. I felt Jean grip the back of my cloak and after a few seconds, we continued to move on. We left the forest and climbed the ridge that overlooked the cabin and peered down. Men had surrounded the cabin and were searching inside, weapons of all sorts out and at the ready.   
      “Shit…” I cursed softly.   
      “So dangerous…” Connie muttered. “To think that we might have been sleeping there…”   
      “We would have been slaughtered in our sleep.” I murmured.   
      “What happens now?” Connie asked.   
      “Captain,” Armin directed the question to Levi, “Are those the Central Military Police?” Levi hesitated.   
      “I’m not sure. I don’t think the Central Military Police would run here personally. We’re really being underestimated by them.” He muttered the final part to me with a slightly confused tone and I huffed a laugh. “Hurry and reach the meeting point. The moon will shine our way. We’re lucky.” We continued on our way, heading to Wall Rose. We decided that Klorva was the district that they’d expect us to go to (that or Nedlay because Yalkell was too risky), so we headed to Trost, a district that was familiar to everyone. Many of the new recruits hadn’t been back there since the breach was made and then plugged up again. 

      Shortly before we reached Trost, we dropped our packs, Eren, and Historia off at an abandoned cabin, leaving them extra ammunition just in case. We locked them in after assuring them that we’d return for them by dusk and left. When we at last reached Trost, we looked conspicuous, it had to be said. But we had to cross through. Our muskets were tucked under our coats, cleverly disguised by them. We walked in a huddle, making sure Jean and Armin’s faces were more or less hidden. Armin didn’t look very uncomfortable at all in the skirt he was wearing, which I was surprised about. I was even more surprised that it sort of suited him. He looked cute. We had to keep walking until an old woman with a baby showed up. That was our signal that the trap was being sprung.   
      “Hey.” Oh shit. “You’re… Aren’t you Levi? And Rhia?” Shiiiit. Everything happened at once.   
      “IT’S REALLY YOU!”   
      “I’VE SEEN YOU BEFORE AS WELL!”   
      “HUMANITY’S GREATEST SOLDIERS LEVI AND RHIA!”   
      “Why are you so short?” One man questioned as they all huddled around us. “I always see them on horses but they really are miniature…”   
      “You are blocking my way.” Levi growled as politely as he could.   
      “First, listen to us. Listen to us peasants for a moment. With soldiers like you hiding out here, we can’t do our business.” This is bad… “We and other citizens distrust the soldiers, and are afraid to come near them. If we don’t earn money, we don’t get to eat. But soldiers of the Garrison leave without a trace, and thieves, seizing the chance, have assaulted us! And the taxes don’t show signs of decreasing, not a bit! How do you expect the civilians to live? Why exactly did things happen like this? And why do the Titans keep assaulting?” Man, this tall guy had a lot of questions. “I know. It’s because the Scouting Legion isn’t doing enough by far.” Now wait just a minute there… “So that’s what my own business is like. I can only blame myself if I don’t earn money. Putting forth the effort and getting nothing in return is common-place. Yet what about you?” The man leaned in. “Even when you’ve clearly achieved nothing, you still have food to eat.”   
      “Right?” Another man piped up. “What are you doing walking down this street so openly? Are you shopping?”   
      “You even have women to keep you company. Such dignity.” One man leered at Sasha and I shoved him away from her. As the first speaker continued talking to Levi, the pervert snapped at me.   
      “You may be one of humanity’s strongest soldiers but touch me again and I’ll-”   
      “You’ll what?” I spat. “Leer at me as you did to this fifteen year old girl? You lecherous fool-”   
      “Hey! Be careful!” Levi suddenly called. He must have spotted the old woman.   
      “Ha, be careful of whom? HUMANITY’S STRONGEST SOLDIER!?” The man taunted, grabbing Levi’s shirt and pulling him in. Levi kicked another man out of the way and pushed backwards.   
      “THERE’S A HORSE CART CRASHING THROUGH!” I had never heard Levi shout so desperately before and I didn’t like it. We all dodged the horse cart, though Jean-Eren and Armin-Historia were picked up and yanked onto the racing cart.   
      “EREN! EREN AND KRISTA! THEY’VE BEEN TAKEN AGAIN!” Sasha screamed loud enough for everyone to hear. The cart disappeared off into the distance and we watched it go for a moment or two grimly before disappearing ourselves, leaving only dust behind us. We scaled the walls and followed the horse cart subtly, arriving at a warehouse by the river system. Everyone shucked their coats and got into position. I moved around between every position, making sure everyone understood their role.   
      “Sasha, you’ve got this down. Don’t look so worried.” I urged, squeezing her shoulder. She shakily nodded and I checked on Connie.   
      “You know what you’re doing, right?” I asked.   
      “Keeping an eye out for the deal holders, got it.” Connie looked pale. “Is Sasha alright?” I tilted my head.   
      “Yeah, she’s a little tense but she’s okay.” He nodded determinedly.   
      “Good.” I went to leave but turned back to him.   
      “Is there… something going on between you and Sasha?” I admit, I had noticed that they were constantly goofing off their chores with each other and they were certainly closer with each other than anyone else in the group. Sasha seemed very fond of Connie but I wasn’t sure about the vice versa. As Levi had said a while ago, Connie had developed a very small crush on me when we first met, though that had disappeared quickly I’m glad to say. Connie’s cheeks flared up.   
      “N-no!” He shouted, clapping his hand over his mouth at his mistake. I shushed and listened intently. When there was no noise, I relaxed.   
      “Hey, it’s okay, Connie. To be honest, you two would be cute together. If you like her, go for it. Fighting with someone you love makes you all the more determined. I mean, it can hinder you in some cases, but it makes you stronger. Gives you something to fight for, you know?” I paused. “Sorry, I sound like a mother, don’t I? It’s not my place to pry. Do whatever you want, Connie.” I apologised with a smile and leaped onto the next roof, heading over to Levi and Mikasa.   
      “Are we ready?” I muttered.   
      “Yeah, come on.” Levi replied and we moved onto roof of the warehouse, slipping in through the windows. There were five guards in there. Silently, we moved down and between the crates. One man was perving on Armin. I glared at him in the darkness and noticed Mikasa’s gaze fixed on that man. She could beat that man to a bloody pulp. I turned my eyes to a man standing near the back and I made my way over. We’d pick off the patrolling guards first and then move to the men in the centre. As I positioned myself, I made sure Levi was in sight. He held his hand up and gave the signal. We moved in at the same time, wrapping our arms around the men’s necks and choking them. They passed out and I dragged my target into the darkness until he was hidden. Three down, two to go. Levi gave the signal again and he and Mikasa went charging in, immobilising the final two men.   
      “Alright, that’s all of-” A gunshot rang out and a hole appeared in the crate beside my head, wood splintering out and scraping my face. _That’s gonna be a pain to get out_. I turned and found a sixth man pointing his revolver at me. Sasha’s position wouldn’t allow her to shoot an arrow at him so I’d have to deal with this myself as Levi and Mikasa were too far away. The man shot again and I whipped my spear out, ducking under the shot and sprinting towards him. I swung the stick of the spear at his head and it cracked against his skull. He smacked into the wall and I grabbed the back of his coat and threw him to the floor, his head colliding with the stone floor and knocking him out cold. I was breathing heavily. I hadn’t had to do laborious fighting since I escaped the castle beyond Wall Rose so I was still a little out of practice. Mikasa gagged and tied up the sixth man as I caught my breath, bent over double with my hands on my knees. Levi walked over.   
      “You’ve pushed yourself.” He observed. “You need to rest more.”   
      “I’ll be fine.” I gasped out.   
      “Excuse me if I don’t believe that bullshit.” I stuck my middle finger up at him. “Tch, rude.” I managed to grin up at him and he rolled his eyes, going to alter the ropes around Jean and Armin. I noticed Mikasa aim another hard kick into the pervert’s gut, even though he was out cold.   
      “Incoming!” Connie shouted, peering through a window. “Three men, one of them looks like he could be the deal holder!” We quickly hid ourselves.   
      “Rhia, you stay hidden and catch your breath.” Levi commanded. “Mikasa and I will deal with them.” I barely had the energy to argue so I just nodded tiredly. He watched me for another moment before ducking behind cover. Vaguely, I heard voices outside.   
      “Did you check whether it’s someone in disguise?” Shit.   
      “... Not yet.” The first speaker sighed. The door opened.   
      “Idiot. Do you want to make another mistake?”   
      “I’m sorry.”   
      “Wait before sending a report. We’re not allowed to fail again.” Again? The door closed and the three men were now inside the warehouse.   
      “Hm? Where are the guards?”   
      “Hey, hey, in cases like this, the first step is to take off the cover-HAH!?” Mikasa jumped the man behind the person seemingly in charge, cracking her knee into his jaw and sending him to the ground. I heard more than saw Levi throw the other man to a painful crash into the floor. Mikasa then dived into the president, Jean and Armin springing off their chairs with the ropes to tie the newcomers up. I moved out of the shadows as the group tied the men up.   
      “Shit!” I heard the president mutter.   
      “Hurry!” Levi reprimanded Armin.   
      “Connie! Are there really only three!?” Mikasa asked, turning to look at Connie behind her in the window.   
      “Yeah, that’s all! There’s no-one else around!” The man beneath Mikasa moved his hand to his revolver beside his head, catching her off guard. Before I could even shout a warning, an arrow splintered the handle of the gun, shocking us all. I knew that Sasha was good, but I didn’t know she was _that_ good.   
      “He-hey!” Jean scolded. “What if it hit Mikasa!?”   
      “It’s Mikasa’s fault for taking her eyes away from the prey!” Sasha defended.   
      “She has a point, Mikasa.” I agreed. “Don’t do that again, alright? If Sasha hadn’t have been on point, you could have been dead.” Mikasa looked down at the man she was holding down and then back at Sasha.   
      “Thank you.” She said. Sasha smiled a little.   
      “See that as me paying you back for Trost in the Headquarters.” Mikasa’s eyes widened a fraction but she nodded. Apparently Mikasa had saved Sasha’s life on their first mission in Trost. _That means they have a strong bond in battle and place a lot of trust in one another. That’s good_. The men were gathered and placed against walls. We gathered around the man in charge.   
      “Are you the boss of this company?” Levi asked.   
      “No! I’m not, I’m just a coach driver being used! Just an old man! Please don’t hurt me! I don’t know anything!” Oh… Perhaps we were wrong? That wouldn’t make any sense though… The man caught the eye of Mikasa and there was a sense of recognition and familiarity between them.   
      “Oh… That time you were blocking the door…” Mikasa mused. “It’s this guy. I’ve heard his men call him ‘President’.” The President tutted in annoyance, his lie being seen through.   
      “Did you hear, President? I don’t feel safe in your nest. Let’s move elsewhere.”   
      “I have no choice.” The President grumbled.   
      “Your men can still lie here for a while.” I interjected, eying the pervert. “Someone fix his mouth gag.”   
      “Yes.” I was surprised that Armin stepped up to do it. He crouched and undid the gag.   
      “I heard about it…”   
      “Uh?” I narrowed my eyes at the man.   
      “You’re actually a boy…” He wheezed. “Because of you, I… I used to be normal… But you turned me into this… Do something about it-” I kicked his jaw and he fell to his right.   
      “Armin, leave it to me.” Jean placed a hand on Armin’s shoulder.   
      “What are you doing?” Levi called back to us. “Hurry.”   
      “This shitbag needs to be beaten down.” I growled, pressing my boot into his cheek hard. “You’re disgusting.”   
      “Rhia.” Levi said. I looked up at him.   
      “He’s like the bandits outside the walls, Levi.” I said darkly. “I’d be doing everyone a favour in putting him down like the dog he is.” Some looked at me in surprise. I suppose I had never seemed all that bloodthirsty to them. They’d never seen me kill people before.   
      “Knock him out and beat him up a bit then, but don't kill him - the Military Police will look for any excuse to arrest us.” Levi sighed. “We’ll be on the wall.” Jean fixed his mouth gag and I dismissed him.   
      “Rhia…” Armin murmured, reluctant to leave.   
      “Armin, you don’t want to see this.”   
      “Are you going to kill him?” I laughed mirthlessly.   
      “If only. No, I’m going to beat the shit out of him for what he’s done and said to you. Then I’ll leave him here.”   
      “C-can I stay?” I looked at him with wide eyes. “Please?” Armin wanted to watch me beat this man up? That was ever so slightly out of character for him.   
      “You want to watch?” I asked incredulously.   
      “Well, I also want to make sure you don’t kill him…” I paused. What was the right thing to do? Armin was going to have to kill people eventually, whether it be bandits or threats within the walls but did it have to be so soon? Eventually, I shook my head.   
      “No, Armin. I can’t allow that. Mikasa and Eren would probably kill me if I let you stay as well. Go with Jean and retrieve Eren and Historia. Hanji will be there already with Moblit and her squad and we’ll meet you at the castle. Go on.” Reluctantly, he nodded and left. As the door closed, I met with Levi’s eyes. I couldn’t decipher how he felt about this. Everyone else was out cold, except for the shithead I’d be punishing. He looked up at me, his pupils dilated and saliva dripping from his mouth. _Man, he really is horny…_ I sneered at him.   
      “I used to live outside the walls, you know. There were loads of bandits out there. The outside plains were filled with murderous, thieving, raping bastards. I once met a child-raper as well. I killed him as soon as I had the chance.” I crouched down by his head. “And you know what? You’re just like him. You know what’s worse? You were molesting and harassing one of my friends. That’s going to cost you dearly, I’m afraid.” I yanked him up by his collar and threw him to the middle of the floor. He rolled and groaned, panting.    
      “You disgust me.” I stamped on his stomach once, twice, thrice. “You have no idea how much pleasure I’d take from killing you right here and now. But you’d probably take pleasure in it as well, wouldn’t you? You sick fuck. Or maybe you’d like me to get my friend back in here and have him slit your throat instead? Maybe you’d come just at that, you twisted pig.” I punched his nose in and dislocated his jaw, punching over and over and over before relenting. “That’s all I can do. No, wait, I can a little more.” I broke his fingers one by one. “Alright, now that’s all I can do.” I straightened up and breathed deeply, out of breath and aching again. “Sleep well.” I turned and walked out.   
      By the time I reached the wall, Levi and the rest of the group were on the ground waiting for me. I walked over, not bothering to hide the blood on my knuckles. They noticed but they didn’t mention it.   
      “Negotiations have been made. We’re heading to the castle now and Reebs will make the necessary preparations.” Levi informed me. “Tomorrow is forecasted heavy rain so we’ll make the push then.” I nodded. “Good. Let’s go then.” We left Reebs behind and set off to the castle. The sun was low in the orange sky by the time we arrived. Hanji greeted us at the door.   
      “Hey, you’re here!” She grinned. “Everything’s alright here though we’re low on firewood.”   
      “I’ll get some.” I volunteered immediately.   
      “That’s stupid.” Levi said as we walked inside. “You’re still healing. Jean can go.” I rolled my eyes.   
      “Levi, it’s fine, I can handle it.”   
      “You might want to hurry up about it, whoever’s going to collect some.” Hanji looked at the sky outside the windows we passed on the way to meal room. “It’s getting dark and there’s storm clouds gathering plus it’s gonna get cold in here without fire.” I shrugged.   
      “Well, I’ll be going out now then.” I turned back the way we’d come. “I should be back before dark.”   
      “Rhia-” I ignored Levi and turned the corner, returning to the door. I grabbed a hatchet leaning against the stables, the large duffle bag and headed off into the trees. This would also give me a good opportunity to scope out the local land as well. 

      As I moved deeper into the forest, it got darker and before long, it started raining lightly. I cut trees as I went, stuffing the logs into the duffle bag. I reached a chasm eventually. This was going to be where we intercepted the Military Police members when Reebs brought them up. The rain poured heavier and heavier and the sky had darkened considerably by the time I finished surveying the chasm and assessing the risks in its depths. My arms ached and I was panting heavily on my journey back to the castle but I continued to cut for wood. The more I chopped, the longer we could go without looking for more so that fuelled me. I finally made it back to the castle, only getting a little lost once, but I was late. Very late. Late enough that I found Hanji on the way back. Well, more like she found me; she’d appeared out of nowhere in the darkness.   
      “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?” She screeched at me.   
      “Fucking hell, Hanji, you scared me!”   
      “It’s been three hours!”   
      “THREE HOURS!?”   
      “Yes!”   
      “Shit…” I muttered. “I was looking at the interception point, that’s all. I was just giving it the once-over, you know? I hadn’t realised it had taken me that long…”   
      “You’re not even wearing your coat, you must be freezing!” She went to take off her coat.   
      “No, don’t! It’s fine, Hanji, you’ll just get wet and I’ll make your coat wet. Honestly, I don’t think I could get any more soaked if I tried.” I made a weak joke and she rolled her eyes but laughed anyway. “So why are you out here?”   
      “Levi sent me to look for you, duh.” I blinked.   
      “He did? Aww, what a nice man.”   
      “Tch, tell me about it, sending me into the pouring rain to find someone who has an innate sense of direction.”   
      “Ehe, well, I did get a little lost at one point. I’ve not been in this part of the forest before so…”   
      “It _is_ dark in here… You don’t even have a torch with you, are you fucking nuts?”   
      “Hey, I thought I was going to be back before dark, right?” She rolled her eyes again.   
      “Yeah, yeah, alright. Just be thankful that it was me who found you and not Levi; he’d probably kill you himself.” I shrugged.   
      “He loves me too much to kill me.”   
      “Yeah, true.” She said that _way_ too seriously. She caught me frowning at her.   
      “What? It’s true.” I shook my head fervently as we walked back the way she had come.   
      “No, it’s not.”   
      “It so is.”   
      “It’s not.”   
      “It _so_ is!”   
      “Hanji, shut up, it’s not, he doesn’t…” We hopped over a fallen tree and she snatched the axe from me to chop it. “Dude.”   
      “You’re exhausted, Rhia, don’t deny it, I’m doing you a favour.” She was right. “Anyway, he so does. Trust me, I can _see_ these things.” I frowned at her as she swung the axe down.   
      “What? No you _can’t_.”   
      “I can, it’s the Scientist’s Intuition.”   
      “You made that up on the spot, you liar.”   
      “Okay, maybe, but it still works. I mean, I could tell that you’ve been in love with Levi practically since you met him, right?” My blood drained from my face and then flooded it.   
      “What?” I squeaked.   
      “Rhia, everyone can see it.” Once again, I paled. “You’re looking like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you sick?”   
      “Probably.” I muttered. “Seriously, everyone can see it?”   
      “Everyone but Sir Clean Freak himself.” She tittered to herself at the joke and put the logs in the bag. “He’s so fucking blind. Everyone can see that he loves you too but you’re too fucking blind to see it as well.” I rolled my eyes.   
      “I think if he felt the same, I’d be able to see that.”   
      “Hm, you’d think that but no…” I pushed her lightly and the castle slowly came in sight.   
      “Oh, I was closer than I thought.” A few of the window had light emanating from them. “How much firewood did we have in the first place?”   
      “Just about enough for a few hours, but like I said, it gets cold at night in castles like that. We’d need more fuel, bigger fires and ones that last longer.” We took the wood inside and headed to the sitting room where everyone was, according to Hanji. When we got in, we must have looked like drowned rats. I started shivering a little but hopefully no-one noticed.   
      “So, it’s raining a little bit outside.” I said cheekily and dragged the bag over to the fire place, putting the logs in piles.   
      “You’re absolutely soaking!” Sasha observed, leaning forward to the fire for more warmth. I chucked another few logs on there and the fire roared, the heat intensifying, and everyone inched closer to the hearth.   
      “Yeah, I forgot a coat.” I mumbled, straightening up and making sure not to groan with fatigue. I noticed Levi glaring at me from his armchair and I avoided looking at him.   
      “Go get changed now.” He ordered, clearly pissed off with me. Everyone turned to him in surprise and trepidation. His expression was stony.   
      “Into what? I’ve got no pyjamas.” I reminded him.   
      “Use mine then, moron.”   
      “Well, she can use mine if she-” Hanji began.   
      “Use mine, moron.” He repeated, interrupting Hanji and still scowling at me. I sighed and left for our room. If he was angry with me, would he kick me out? Now that we’d moved to a new place, would we split up again and have our own rooms? I had no idea but I begrudgingly changed into his clothes. I put on pyjama bottoms this time because it really was freezing in the room. I felt too embarrassed to go back down for food and I was too tired to eat anyway. I crawled into the bed and wrapped the duvet around me, leaving the lamps on for Levi when he came in and shouted at me. I was too cold to fall asleep so I lay there shivering inside the thick duvet. If this was what it was going to be like to sleep alone in this castle, I was not going to be a happy bunny about it.   
      Levi came in fifteen minutes or so later, silently getting changed. He was giving me the silent treatment? What a dick!   
      “Are you cold?” His voice cut through the silence after another minute.   
      “J-just a tad.” My shivering was obvious in my voice. I heard him sigh softly and a few moments later, I could hear a fire crackling. I sat up, still wrapped up in the duvet and looked over at him. He was crouched in front of a fireplace that I hadn’t noticed before, putting logs into the flames. As usual, he was shirtless and only wearing pyjama bottoms.   
      “Do you ever w-wear a shirt to bed?” I raised an eyebrow at him. He turned to me.   
      “It’s uncomfortable. Just as it is for you to wear bottoms.”   
      “I’m wearing b-bottoms right now.”   
      “You’ll get too hot in those and then you’ll start complaining all night long again.” I rolled my eyes and lay back down again, yawning.   
      “There are easier ways to get me to undress, Levi.” I muttered, hoping he didn’t hear me. He didn’t make a sound so I assumed that he didn’t.   
      “Leave some duvet for me.” He grumbled as he approached the bed. I unrolled myself and crawled under it again. He threw a big furry blanket over the top. I had my back to him so I couldn’t see him. Suddenly, the duvet and blanket were pulled back and he grabbed my arm, tugging me over to him.   
      “W-what? What are you doing?” I was freezing again.   
      “Taking off your bottoms.” WHAT!? My face had never been more red as his hands fell to my hips and pulled the bottoms down.   
      “L-Levi!”   
      “You’ll thank me later.” He murmured. “Well, actually, you won’t, ‘cause you’re stubborn as hell and you’ll probably forget too. So you might as well thank me now.”   
      “You’re stripping me!” He rolled his eyes as he continued to try and yank them down.    
      “I’m only taking off your trousers, relax, don’t be so dramatic-”   
      “Levi, please, stop, please-”   
      “Rhia, relax, seriously, what’s fucking with you-”   
      “STOP!” I shrieked, kicking him away and rolling back over the bed and standing on the other side, the pyjama bottoms more or less forgotten on the ground. We stared at each other, his eyes wide with shock and confusion, my own wide with fear.   
      “Rhia…” He said softly, holding his hands up. “I’m sorry.” I clutched my mouth and breathed deeply, beginning to hyperventilate. “Okay, I need you to calm down, please, Rhia, ssh, it’s okay…” I fell to my knees and sobbed, feeling sick and starting to retch. “I’m coming over, okay? I’m coming over around the bed, don’t freak out, okay?” I could barely hear him. My head hurt and my body hurt with the memory and all I could feel was crippling fear.   
      “I c-can’t…”   
      “Ssh, I’m here, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m going to touch you now, just lightly on the shoulder, alright? Rhia?” I felt his hand on my shoulder and I flinched for a moment. He persevered and laid his hand more firmly on my shoulder. I didn’t move away and he put his other hand on the other shoulder, moving me gently to face him.   
      “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, okay, Rhia, please, look at me.” I wiped my eyes a bit and peered up at him. His expression was one of fear, concern, grief and guilt. Of course, Levi is not the most expressive of individuals and I had never seen such raw emotion on his face.   
      “Rhia, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry-” I flung my arms around his neck and pulled him close.   
      “I know, it’s okay, it’s okay, please don’t blame yourself.” Even Levi was panting, from adrenaline or fear perhaps.   
      “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” He whispered into my hair, lifting me gently and placing me on the bed, crawling over me and laying on my other side. He tugged the blankets over us and held me close but delicately, as though he was afraid of breaking me or scaring me off. Over and over, he apologised until the words didn’t make sense anymore. And then he simply held me.   
      “I never should have done that.” He said after what felt like hours of silence. “I’m sorry.”   
      “It’s okay.” I whispered back. “It wasn’t your fault. You just… forgot. I forget sometimes too. I forget about the scars too and I just wish they’d disappear.”   
      “I don’t care about the scars.” I blinked and looked up him.   
      “What?”   
      “I don’t care about the scars on your back. They don’t define you. They show that you’ve had a lot of shit thrown at you but you’re still here. You’re not a tragedy, Rhia. You’re whatever you want to be so don’t let the scars tell you who you are. That means not being ashamed to show them to the rest of the squad. Hell, turn it into an inspirational story if you want, but don’t let them keep dragging you down. They show your tenacity, not your weakness.” Oh god. Help. Why was I fucking crying?   
      “Why are you fucking crying?” He asked, leaning back with concern.   
      “I literally j-just asked myself th-that.” I wept, wiping my eyes.   
      “Stop crying, okay? It’s not… It’s not nice to see you cry. I don’t like it, so stop.” That just made me worse. “Shit.” And that made me laugh.   
      “S-sorry. I just… I don’t know. I always thought the scars would stop me from being n-normal or something. Like, I’d never be able to have a proper relationship with someone, if ever, because they’d be too busy pitying me or something. God, sorry, this got weird fast.” Hanji’s declaration of Levi’s apparent love for me came flooding back to me and I coloured even more, ducking my head down so he couldn’t see. “Forget I said that.” I rolled over and kept space between us. _Nice one. You fucked up. A lot_. The fire went out and it got dark and cold very fast. _Shit_. I shivered and shivered but my pride would not allow me to seek Levi’s warmth again. Turned out that I didn’t have to seek it; he sought me out himself.   
      “Something’s up with you.” He muttered into my neck as his arms pulled me closer. “I know you won’t tell me though.”   
      “Ev-eventually I will.” I whispered. Because it would all come out at some point. I’d slip up and he’d figure out why I always blushed, flirted and got embarrassed easily with him around. Then what? Was Hanji right? Or was her so-called Scientist’s Intuition completely null? I mean, she’d figured out that I loved Levi, but then again, I wasn’t exactly subtle about it apparently. But if I wasn’t subtle then why hadn’t Levi figured it out yet? Or maybe he had and he was only here because he pitied me? If he wanted to stay friends then I could do that. It’d be hard but I could do that. I couldn’t bear to lose him so I’d make do with remaining as friends. I’d have to.   
      “You’re gonna get cold like this.” Levi’s voice brought me back from my, frankly, depressing thoughts. “Turn around.” I didn’t have the energy to argue anymore, I was just too tired. I faced him and didn’t bother to move myself down a bit. It occurred to me that my face was level with Levi’s but I ignored it. We’d never slept like this before. It was usually my head on his chest or in his neck, or vice versa, though that was less common. It felt more… intimate.   
      “Go to sleep. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.” He mumbled, moving a bit of hair out of my eyes. I was too tired to blush.   
      “Alright. ‘Night then.”   
      “‘Night.” 

 

 


End file.
